Page 32 of Somewhere Only We Know (Healing in Cincy #4)

NATE

COLLEGE, DECEMBER, SENIOR YEAR

I toss on my beanie before I step out of the Empire School of Design and into the cold December afternoon.

The weather has been calling for snow for the last week and it seems that today is the day.

Light snow falls from the sky but not enough to stick just yet.

My last final of the semester is done. Now I need to buckle down and get my senior project in motion.

The house I’m designing is coming to shape and with the little details Jax has talked about they’ve made the blueprints all the more real.

I’m planning to spend a week with Jax and then spend the rest of my break back home before coming back up here for our final semester.

Jax and I have gotten used to my coming and going during the holidays.

But it still doesn’t make it any easier.

Jax does her best to hide her feelings regarding me going back home, but like the trooper she is she doesn’t voice a thing. That’s what makes her perfect for me.

I shake off the snow and trudge to my dorm.

My roommate, who is on the golf team and rarely in our shared room, is all packed up and already headed back to his hometown.

Do I know where that is? No. And that makes me a terrible roomie.

My goal is for us to at least be friendly with each other next semester. Better late than never.

Me: Packing up and then I’ll head to your house.

Jax:

Less than an hour later and I’m headed to Jax’s house. The snow has continued a steady fall. Big, fat snowflakes fall faster and I’m a bit worried that we’ll get snowed in.

“Hi, baby,” I hear from Jax when I close the door and I see her standing on the stairs.

“Hi, Bee.”

I am deliriously in love with this girl. She is my future.

“I have your Christmas present.” Jax tells me as she hops up and down with barely contained excitement. One thing about my girl is that she loves giving gifts. I think she likes others to feel joy.

“Can I guess what it is?” I ask and step closer to where she’s standing on the stairs.

She shakes her head and rests her arms on my shoulders. “Nope. Go put your stuff away and then I’ll give it to you.”

“Okay.” I lean forward and peck her on the lips before moving around her and up the stairs and dropping my stuff right inside of her room.

“Did your stuff even land on the floor before you sprinted back down here?” Jax asks with a laugh.

“Nope.” I proudly say and drop onto the couch next to her. The fireplace has warmed the sunroom and the large bay windows let in all of the natural light, bathing Jax in a soft glow .

She grabs a rectangular box from the coffee table and places it in my waiting hands. I try to shake it but nothing moves. My eyes flick up to hers before I’m tearing the wrapper off.

It’s a picture. I can’t even describe in my mind what or how she did it. On it is the baseball field with the Botanical Gardens in the background. It’s us. And in perfectly written cursive is ‘Somewhere Only We Know’.

“Jax, this is–”

“It’s us,” she finishes for me.

“Yeah, Bee. It’s us.” And it is. It’s where all of our big moments happened, where big feelings were felt, and where life changing decisions were made. “I love it.”

With my birthday in September and Christmas a few months behind, I told Jax only one present.

Not that I need anything from her, because being with her is the only gift I need.

But her tendency to spoil those she loves knows no bounds so I know that me putting a limit on what she could get me probably angered her.

“Merry Christmas, Natey.”

“Thank you, Bee.”

Jax cuddles into my side and we watch the snow fall as it blankets the backyard turning it into a winter oasis. Moments like these, the quiet ones where we can just be, are ones that mean more than any championship or big accomplishment.

“It’s hard to believe we have a few more months of college left,” Jax breathes out.

“I know. Pretty soon we’ll be wishing for the structure of a class schedule,” I tease.

Her body shakes with a laugh. “No way.”

I kiss the top of her head and pull her closer than she already is. “I am ready for the future with you. ”

“Yeah,” she whispers. “Me too.”

I zip up my suitcase and turn to the brown-eyed beauty with sleep-filled eyes watching me get ready to leave.

This is our last school break separation and if we can survive this, then baseball season and what comes after will be a breeze.

I crawl back up on the bed and lay out on Jax.

Her legs wrap around my waist and her arms loop around my shoulders as she lays kisses all over my face.

“Last break.” I say and lean up on my elbows. I wrap a curl around my finger and let it slowly unravel.

“These few weeks better go by faster than light.”

I know Jax still gets nervous when I head home. But she plays it off because she knows how important it is for me to spend time with family.

“I’ll be back before you know it,” I say to ease her worry. “Now kiss me so I have something to hold me over for the next few weeks.”

