Page 30 of Somewhere Only We Know (Healing in Cincy #4)

NATE

I don’t know what prompted me to take Jax to the gardens.

But in my mind, taking her places that brought her joy, the gardens, is the key to Jax becoming her again.

We walk through the casino and head towards the double-doors and I brace myself for the cool Vegas night air because it’s gotten chiller the later it gets.

Through the alcohol induced haze, I retrace our steps back to the Bellagio.

When we stopped to watch the water and light show, I kept my wits about me and looked around.

And seeing the Botanical Gardens sign felt like fate.

“Here again?” Jax asks skeptically when we get closer to the fountains.

Still holding her hand, I turn and walk backwards. “Not quite.”

Jax starts to drag her feet. “Nate, where are we going?”

“Do you trust me?”

She hesitates and I’d be hurt if I didn’t know the reason.

I hurt her. Left her. So she has every reason to balk at my question.

I give her hand a light squeeze to let her know it’s okay if she doesn’t fully trust me.

With a lot of work on my end, I do hope that one day I can get her trust back.

Jax gives me a small nod and I have to tamp down the urge to throw my hands up in victory like I hit a walk-off Grand Slam.

I take a tentative step backwards and drag her along with me. Seeing the smile teasing at the corner of her lips has mine threatening to take full formation.

When the sign for the Botanical Gardens comes into view, I see recognition fall on Jax’s face. And maybe a bit of sorrow? It has me worried that I’m way overstepping. I don’t know if she’s been to one since college, I know I haven’t.

“Nate…”

“Trust me?” I ask softly again. When Jax meets my eyes, I let out a breath when she nods.

Wordlessly we walk up the pathway and through the sliding doors.

This is one of the most iconic hotels in Vegas and I’m slightly upset our group isn’t staying here.

Jax and I navigate our way to the Gardens, which isn’t on as large of a scale as the one in Philly, but still holds a bit of nostalgia for the both of us.

With it getting later into the night, it’s thankfully not as busy as reported so Jax and I take our time walking through the exhibit.

Stepping foot in here, it’s like I could see the weight of the past lift off of her and witness joy take its place.

I’ve followed her around, like I used to, as she explored, taking pictures of flowers and the themes, while my eyes have never left her.

If I had my camera, the lens would have had her as my main subject.

We get to the end of the exhibit and take in what we saw. The quiet was one of the reasons I wanted to bring her here. It seems Jax thrives in areas where she can get her bearings.

“Where to now?” She asks as if I had a grand plan all along. I didn’t. But it’s nice that she’s looking at me like this instead of like an enemy .

I shove my hands in my front pockets and lazily shrug. “The rooftop?”

“Okay,” Jax agrees nervously and looks around for the elevator bay.

I point to the opposite side of the lobby and we head that direction. Our steps are both lighter having been paired up for the last handful of hours. When we file into the elevator, we take up opposite sides and I watch as Jax leans her head back and closes her eyes.

“Are you okay?” I ask, mildly concerned that she’s about to display her dinner.

“Mm hmm,” she responds without opening her eyes. “Just not a fan of elevators going this high.”

“Since when?” I ask. If I can keep her mind off the small car taking us up ten stories, I’ll do anything.

“Since forever. I’ve always had this weird fear of the elevator stopping and plummeting to the ground. What a morbid way to go, huh?”

“Well, I didn’t have that fear until now.”

She peaks an eye open and looks at me with a grimace. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be. Tell me another fear.”

“Waking up and realizing I’ve missed out on big moments because I’m scared.”

I look at Jax. And really look at her. The hard swallow, the tenseness in her jaw, how her shoulders cave inward–what happened to her?

“The Jax I knew wasn’t scared of anything.”

Her eyes blink open and she tilts her head down so we’re looking at each other. “The Jax you knew, had you by her side.”

I open my mouth to tell her that I never left, when the doors open. But the truth still stands that I did leave her.

“1, 2, 3, 4, I declare a thumb war.” Jax says this round.

We’ve been playing this childhood game, but made it adult with alcohol, for the past hour. And for every game one loses, they take a shot. So far we’re tied. Plus, we’ve been asking each other questions so it’s not been too bad of a time.

“My favorite color is still yellow, but it verges on shades of pink now and again,” Jax says.

I pause our game by tucking my thumb and looking her outfit up and down.

“Okay, besides this outfit. Untuck your thumb,” she scolds with a smile.

“When did you add black to your wardrobe?” Her tongue peeks out as she tries to maneuver my hand. “Don’t cheat.”

“I’m not.” She tells me guiltily. “Um, probably a few months after we moved to Cincinnati and Kamryn’s designs really started to take off.

