Page 47 of Somewhere Only We Know (Healing in Cincy #4)

JAX

I ’m setting up the second camera when Nate posts up against the doorway.

Since getting back from Virginia a week ago, he’s been working out twice a day.

Even roping Mason and Riley in for a few workouts.

And after getting our schedules aligned, we’re finally sitting down to film my long awaited podcast update.

I’ve never been nervous to film an episode.

That could be because I’ve never had an actual guest in my studio.

Everything has been done virtually and I’ve been able to hide the knee bouncing I do.

Or it could be that Nate is finally seeing me in my element.

Either way, my hope is that once I start talking the nerves will fade away.

Taking a final look at the camera, lights, and chair setup I turn to my husband.

“Are you sure you’re up for this?” I ask and walk over to him. I slip my hands under his sweatshirt and warm my hands, smiling at the shiver that wracks his body.

“Brat.” Nates says and kisses the tip of my nose. “But, yes I’m ready.”

“Okay. And then we can take a nap after. ”

His eyes widen and he nods firmly. “I canceled my second workout too. My body is beat.”

“I bet.” I stretch onto my tip toes and give him a kiss. “Okay. Take a seat on the left. I’ve just gotta get the cameras going and turn the lights on, then we can get started.”

It takes me no time at all to get everything setup. I make sure the mic is set in the right spot for Nate and then take my seat, placing my blanket over my lap.

I look over and see him smiling at me with awe. “What?”

“I like seeing you like this. In your element.”

I smile shyly as I press the button to turn on our mics. “Ready?”

Nate nods and crosses an ankle over his leg; the picture of cool, calm, and collected.

“Welcome back to Life Not Simplified . I’m Jax and I have a very special guest with me.

But before I get into who is in the studio with me, I want to go back to six months ago when I talked about new patterns.

Do you all remember that? It started when I met this girl at the dog park.

And before you think you know where this story is headed, I’m going to stop you right there.

This isn’t a love story between her and I.

Although, I should thank her for where this story is going.

Had I not met her and had my sister not gotten tickets to this specific baseball game–” I look over at Nate and he winks, “I wouldn’t have found him again.

I was doubtful of introducing a new pattern into my life.

You all know this as I’ve let you in on my thoughts and how skeptical I was.

But after my last relationship, I needed to find a way to incorporate color into my life.

And I’m not talking about changing up the clothes I wear or what my house looks like.

Because, to be quite narcissistic, I love those two things about my life and I was not looking to change those.

I had already spent so long molding myself into a version of who my ex wanted me to be that it took me almost a year to find me, as Jax, me as the person who’s able to stand on her own two feet. ”

I pause to take a sip of water. Nate’s gaze is the most reassuring look that I could have ever hoped to have.

“So back to the pattern and how I resisted, but then finally welcomed that change. In college, I had this best friend. I told him everything. Maybe way too much considering we were just friends. One day in our third year, he told me he had a crush on me. Shocking, I know. Who couldn’t resist me back then?

” Nate’s foot reaches out and kicks my foot. “Are you denying this?” I ask him.

“No.”

“But I shut him down. I refused to believe that he would ruin our friendship over a silly little crush. Until he told me, and I quote, ‘I won’t rush you, okay? We can take this as slow as you need to. But just so you know, as soon as my lips touched yours, I became yours. And I hope you became mine?’”

“You remember that?” he asks, and I’m sure people will melt over his voice like I do every single day.

“Of course I do. We said a lot of words to each other in the early days of our relationship, but I remembered those so vividly. Now, you may be asking yourself, if you two were so great together why are we just now finding out about this mystery guy? Well, friends, life is not as simple as it seems. That’s why I titled this podcast. If everything was simple, we’d be a lot more boring than white paint.

We veered off track. He went one way and I went another.

Did I think about him? Every single day. ”

“That’s why I have the tattoos,” Nate chimes in.

I huff a soft laugh into the microphone. “Yes. And I promise we are going to get to that, but first we’re gonna take a short break.”

I push my mic away from me and obnoxiously stretch. Nate is more reserved as I feel he doesn’t want to touch or break anything.

“How long are your breaks?”

“About five minutes. Just enough time to stretch my legs and hips before camping out in my chair again.”

“Do you go on vocal rest after?”

