Page 135 of Sixty Meters Under

“I… I…”

Lennart massaged the bridge of his nose. “Of course. Now it’s all clear.”

“I have never told Anna. Never. And I never will.”

“At least that.”

Hugo was in love with Anna, although it was one-sided. Anna reminded him of his deceased wife he had lost long ago. And since he didn’t have children, Hugo looked at Anna and her boys like they were his own family.

“And you claimed you were Dad’s good friend.”

“I was his best friend.”

Lennart smiled bitterly and shook his head. “Even better.”

There was a heavy silence when Liam spoke up, “So what’s now?”

“We will keep this a secret from Mom. She can’t find out,” Lennart said. “And I mean all this.” He waved his hand to indicate the video footage.

“No one will pull this information out of me,” Liam pressed his right hand to his heart.

“I will take this secret with me to the grave,” Hugo added and noticed that Lennart avoided looking him in the eye.

Lennart took a deep breath and rubbed his face with both his palms, saying, “You’re dismissed.” And he turned back to the screens.

→

Lennart stared ahead, the video on the screen frozen.

So it was Mom. My mother all along.

He hit play once again.

His mother looked distracted. Even before Scarlett approached the bar she seemed out of her skin. At first glance it wasn’t noticeable, but she had moments when she acted out of touch with reality. Lennart remembered the day Hugo found her on the floor.

She never told me she had side effects. She obviously had them the night Scarlett died.

Lennart supported his head with his hand.

What should I do? I certainly can’t tell her she caused Scarlett’s death.

Lennart remembered how his mother felt when someone from her patients died in the hospital.

I can’t. I can’t tell her. She won’t forgive herself. And she obviously doesn’t feel well, even when she’s trying to appear strong.

A few minutes before midnight, Lennart collapsed on his couch. He knew he would not be able to sleep that night, but he had neither the will nor the strength to do anything else. He rolled from side to side hoping he would be able to at least relax a little. He thought about going into Ryosuke’s room, but feared he might wake him up as it was late. He secretly wished Ryosuke to come, but that wasn’t happening.

A few minutes later, he heard the sound of the door opening. Quiet footsteps found their way to his couch. Lennart lay still and waited to see what would happen next.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and a soft voice. “Are you sleeping?”

Recognizing it’s Ryosuke’s voice, Lennart grabbed his hand. “Come here.”

Ryosuke climbed on the couch and settled on the edge. Lennart wrapped his hands around Ryosuke, pulled him to his chest and nuzzled his face into his hair. He inhaled his scent and felt his tension subside.

This feels so good. I have never felt like this in my whole life.Lennart shut his eyes tight.

I want you forever, even when you don’t feel the same.