Page 8 of The Beach Holiday

THEN

I stepped inside the helicopter, knowing this was my first time but not wanting to draw attention to that fact.

I eyed the other three carefully and managed to smile and look comfortable on cue.

But there was a part of me that wondered if this was real.

Or had I just suddenly found myself in a reality TV drama?

Perhaps this was a game, a challenge I had to endure.

I was surprised to see it was a woman who was about to fly us to Totini; then why wouldn’t it be?

Avril greeted her at the front, and the two of them talked for a few moments in hushed tones.

The woman was dressed semi-smartly in a white shirt and khaki trousers.

She donned a large head set and was relaying some important information, and Avril was listening intently and replying with short answers.

Avril then squeezed her shoulder and sat down opposite Kali and me.

Kali looked at me. I thought her expression might break into a smile, but it didn’t. She looked away after a second, and I realised she was assessing me.

The heli took off as my stomach dropped and then flew back up. Avril caught my eye and I smiled through gritted teeth.

We flew over a vast expanse of water, and I tried to spot land, but there seemed to be none in sight.

I ignored the tightening in my chest – a pang of claustrophobia with a sprinkling of agoraphobia as I looked at the vast ocean surrounding us and the four unfamiliar women I was now travelling with.

I was now so far away from home and had no real quick or easy way to get back.

I began to wonder back to the days before I left England for Fiji and I reminded myself why I had left.

No matter how much I tried to assure myself this was all good, that I was okay, that this bizarre situation I had suddenly leapt into and was now right in the middle of, was okay, I realised I was only here because of one person and that was Bruno.

His behaviour and his actions had been the catalyst to my booking the flight without a moment’s thought.

Of course, Fiji and Australia and exotic places had been on my radar, and I had imagined that one day I would travel to see them, but not under those circumstances.

And then I began to wonder if this was all part of the plan; the big cosmos, the universe, had already mapped out my exit from this world.

It happened all the time. I read once of someone who had survived a near-fatal acid attack and recovered, only to get cancer.

I had run away from an abusive relationship only to die in a helicopter somewhere over the South Pacific Ocean.

I must have been far away with my thoughts as I hadn’t noticed land coming into sight until Avril patted my knee and jerked her finger out of the window at a tiny yellow and green spec in the distance.

I felt a flutter in my stomach, something halfway between fear and gratitude.

Maybe not today. Maybe I wouldn’t die today.

The first thing I noticed about Totini when I stepped out of the helicopter and onto the tiny landing pad, and after a minute or two had passed so that the helicopter engine had cooled enough, was the silence.

It burned my ears it was so loud. I had never been anywhere as silent.

.. And it was as if Avril, Mary and Kali knew this too.

They barely moved as though they were giving me a few minutes to adjust and to soak in the stillness. Eventually, I dared to speak.

‘Wow.’

They all looked at me at the same time and smiled.

‘It should be called that, right?’ Mary laughed. I looked at Kali and noticed she was staring again.

‘The silence,’ I said. ‘It’s hurting my ears,’ I gushed.

‘It can do that. But only this side of the island. Through there—’ Kali pointed ‘—is camp. Things can get a little noisier there.’

‘Camp?’ I asked, realising I had never exactly been sure what I was to expect when I arrived.

‘Yeah, there’s more of us,’ Mary sang merrily.

I breathed out loudly and it seemed to echo between us. I wasn’t sure if it was a sigh of relief or I had been holding my breath.

‘I have to ask,’ I said and eyes were on me again. ‘How? I mean, do you own this island?’ I asked specifically to Avril this time. ‘Because we are a little out of the way here, right?’

‘I have an arrangement,’ Avril said softly. ‘But, yes, essentially, it is ours. No one can bother us.’

‘Unless we want them to,’ Mary said, taking my arm softly and encouraging me into a spin.

There were smiles all around. Even Kali’s expression cracked into something other than a frown. Then Mary picked up my massive backpack and walked ahead, carrying mine and Avril’s bags like a caveman. I took a second to steal a glance at my phone.

Damn it. No reception. And no reply from either my mum or dad. But my message had reached them, thank goodness. Maybe there was a spot on the island where I would get something.

‘You’ll get nothing here.We’re way off the grid,’ Kali said disdainfully.

