Page 15 of The Beach Holiday

‘Not really. Rarely actually. But we must always remain vigilant.’

‘So I have a lot of questions,’ I said.

‘Sure,’ Avril said. ‘This evening, we will talk.’

We watched the sunset from the clearing in the camp and ate a supper of vegetable chilli with garlic rice and green beans.

I was feeling sleepy but I wanted to stay awake, to have the conversation I was promised with Avril.

I had been thinking about the man all day; about that look on his face and how quickly he surrendered.

How had he got here? I hadn’t seen the other side of the island yet.

Was that where he had moored his boat? Avril, Kali and Precious had been so efficient at dealing with the situation.

But I wondered where he was now and what had become of him.

What happened to those who came to the island uninvited?

‘How long do you intend to stay with us, Sadie?’ Ray, the older lady with her signature headband, was speaking to me. I was quiet for a moment, mulling over her question.

‘Well, I was invited here, so I guess until I’ve outstayed my welcome.’

‘There’s no such thing as that here.’ Ray laughed and flashed me those gaps in her teeth again.

‘You will reach a point where you have everything you need. And you will realise over time that amounts to just a handful of things. Food, shelter, relationships with people who care about you and who you care about.’

‘And that’s it?’ I laughed. ‘That sounds pretty simple.’ But I knew that was the only reason I had come here in the first place.

Ray shifted. ‘Here comes the kava; take it easy tonight, Sadie.’

I watched it being carefully carried in a large wooden jug. Half coconut shells were being handed around.

Ray was handed a coconut and it was filled halfway. She gulped down the entire contents.

I smelt the overpowering earthy scent with a bitter spiced undertone taste as I drained my coconut cup and placed it on the ground.

The next thing I knew, there was music from a speaker. I turned and saw an old boombox cassette player, probably running on batteries. Women had sprung to their feet. I recognised the song as Abba’s ‘Dancing Queen’. Ray jumped to her feet and held her hands out to me.

‘Come on,’ she squealed.

And I was up. Dancing felt easier after the shot of kava, and I found that being in Fiji made my bones and muscles feel constantly supple, as though the warmth had made them so.

Within minutes, I felt my body relax even more than it had due to the heat and humidity on the island, so when a full coconut arrived again, I didn’t hesitate to swallow it down.

I had seen Avril moving around the circle, and when I turned around, she was in front of me. She put her hands on my face and stroked my hair back.

‘Sadie, look at you. You’re glowing. Totini is doing you good.’

‘I love it here,’ I said as I looked around at the big all-female disco that was happening around me.

‘Everyone is so chilled, so happy.’ All thoughts of the man were behind me and no one else seemed to be making a big deal out of it.

Precious and Kali had dealt with it without a fuss, and I didn’t need to question it.

‘Why do you think that is?’ She slipped one arm on my waist, her finger grazed the skin between my vest and skirt.

I felt my skin came alive under her touch, my drunken mind suddenly alert.

Behind her, the young girl from her cabin was grasping at her shoulder.

Avril turned and lifted her up into her arms, the girl’s legs thrust around her waist, and Avril grabbed her buttocks and nuzzled into her neck before swinging back around to face me.

‘This is my Lola,’ Avril said. ‘Have you met my Lola?’

Lola was looking into Avril’s eyes as though she were the only person here on the island.

‘No, we haven’t met.’ There was no interaction from Lola. She seemed young and was clearly obsessed with Avril.

‘I promise, I’m all yours tomorrow,’ Avril said. ‘It’s been a bit of a weird day.’

I nodded. ‘Of course.’

‘Good,’ she replied. ‘You’re not going anywhere?’

‘No.’

‘Good.’ Avril winked and walked away. Lola slipped down her body and into her arms. The two kissed passionately before disappearing into their cabin.

That night in my own hut, Clara and I sat up in our beds, legs crossed like we were at a pyjama party.

‘So, you came from England?’

‘Yes, I worked on the mainland first, selling chocolate, and I met Avril in a café and she asked me to come with her.’

‘And so you did? Just like that?’

‘I did,’ I said. ‘And you? How did you find this place? How did all these women find this place?’

‘I was in Australia. I met Avril there. She was looking for more women to join the commune and so we came.’

‘We?’

Clara looked down at her hands and squeezed them. ‘I came with someone, but she left.’

‘Oh, I’m sorry, you seem sad about that.’

‘She was my best friend.’ Clara looked up, her eyes sparkling with tears. She waved her hand. ‘Anyway, that was last year. I have you now.’ She smiled.

I listened to the soft sounds of Clara sleeping, thankful I hadn’t been lumbered with a real snorer.

I was on the ledge of consciousness, about to fall into the valley of sleep, when the image of the man from the clearing came at me.

I gasped and opened my eyes. Clara stirred but didn’t wake.

I couldn’t unsee that look. It hadn’t been hopelessness; it was pure defeat.

It was the look of someone who knew there was no escape.

I fell asleep unable to shake the image of the sadness that his expression had carried.