Page 50 of Somewhere Only We Know (Healing in Cincy #4)
JAX
MID-FEbrUARY
“ T hey loved it?” I say into the phone.
My manager called to tell me the latest numbers from my episode with Nate. I already reach more listeners than I could have hoped for, but this episode shot me up to number one for the last few weeks. Apparently people love a second chance.
“Jax, they want more episodes with you two.”
“I don’t know, Ness. The reason Nate and I work is because we have separate hobbies. I don’t wanna monetize our marriage.”
She sighs and I hear the tapping of her keyboard. “I know, Jax. But they’re offering a seven-figure deal. They take over the hosting, the distribution. If you thought your reach was great now, with them it could be astronomical.”
“Seven-figures?” I choke out. I make enough already from ads that run on my show, plus my Youtube channel. But this number, this illusive number, is more than I could ever dream of making.
“Yes. I know you’re wary of agreeing so fast. These deals take a while, so you have time.
I’ll email you their proposal and you can look it over.
I think this deal would change your life.
As your manager, I think this would be great exposure for you.
But as your friend, I see why you’re wary.
But know that I support you either way.”
“Thanks, Vanessa. I’ll think it over.”
“No problem. Bye, Jax.”
I hear the silence on the other end signaling she’s hung up.
My email pings with the email from Vanessa and my heart flies to my throat.
I’m not equipped to handle this sort of thing.
I started my podcast as a way to get my words out.
Did I think I’d reach anyone? Of course not.
I thought Kamryn and my parents would be my only listeners.
So to think I could reach more than the people in the states, send my heart to my throat.
But contracts and the legalities of what this entails is more than I can handle.
Me: Are you at your office?
Sarah: I am. Did you need something?
Me: Maybe.
Sarah: I’ll be here all day.
I tap my finger against my desk. I’d ask Nate, but he’s already in Florida for spring training and I don’t want to bring this to him just yet.
I don’t want to distract him. So I make a list. I mark down everything good that would happen if Nate and I started a show together.
Then I mark down everything bad that would happen if we started a show together.
When I finish, they’re both even with the same pros and cons.
Groaning, I change out of my lounge clothes to head out and talk to Sarah.
Making the drive into the city, I smile as I see people rushing in at the last minute.
One of the pros to being so good at what I do is that I can work from home.
But I won’t deny that sometimes I get a little envious of people having someplace to be every day.
That is until I remember my work commute is so close that all I do is roll out of bed and stumble to my office.
I find a spot in the parking lot at Sarah’s office and snag my keys and phone.
Walking through the sliding glass doors of the lobby, I contemplate taking the stairs and only have a mild freak-out when I decide to take the elevator.
When the doors of the elevator open, I think of Nate and press the button before heading into the corner.
I keep my gaze on the top of the car as I’m whisked to the top.
When the doors open, I hurry off casually and head to the reception desk.
“Hi, Tessa. Sarah said I could come by anytime.”
“Hi, Jax. Head on back.”
“Thanks.” I say and wave to her.
On second thought, I think to myself as I walk through the cubicle farm, I’m glad I work from home. Sarah’s boss makes this place look inviting but the idea of being chained to a desk like this, where everyone can see what you’re doing, is my personal nightmare.
I knock on her closed office door and wait for her response.
“Hey.” I say and pop my head in.
“Hi. Come in Mrs. Holloway.” She says with raised eyebrows.
I roll my eyes and shut the door before taking a seat. “Very funny.”
“I know. But I love saying it,” she sings. “What’s up?”
I tell her about my phone call with Vanessa, the number, the show, and my thoughts.
“Let me see the list.” Sarah holds her hand out .
“What makes you think I made a list and then brought it?”
She quirks a brow as her hand stays out between us and I grumble as I pull it out of the back pocket of my jeans. Sarah’s smile is smug as she unfolds the note. I tap my index finger on my thigh as I wait for her to finish reading my pro’s and con’s.
“I see where you’re torn. Jax this list is even.”
“I know,” I whine. “And I can’t take this to Kam or Emily because they’d both tell me to follow my heart which does not help me in the slightest. And I figured since you deal with contracts and deals for your clients, my husband included, you could maybe give me some advice.”
“Okay. Well, as Nate’s publicist I do think this would be a good move for him.
But I don't think he needs it. Even before you came back into the picture, he was already very successful and very much resembled a turtle. But I’m with Vanessa on this in that you two were incredible on your show.
Then the feminist in me is skeptical. Why now?
Why are you getting an offer like this now? ”
I huff and sit back in my chair. “That was the first thing that ran through my mind. You know how it is. Having a man by your side makes you an asset.”
No matter how many strides a woman makes in this world, she’ll always be held to a lower standard than a man.
But if that woman makes strides with a man by her side, suddenly everyone wants a piece of the magic.
That mindset continues to set women back for the fear of being seen less than their counterparts.
“I’m gonna say no.”
Sarah’s smile is one of pride. “I was hoping that’s what you were going to say. Plus, I think you just found your next episode. ”
“Thanks, Sarah.”
“How is Nate? This is your first time apart since Vegas. But how are you?”
I let out a sigh. “How did Kamryn do this? How do you do it? I miss having him in my bed. We talk a little, but he’s so exhausted after each day that he usually falls asleep on the phone after a few minutes.”
I try not to think too much about the day Nate left for training. It brought up weird emotions from college and I knew he was thinking the same. But I’m trying to not be too dependent on him being around to make me happy.
“Just remember that he’s yours. And that planes fly to Florida almost daily.” Sarah says with a laugh that I can’t help but join in on.
Later that night, Nate finally has a chance to call me when he wraps up training for the day.
“Hi, Bee.” He says into the camera.
“Hi, baby.”
“What’s wrong?”
My face scrunches that he can read me like this. “Who said anything is wrong?”
Nate gives me a be serious look.
I take a sip of my wine and set it on the table next to me. “I was on a call with Vanessa this morning. The numbers came in from the show you were on and they were my highest numbers to date.”
“Bee, that’s incredible,” he praises.
“Yeah, it is.” I agree with him.
“But…?”
“You’re a hot commodity and always will be. So I’m skeptical if these numbers are because of me or…”
“If it’s because of me?”
I wince because, yes. “Yeah. Plus Vanessa told me a studio was interested in hosting a show with the both of us. But again, why now?”
“Baseball and you are my main focus. Bee, I’ve never had any interest in hosting a podcast like you do. It has never crossed my mind.”
“Do you think it’s weird that I’m only being approached because of you?”
His mouth sets in a straight line. “Yeah. Jax, your podcast is great. I thought that when I was trying to figure you out. And if a company couldn’t see that before I was on it, then they don’t know the talent they’re missing out on.”
“It’s a lot of money though.” I tell him.
“I have a lot of money too,” he says like it’s no big deal.
“Nathan.” I scold.
“Jaclyn.”
I breathe out through my nose and roll my eyes when I see him smiling on the screen.
“I guess I was hesitant about saying no and telling you I was going to turn them down, because I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.
Because what if you said yes? What if deep down you really wanted to do a show with me?
There would be no separation and, I love you, but I would kick you out so fast.”
He laughs at my confession. “No hurt feelings here. You’re making the right move, Bee. Screw them for not noticing your talent before I came along.”
“Thanks, baby.” I tell him. “I miss you.”
“I miss you too.”