Page 38 of Remiss

“Megan—”

“You didn’t even tell me about the rectory burning down.”

“I been a motherfucker, baby. I’m so fuckin’ sorry for whatever I did you.”

“Dad knows he should’ve clued you in, Mom,” Ryder blurted, glaring at Dad. “We do, too. We’re sorry. Come home. We miss you. Please. We love you. We’ll cook and clean up with Bishop and Kaia to save you some work. And tell Axel we won’t ever put him out of our room again.”

“Just come home, Mom,” Ransom called. “I-I-I had another nightmare tonight. A bad one. I saw Nyx’s ghost—”

Ryder shoved Ransom at the blatant lie.

“Aunt Meggie?” Diesel called.

As much pain as CJ was in, he saw Diesel’s vulnerability and defeat. He couldn’t imagine how Diesel felt, given his history.

“Yes, son?”

“The house isn’t the same without you,” Diesel said. “It’s…our heart is gone. We’re so sorry for hurting you.”

“And taking you for granted,” Bishop called.

“I’ll work for free, Mrs. Caldwell,” Kaia said morosely. “And I-I’ll learn to mop.”

“Megan, baby, we all love you so fuckin’ much,” Dad said, “and you my fuckin’ world. I lost my way a little fuckin’ bit and made you feel as if…as if you ain’t my everything. Just cuz I expect you to know that don’t give me the fuckin’ right to treat you any kinda way. Or blame you for shit that was my fault, too. I just been so fuckin’ angry with you cuz of the way you changed. And I wouldn’t give a fuck if you ain’t changed toward me, too. But you my heart, my soul, and my conscience. I need you. I need that. I need you to…to…”

“To what?” she demanded. “Tell you not to kill? Convince you people shouldn’t die? Why?Youknow. Why should that matter when nothing else I say matters to you?”

“Everything you say matter, Megan,” Dad said woefully. “Just tell me what to do. I’m so fuckin’ lost right now.”

“Take care of your club, Christopher,” Mom said tiredly. “Show the boys the ropes without my interference.”

“No, Mom!” Ryder cried. “We don’t care about the club.” He swung his frantic gaze to CJ. “Tell her. Tell her you don’t want to join the club right now, CJ.”

He opened his mouth to speak those words. He wanted Mom home so badly, he wished he had the power to will her back. But just like when Dad threatened to kick him out, CJ felt as if his insides were caving in and his entire future had collapsed.

“Mom,” CJ started, his voice catching.

“It’s fine, son,” Mom said. “You were raised to be a part of the club and I’ve already told you that I expect nothing less from you.”

“Megan, baby, I shoulda told you about Rule,” Dad said before CJ found words to respond. “And I…you know I ain’t givin’ Gunner and Jo away. Just come home. If you want me tosleep outside for the rest of the year,forever, just please, baby, please. Whatcha want me to do? Anything. Whatever the fuck it is. I love you. Please, come home.”

“I’ll think about it,” she said, and disconnected, leaving everyone in stunned silence.

Mortician’s ringing phone peeled through the silence of the clubhouse but he ignored it, unable to handle another crisis. Despite the crowd and the early morning hour, everyone sat in a shocked stupor. After he’d seen to Digger, Mortician hurried to join the search for Meggie, fanning out in all directions. If they found her, they’d find the other women and girls, but it was like they’d fallen from the face of the earth.

Before they went on their desperate exploration, Mort went to his house, half expecting to find Bailey. She’d distanced herself from everyone, especially Meggie, so he thought she wouldn’t have left with them.

“I tried my best to stay out of it,” Val said, sitting to Mort’s left. “Why did Puff…?” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “I didn’t do nothing. My house so fucking empty without my baby there. Zoann just lightens my life. I don’t even got to see her.”

Mort’s heart went out to Val. He wanted to reassure him that their women would return, but he didn’t know if he’d speak the truth.

“Fucking Meggie!” someone in the crowd raged, a fucking bitter asshole who didn’t learn anything from Digger’s beating. “It’s her fault! She stole our bitches.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Cash called from Outlaw’s table. He’d been silent, arranging bottles of beer in a straight line. Even when he replaced an empty bottle and grabbed a fresh one, he didn’t fuck up the precision. “Fuck Outlaw!Hefucked with Meggie.”

“AccordingtoMeggie,” that same asshole growled.

“And CJ and Rebel and Diesel and Bishop,” Stretch said, glaring into the crowd. “Outlaw was stressed out but he was wrong. He knows it andweknow it.”