Page 24 of Somewhere Only We Know (Healing in Cincy #4)

JAX

COLLEGE, NOVEMBER, SENIOR YEAR

N ate’s body is dead weight on mine as I read the latest book in a trilogy I’ve been anxiously waiting for while he sleeps.

What we must look like with a man almost a foot taller than me covering my body like a weighted blanket.

I have an actual blanket thrown over us and with my balcony door wide open letting in the November air, I’m more comfortable than I’ve ever been.

We’ve been in different study groups for the last two weeks preparing for finals and with it finally being Thanksgiving break, we both have a chance to relax before our actual finals begin.

But with Nate now firm on his decision to enter the draft, his workouts have been bumped up to two a day.

So this moment, with him laying on me, is the first time we’re able to spend uninterrupted time with each other without him having to run off to train.

I place a light kiss on his forehead and finish up this last chapter. I’m putting my book to the side when he stirs.

“Has anyone ever told you you’re cute when you sleep?” I ask softly .

He makes a mumble of protest at me calling him ‘cute’ and burrows his face into the crook of my neck. “I’m so tired.”

“I know. Just think–this is just a tiny taste of what you’ll get when you’re a super famous and successful baseball player.”

Nate snorts. “I don’t know about super famous. But definitely successful.”

“Hmm.” I hum and massage along his upper back. “Well, rest assured to know I’ll have your poster on my wall.”

“Just the one?”

“I think more than one of you on my wall would make me out to be a stalker?” I joke.

“A hot stalker,” Nate corrects at the same time a knock on my door sounds.

The door creeps open and my mom pops her head in. “Dinner is ready if you two are hungry.”

“Okay, we’ll be down in a little bit, Mom.” I tell her and she leaves with a knowing smile.

Nate and I make no immediate attempt to get up. I like laying with him like this. Where the world is silent and the moments are peaceful. It’s just us.

“Okay.” I start and begin to move from under him. “Let’s head down.”

Nate stops me and scoots his body up. “Kiss first.”

“How can I resist?”

“You ca–” I cut him off and press my lips to his.

I pull his bottom lip between my teeth and moan into him when his tongue slides into my mouth.

Nate grinds himself against my center and it takes my breath away.

He’s been very diligent in his lessons and we’ve still yet to go all the way.

But I want to. I’ve made that clear more times than I can count.

The pain–I think I can manage, because soon that’ll give way.

Nate hikes my leg over his arm and opens me up.

He swallows my whimper as he brushes against my clit.

My hands roam all over his body as I try to regain some power.

But it’s like we’re in a dance. Where one gives and one takes.

The power eventually comes back to me. I push back on him and he falls to the side before landing on his back.

My legs fall on either side of his waist and I drop back down to kiss him.

My hair curtains us as I lick into his mouth, claiming him as mine when his hands land on my waist and he pushes me down onto his stiff erection.

My body stutters as I feel his full length from this angle.

My hips move on their own as we continue to kiss.

Devouring each other like this is our first and last time.

“Jax, Nate! Dinner!” My mom shouts from the stairs.

I break our kiss like we’ve been caught and push up on Nate’s chest to catch my breath. It doesn’t do well that I put my full weight on his cock and I watch Nate’s eyes flare.

“Hungry?” I ask.

“Mm hmm. Just need a minute,” he tells me.

I give him another kiss on the lips before rolling off him. My phone buzzes on my nightstand and I see it’s a text from my sister.

Kammy: Miss you.

Me: I miss you!

Me: You know you live like twenty minutes away.

Kammy: I know. Things are weird with Liam.

Me: All the more reason to come home.

Me: But hopefully you two work it out.

I put my phone back on the charger when Nate slides off the bed. He’s mostly composed himself and while the sweats are a good choice, they’re definitely not ideal when you have a girlfriend who wants nothing more than to jump his bones. Well…bone.

“Don’t look at me like that.” He chastises and leads me to the door with his hands on my shoulders.

“Like what?”

“Like you want me to fuck you so hard you forget your name,” he whispers into my ear and I stumble over one of Jersey’s toys, because yes I do. Nate laughs and holds me up. “In due time, Bee.”

“Will that be before I turn thirty?”

He smacks me on the butt and kisses me on the cheek.

Nate leaves me without an answer when he hops down the stairs.

At least he’s teaching me something , I say to myself as I trail after him and to the kitchen to serve my plate.

I’m especially grateful that my parents let him stay here during breaks.

They were lax with Kamryn, so I didn’t expect much pushback from them.

But they surprised me my first year when they said I could have a friend from college stay here if they were from out of town.

Guess they never expected that friend to be a boy.

My parent’s boisterous laughter greets us as we walk into the kitchen.

From day one they’ve been the prime example of the love that I want.