I felt a shiver of fear that I was uncontactable and unable to contact anyone else.

‘Okay,’ I said.

‘You’ll get used to it. It’s nice, Sadie. Freeing. Remember, that’s what we want?’ Avril chipped in and put her arm around me, and I thought it strange she was talking about us as though we were one entity. As though our opinions were already in sync.

Avril left me and went back to the pilot. She began speaking with her again. She pointed to a row of small huts where the beach curved round. I stood and looked at the huts, marvelling at their simplicity.

Kali began to walk towards Mary.

‘What are they?’ I called after her so she stopped and looked around at me. I pointed at the huts and looking back at Mary, shielded my eyes with my other arm. Kali looked as though she were considering them for a moment, as though she had also just spotted them for the first time.

‘Stores,’ Kali said promptly. Mary and Kali exchanged a glance and again I felt like the silly tourist.

I looked expectantly at Mary, hoping for more information.

‘It’s essentially a drop-off and pick-up point. Saves time going into camp.’ The women began walking again.

Mary had satisfied my curiosity, and now I was intrigued to see camp as it had already been mentioned twice.

I imagined a wholesome place, with plenty going on, a fire pit always burning, and the hub of the home.

I smiled to myself as I thought of all those dinner parties and soirees and how I was about to enter one of the most rudimentary kitchens on the planet.

‘So how many live here?’ I asked as I caught up with Mary.

Avril was still talking with the pilot as we walked away.

‘Thirty-one.’ The number slipped off her tongue. ‘And that includes you.’

‘I’m included already?’

‘Of course. Why wouldn’t you be? You came all this way.’ Mary grinned. ‘Besides, when you see the camp, you won’t want to leave.’

We walked through a clearing of trees; coconuts hung from many of them, and I felt my heart burst with happiness at such a beautiful, iconic sight.

I had seen little if anything that looked the way Totini did back on the mainland.

I smelt the camp fire before I saw it. And when it finally did come into view as we rounded a corner, it was nestled amongst a circle of rocks, emitting a plume of smoke that carried the hazy late afternoon light.

There was a buzz around the camp, a faraway sound of music, a steady beat.

Yet in the foreground, something softer.

And then I saw a woman sitting cross-legged by the fire, cradling a cherry red acoustic guitar.

She plucked away gently, looking down at her fingers as they moved across the strings.

I watched her intently as she provided the score to this moment that was branding itself into a core memory.

She lifted her head lightly, and her expression was already braced for a hint of a smile, as though she had felt me watching her.

‘I can show you your digs, or you can chill?’ Mary was still holding my rucksack and Avril’s bag. I realised Avril was not with us. I wondered if she was still on the beach talking with the pilot.

‘I wouldn’t mind a quick freshen-up,’ I said, looking around and noticing that Kali had walked away.

She was already on the other side of the camp, in conversation with a long-haired brunette.

They both looked my way, and I sensed some animosity there.

I presumed finding my feet and establishing myself here would take time.

Perhaps Kali felt I was a freeloader and I wouldn’t pull my weight.

I was going to have to prove myself to her, I thought.

Beyond the campfire, rows of huts lined a walkway. The foliage and woodland grew wild beyond that.

‘That’s the other side of the island that way, used mainly for cattle grazing. We don’t go over there unless we have to,’ Mary said as we wandered along. I wondered which hut would be mine.

‘We have you in with Clara. She’s fun. You’ll like her. Sporty. She’s at the other end of the beach right now, probably kayaking or windsurfing or something.’

‘Windsurfing?’ I said.

‘Oh yeah, we have it all here. A proper activity centre. You’ll never get bored. Even if there weren’t activities, there is a lot of work to do. We’re in the middle of a new building project, plus the cleaning, the cooking, the hunting.’

‘Hunting?’ I questioned again, realising I probably sounded like a parrot. ‘You mean fishing?’

Mary smiled; I noticed that her teeth were crooked. ‘Sure.’ She grinned. ‘You like fishing?’

‘I only sold chocolate on the mainland. I guess I should have tried to pick up a better skill.’

‘You have all the skills you need here right now,’ Mary told me sternly. ‘And we can teach you anything else you need to know,’ she said softly. ‘Here we are.’