Jax lifts her head and erases the bit of distance between us.

I breathe into this kiss, letting it fuel me.

Her tongue licks at my bottom lip and pulls it between her teeth, sucking it between her lips and then plunging her tongue into my mouth.

A groan travels up my throat and I hook an arm under her leg, opening her up to me and rolling my hips into her clothed center.

We kiss and roll our bodies into each other until we’re panting and moaning.

Jax claws at my clothes, pushing her hands under my shirt, signaling she wants this to go further.

But it can’t. And not before I’m about to leave.

I break the kiss and trail kisses down her neck, bringing us both down. Because I don’t want us to part like this. Dropping her leg from my arm, I wrap my arms around her and sit up, flipping our positions so she’s in my lap.

“You’re good at that,” Jax says breathlessly. Her curly hair is wild from my fingers and her lips are swollen from my kiss. It’s a picture every man loves to see. It’s a picture I’d love to look at everyday: Jax ruined by me.

“Soon you’ll know what else I’m good at.” I tell her. With baseball and then midterms and then finals, that part of our relationship did not progress. It could have. But I wanted more than a quick session with Jax.

“You are the biggest tease ever.”

A smile spreads across my face. It’s not that I enjoyed waiting, far from it. But I am all about timing and it has never been right for us.

Jax looks over my shoulder and her body deflates. I know that means it’s time for me to head out. She kisses me one last time and crawls off her bed.

“Three weeks and then I’m back.” I say when we’re standing next to my car. The snow disappeared the next day but it was good for me to see it as the beach doesn’t get a ton.

“I love you.”

I kiss her on the top of her head and wrap my arms tighter around her. “I love you too, Bee.”

Jax winds her arms tightly around me and I do my best to soothe her when I feel her body tremble from the sobs she’s suppressing. With a final kiss, I hop in the car and drive away from the curb.

I made good time on my drive and pull into the driveway just after five. Grabbing my suitcase from the trunk, I head in through the front door and set my bag by the stairs .

“Dad?” I call out as I walk through the foyer and towards the kitchen for something to eat. The TV is blaring which is normal because Dad always has the TV volume up to an obscene level. I don’t see anyone in the living room, so I move to the remote when I see him face down on the floor. “Dad!”

I curse gravity as it slows me from slamming into the floor. Carefully, I flip him onto his back and check his pulse. It’s there, but weak.

Fumbling for my phone and almost dropping it in the process, I dial 911 and tell them what happened and our address.

I give him chest compressions, because that’s the only thing I can think to do. In all of the preparation my parents gave me for Kayla, they never prepared me to have to use life-saving measures on them.

I hear the sirens pull up but I don’t stop.

“Hello?” I hear someone, I’m assuming a paramedic, call out.

“In here!” I yell. “Come on, Dad. Wake up.”

Footsteps coming closer alert me that help is here.

A hand touches my shoulder and I flinch.

Not pulling away until someone drags me away.

My body feels like it’s no longer mine. Like I’m no longer tethered to this space.

That gut feeling I had over the summer was right. Why? Why would he hide this from me?

“My partner has him,” one of the medics tells me. “What’s your name?”

I know I’m only being asked for legalities sake, but I could care less about myself. “Nate.”

“Okay, Nate. I’m assuming this is your Dad?” I nod in lieu of a response. “Can you tell me what happened? How long was he like this? ”

“I–I don’t know. I just got home from Pennsylvania,” I tell the medic and feel completely helpless.

“Okay. How old is your Dad?”

“Uh. He just turned fifty-five.”

“Any underlying health issues? Concerns?”

“I was home over the summer,” even to my own ears my voice is monotone, “and he was having a coughing fit. He brushed it off.”

“Okay. That’s good to know.”

I grab dads hand as they continue to look him over. I’m angry. That’s the feeling I settle on. My parents want me to be a grownup, but when it comes to their problems, they treat me like a child. But I’m also scared.

“Nate, we’re gonna have to take your Dad to the hospital.”

The color leeches from my face. “What?”

“It’s standard and since your Dad is still unconscious, it’s protocol.”

I feel like I’m gonna be sick . “Can I come with?”

The paramedic gives me a sympathetic smile. “Of course.”

In a daze, I stand back as my dad is loaded onto a stretcher and follow them out to the ambulance. I feel helpless.