They met in college, got engaged when they graduated, married two years later, and have been married for almost thirty years.

That’s what I want. And I feel like I’m close to getting it.

Nate and I fix our burgers and add fries to our plate before joining my parents.

My dad and Nate talk about the upcoming baseball season and I’m glad my dad has another person to talk about the sport with.

His go-to was Liam, but with the way his future hasn’t panned out the way he wanted, their talks have significantly decreased.

I have to hand it to my dad for being emotionally aware of others' struggles. He doesn’t push, but I know he was hurt when Liam stopped coming by for their monthly catch-up.

“Nate, are you ready for winter break?” My mom asks once we’ve all finished eating and can’t find it in us to clean up.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

On the outside, I’m as happy as a clam that Nate is going home to spend time with family. On the inside, I’m selfish that I want him to stay here. When he gets back our time will be more limited. And while I know I’m with him for the long haul, I don’t want to miss any more time with him.

“You’re still entering the draft?” My dad asks with pride beaming behind his eyes.

“That’s the plan.”

After the sixth month of bringing Nate around, my parents got sick of him addressing them as Ma’am and Sir, despite it being a huge sign of respect.

So now he calls them by their first names, speaks directly to them, or calls them Mom and Dad.

Which if that’s not the best sign of our future that they accept him calling them that, then I don’t know what is.

A throat lightly clearing from across the table pulls my attention to my mom who’s giving me a knowing smile.

I haven’t told her much about my feelings for Nate as I’m not as open about my relationship like my sister is.

But from the look she’s giving me, I know she knows how I feel.

It’s strange that Nate and I haven’t uttered those three words.

But we haven’t needed to as with every look, every touch, and every moment spent together has said more than those words needed to.

My mom announces that it’s getting late and I volunteer us to clean up.

“I wash, you dry?” I ask Nate as I turn towards him before standing up. I gather my moms dishes while Nate gathers my dads.

I turn the water on to hot and get to washing. Nate and I work as a well-oiled machine to get everything cleaned and wiped down.

“You’re quiet.” He notes and hands me the dish towel to dry my hands.

“I love you.” I blurt out and meet his brown eyes unashamedly. “I know we haven’t said it, because personally, I don’t think we’ve needed to. But I love you.”

Nate stands in front of me speechless until a smile blooms on his angular face. “I love you too, Bee.” He frames my face and angles it up so we’re eye-to-eye. “Will you tell me why you were so quiet?”

“Because I’m scared,” I admit.

Nate shocks me by picking me up and putting me on the counter. He steps in between my thighs and gives me his full, undivided attention. “Scared of what, J?”

“Of saying those words. I’ve loved you as a friend for longer than us being a couple.” I say and fiddle with the strings of his hoodie. “Plus, with baseball–”

“Hey, we’ll make the long-distance, if that’s what it comes to, work. I’m not losing you.” He tells me and I feel his eyes all over my face.

“Okay.”

“Now, if we’re done down here, let’s go to bed.”

I nod and a smile curves my cheeks as Nate turns around and taps his back. The silent message is clear and I climb onto his back.

“The air is so much clearer up here,” I joke as he turns toward the stairs.

He snorts and easily walks up the stairs with me like a backpack. “It is a wonder how you can reach anything.”

“That’s why I picked you.” I tease and kiss along his neck.

Sometimes it’s laughable to see us standing next to each other. Nate’s 6’2 towers over my 5’2, but the love we have for each other surpasses both of our heights.

Nate snorts. “Is that the only reason?”

“No. I also picked you because you’re younger than me and will stay limber longer.”

Nate laughs and drops me on my bed. “By two months ya goof. Doesn’t quite make you a cougar.”

I slide off the bed and trail after him with a laugh to the bathroom and we go through a nightly routine to get ready for bed.

Nate joins me moments later and we lay facing each other.

My room is swathed in darkness, save for the moon that shines through a sliver in the blackout curtains.

But my eyes adjust and I’m able to make out Nate looking at me with a soft smile on his face.

Tonight I told him I love him and my heart hasn’t stopped racing.

Those three words are terrifying to tell someone, but knowing he feels the same way eases the nervous feeling.

“For better or worse, it’s you and me Jax,” Nate declares after moments of silence and us looking at each other.

My heart leaps at him saying those words and I reach out to trace his lips. “Those are–”

“Words you say in wedding vows? I know. It helps that I know there is no one else for me but you. So I say those four words and I’ll always mean them. ”

Yep. I totally love him.

“For better or worse, it’s you and me, Jax,” Nate says.

“For better or worse.” I tell him and close the few inches of space and press my lips to his. I don’t take it further than this and he doesn’t press. When I pull back, I curl into him and let his heartbeat lull me to sleep.