“Not usually.” I tell him, sitting back down and pulling my mic close to me again. “But today I might.” I wink and turn on the intro music. “Welcome back, friends. What were we talking about?”

“My tattoos,” Nate speaks up.

“Ugh, not quite.” He and I laugh. I’ll never get over that sound.

Nate’s laughs are rare, but around me, I’ve noticed he lets them out easier.

“The burning question for you all is how we got here? How did a simple baseball game over the summer lead us to this spot? First, you have to know that I was angry and hurt. I hold onto my anger and hurt longer than anyone. That’s something I should talk to a therapist about.

Anyways, I’m going to skip the in-between because it’s painful and tell you that we have mutual friends who just want the best for those in their lives.

One trip to Las Vegas on a joint bachelor-bachelorette party and we woke up married. ”

“You’re married?” Nate asks.

“I should probably introduce you?” I raise my eyebrows at him questioningly.

“I think your listeners would love to put a name to the voice.”

“If you insist. My husband is Nathan Holloway. Yes, that Nathan Holloway who plays baseball for Cincinnati. I call him, Natey.”

“Don’t say that on the air,” he whines with a smile.

“I’m sorry, it can’t be edited out.”

He and I fall into laughter again. This is what I’ve always wanted in a relationship. Laughter. So much laughter that my stomach hurts.

And love. Yeah. A lot of love.

“That’s fine,” Nate begins as we finally compose ourselves. “What my wife wants, my wife gets.”

I hold my flaming cheeks and Nate smiles like the cat who caught the canary. “Yes, he is this romantic all of the time,” I say into the microphone. “So, Natey. Tell the people what our second chance has been like.”

I send off the podcast and video files to my editor and make sure the studio lights are unplugged before turning off the overhead light and heading to the living room.

Nate is laying on the couch, the TV playing some highlight reel of past games, and pats the spot in front of him.

I greedily squeeze in next to him, wrapping my arm around his waist and settling my head on his shoulder.

He’s like a furnace most days and it doesn’t take long for my body to accept the heat to pull me into a sleep.

“Sophie said she wants to celebrate our getting married,” I tell Nate with my eyes closed.

Nate’s chest shakes with a suppressed laugh and a snort. “Do you think Sophie just wants an excuse for a party?”

“I didn’t think that at first, but now I do.” I throw my leg over Nate’s and burrow closer into him. “When I said Sophie wants to throw us a party, I mean she already planned it.”

“Of course she did. She probably had Bryce help.”

“He was on our group chat. Requested strippers. Naturally I had to decline.”

The volume on the TV turns down at the same time Sully’s snoring gets louder. I look over my shoulder to see her sprawled on her dog bed and snort-laugh before turning back to Nate.

“Naturally,” Nate whispers sarcastically.

“Did you know–” I’m cut off by a yawn, “that…”

“Sleep, Bee.” Nate tells me and kisses me on the top of my head.

I wake up an hour later. On the couch. Alone.

I hear voices coming from my front room and in my sleep-ridden brain, nothing is clicking.

I could use so much more sleep with my husband, but the universe apparently has other plans.

Stretching from my spot, I slowly sit up, yawning as I do.

I get up and quietly pad into the front room.

“Hey,” I say slowly when I see Nate with my sister and chosen family. He smiles at me and I walk over to him, sitting in his lap. “Why are you guys here?”

“So, J, when I said we were celebrating you two getting married…I meant tonight.” Sophie beams from where she’s sitting on the floor.

It’s then I noticed that they’re all dressed in going out clothes that she’s serious.

“But we were going to make dinner,” I pout and Nate kisses the side of my head.

“You two are cute,” Sarah observes. “But you can also make dinner another night. ”

I narrow my eyes at my husband’s publicist. “Like you wouldn’t be upset about your plans being derailed.”

Sarah opens her mouth to object when Nate and Riley burst out in laughter.

“Who says I can’t eat wherever we’re going?” Nate asks as he whispers in my ear.

My body heats all over and the sound of everyone’s chuckles hits me in the back of the head.

“You’re terrible.” I tell him and lick and tug his earlobe between my teeth, then turn back to the group.

“We’re in. Give us like thirty minutes to get ready.

” I slide off Nate’s lap and head for the stairs. “Kam, will you take Sully out?”

“As long as you wear something white!” she shouts from the couch.