Page 60 of Saving the Rain
“How is Kayce? I miss seeing his pretty blue eyes.” Tessa coos at the horse and strokes his nose when we stop in front of her.
“As good as can be expected.” Goddamn. I really, really do not want to be talking aboutKayce Wilderor hiseyesright now. I unwrap the reins from my fist and then wrap them again. “He bounced back well enough that he’s able to work again. So here I am.”
Jesus, even just saying the words out loud brings on a rush of memories from the past few days. Everything pops up, so vivid andfresh, sitting right there, ready to remind me of the most reckless thing we could possibly have done. We shouldneverhave crashed across those lines. Yet, all I can think of is how soft his lips were and the desperation in his little noises... the way he responded to everything in just the way I like.
And I can’t keep fucking dwelling on that fact.
“Anytime you need to go help him, just shout.” Tessa’s fingers glide along Mist’s neck, and I’m struggling to stop from shifting uncomfortably. Fighting an inner battle not to give her any indication that I know what it looks like when my stepbrother climaxes from simply grazing his prostate.
“Won’t be necessary.” My words are like chalk in my mouth.
“Well, our sweet city girl, Briar, had her bottom lip dragging along the floor yesterday when she realized you were due back. She and Storm would return tomorrow if you asked.”
“I can’t keep walking off the job, Tessa.”
She gives a little tinkling laugh. “Look... I know you’ve been doing your lone wolf routine forever and a day, but here’s the thing about Beau; my brother is all about taking care of what needs to be taken care of.” Her inquisitive eyes drift over me while I study the patch of dirt my boot heel is grinding down on. “He’s gonna be the first one to tell you to get your ass back up the top of that mountain if Kayce so much as develops a sniffle.”
Why that makes my chest tighten—why the prospect of going back up there and seeing him again leaves me with a strange swirling in my gut—I don’t want to examine. This is madness, and what we did was obviously the result of being out of our minds. Wherever all those heightened emotions and pure, carnal need to experience something on Kayce’s end came from... I can’t pause to examine.
It’s too dangerous to let that particular spark catch light.
“That’s very generous of him, but what about the guests... the trail rides.” This conversation needs to be over, and I just need to get my ass back to the barn so I don’t have to continuetalkingabout anything.
“Chaos is all over it.” She stifles a yawn and gives the horse a finalpat. “That man could charm angels into handing over their wings. Probably their little angelic panties, too.”
“Right, well... I’m gonna go figure out what needs to be done since I’m sure Prince Charming hasn’t been doing my damn bookwork for me, has he?” With a grunt and dip of my chin, I leave Tessa chuckling, confirming my exact suspicions as she makes her way back inside.
The rest of the day goes past in a blur. A kind of rhythm and routine that I’ve come to feel in my bones. And the entire time, my mind keeps straying back to the top of that goddamn mountain. Physically, I might be here, handling saddles, filling water buckets, and checking on the new horses to see how they’re acclimatizing to the stables. Mentally, I’m somewhere else entirely.
Devil’s Peak Ranch.
My teeth grind at the unpleasant realization that Kayce has managed to embed himself in my awareness once again. It took me years to fully shake off thoughts of him after leaving. No matter how far I traveled, or the remoteness of the wilderness I found myself on horseback rounding up cattle in... he followed me around. In those early years, he’d managed to worm his way into my thoughts unbidden.
Eventually, I was able to move the fuck on with my life and stop having any shred of care or concern forKayce Wilder.
So this unexpected collision course we’ve found ourselves on... yeah, that shit is done. I can dust my palms off and move on. I’m leaving Crimson Ridge soon. This was only ever a temporary gig, and I certainly don’t need to hold his hand while he figures his life out.
That look in his eyes was so adamant—the utter terror when he stammered and gasped, pink-cheeked and flushed-lipped—it left no doubt he believed what we were doing was something to be ashamed of.
He got the message across loud and clear that night. We should never talk about it. No one can ever know.
Ain’t that the fucking truth.
I’ve had to protect Kayce for too long. I’ve had to physically put myself in the way and take punches that my father would have dealtto him, or his mom, if I hadn’t stepped in his path first. If I didn’t purposely start shit to keep his focus off them, then who knows what damage he might have caused.
I’d been there and seen it all. He couldn’t hurt me any worse than he’d already done when I was growing up. All alone in that house with just a sick bastard who couldn’t handle the fact my mom had been ripped away in a car accident.
Life doesn’t treat you kind, and the fact they walked into our lives that day—the fact Kayce’s mom unknowingly married a sadistic prick—meant that I had to carry the weight of saving them from their own stupid decision.
They should have stayed away.
At least now, Kayce is back on his feet. He’s capable and certainly goddamn big enough to look after himself. Even though it feels like I always have to be there to take the hits, wear the black eyes, and suffer the body blows to shield him from the worst of the worst... that time is over.
He’s gotta figure out things, and clearly nothing we did meant anything.
It’s just a moment in time.
One that I’m moving the fuck on from.