She was getting ready for a date with Mason and came up with the idea of doing an entire line of black clothes, just because she wanted to and somehow every piece from that line ended up in my closet. Ugh.”

I smile as I pour a shot for her to take. We’ve almost gone through this bottle of tequila and I’m wondering if we’ll need another or if we should switch to water soon.

Jax slaps her hand in mine and I count us off.

“Least favorite food?” she asks this time.

My thumb flexes to trap hers but she dodges it. “Um, brussels sprouts.”

Jax laughs at my distaste for the vegetable. “Fair.”

I look at her sitting between my legs and smile at how far we’ve come. Jax never liked big crowds. Save for baseball games, so tonight was a lot. But getting her one-on-one has done wonders for her opening up to me.

“I’m not big on vegetables.”

“Still?” she asks.

It’s weird the things we remember when something manages to jog our memory. Jax remembering that I’m not a big fan of vegetables is that one thing that continues to spark the flame of hope.

“You sound like my mom and Kayla,” I pout.

“Don’t pout,” Jax scolds, “besides, don’t you need the veggies to be a big, strong baseball player?”

“You’ve been checking me out?” I ask and groan when she moves her thumb at the last second.

“I didn’t say that. Yes!” She cheers as she pins my thumb down.

My hand falls to my lap as she pours the next shot, effectively emptying the bottle.

“Bottom’s up, Natey.”

I smirk and wink at her before taking the shot.

My eyes don’t leave hers once as I swallow down the liquid gasoline.

When I place the shot glass down, Jax leans forward and presses her mouth to mine.

Blame it on the alcohol, but my mind glitches for a second before I’m reaching for her.

I tangle my hands in her soft hair and tilt her head, swallowing her moan when I lick into her mouth.

Kissing Jax is like hitting a walk-off grand slam in the bottom of the ninth inning with two outs and the bases loaded in the World Series.

I never want this feeling to end.

I pull her onto my lap and keep her sideways, because we’re still in public after all and she’s wearing a skirt.

I kiss Jax like my life depends on it and it seems she’s doing the same.

The little moans she makes as her hands fist my sweater, pulling me closer than I already am, and my arms wind around her like ivy, eliminating every inch of space has me wanting to maneuver her so her legs bracket my waist. Cheering from the rooftop is like cold water poured on top of us.

I slow the kiss down. Alternating between lingering kisses and pecking her top and bottom lips.

When I pull back, her eyes are still closed in concentration and I see the lipstick I hoped would smudge, did just around the edges. Using my thumb, I wipe the color off her skin while she watches me with those honey brown eyes.

“How drunk are you?” I ask, breaking the bubble.

“Not drunk at all.” She tells me.

“Are you up for a walk?”

Wordlessly she nods and I shift her off my lap, helping her to stand and adjusting her skirt.

Our bottle was already paid for so we head back to the elevator.

Jax isn’t as tense on the ride down. Could be the alcohol or the kiss still playing on a loop in her head.

I know it is for me. When the doors open, I hold my hand out for her to take, giving her the option to follow or stray.

My cheek twitches when she takes my hand and links our fingers together.

Look at me. Getting giddy that I’m holding her hand.

Pushing out to the street, I walk us to the curb where I flag down a cab. I’m all for walking but that would take us over an hour. When a car stops, I open the door for Jax and slide in after her.

“Where to?” the driver asks.

“Fremont Street Experience, please.”

I sit back in the seat as we’re whisked away. Some could say I’m doing this to win over Jax. And they’d be right. But I’m also doing this for me to live out the wild tales that I never got to experience because of baseball .

“Where is it we’re going?” Jax asks softly.

“A place I think you’re going to have a lot of fun at.”

“You mean the rooftop wasn’t fun?”

I lean over and kiss along her neck. Just light kisses before placing one by her ear and I don’t miss the light whimper that escapes. “Anywhere with you is fun.”

I sit back in my seat and wrap my arm around her shoulder.

Jax relaxes into me and wraps an arm around my thigh.

Blood rushes through my ears at the contact because apparently I’ve never been touched before and this sort of contact gives me tingly feelings.

I watch the lights blur by until our driver slows down.

“Here you go.” He says and pulls over to the curb.

Once we pay and get out, we just stand on the sidewalk. Neon lights illuminate the street and those in its vicinity.

“What do we do first?” Jax asks and I look down at her. Her face is the definition of awe as the lights bounce off of her face. Like this is her first true living experience. Then again, maybe it is if what I’ve heard from her sister is any indication.

“Get a drink and then walk around?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

Together Jax and I experience this side of Vegas that’s full of joy.

I watch her laugh more times tonight than I have since she waltzed back into my life.

We watch another light show and a live performance.

We dance and sing, drink more and eat a little bit of food.

This version of Jax is the one I’ve been waiting to see.