Page 32 of Playmaker

Cameron

Blinking my eyes open under the harsh fluorescent lights of the hospital room, I shield my face from the brightness, shifting in the uncomfortable chair for the umpteenth time since we arrived.

I carried Maddie for three miles, and because of that, every one of my muscles is in pure agony. With every movement I make, my body barks out in pain. This overexertion won’t help with my training, and if my dad finds out, I’ll be sure to get an earful.

Not that I care.

Not when Maddie whimpered and cried the entirety of the way back to the car. In those moments, I didn’t even feel the strain I was putting on my body. Adrenaline pushed it to the side, and it stayed that way until we got here and the doctors checked her out. She had to get multiple X-rays and imaging scans done, and when she finally got pain medicine and passed out, only then did I find the time to close my eyes and fall asleep.

Mud, sweat, and dirt stick to my skin. Thankfully, one of the nurses gave me a hospital gown since I was shirtless on the hike, and now Maddie and I look like a pair in matching outfits. I’d laugh if I wasn’t so plagued by exhaustion, concern, and downright panic as I scan the room for Ethan.

There are no signs of anyone else in the room, but I know better than to assume her family isn’t nearby. I called Richard and Mary as soon as we made it back to the car, and Ethan and Maya came to the emergency room with us. Ethan didn’t speak to me the entire ride, but with the adrenaline coursing through my veins I barely noticed. My only concern was making sure Maddie was okay.

But now, as I watch her sleeping, all the worry I pushed to the side creeps back in. Ethan found out about us, and he definitely wasn’t understanding or happy like I hoped he would be. Instead, he was everything I feared, and now I’m terrified I’ll have to make a choice between my best friend and the girl who is slowly but surely bringing me back to life.

I always thought if it came to this that I’d know who I’d choose. I would never choose a girl over my friendship with Ethan, but now . . .

I can’t imagine giving her up. I don’t even want to think about how lonely I’d be without her friendship and these intimate moments with her. She makes me a better person. She makes me want to believe I’m not the emotionless robot I think I am.

How am I supposed to let her go when I just got her back?

The curtain opens, pulling me from my thoughts, and Mary and Richard are standing there, each holding coffee cups. Mary holds an extra cup out to me, her eyes red rimmed and puffy from crying. “Figured you could use the caffeine,” she whispers.

Do they know?

Did Ethan tell them?

I want to ask, but given the events of today, I think better of it and bite my tongue. “Thank you,” I reply, gratefully taking the cup. “Did she wake up while I was out?”

“No,” Richard says. “She’s been out like a light from those pain meds.”

Mary places a hand over her heart, stifling a sob. “Thank you, Cameron. It could have been so much worse if you hadn’t carried her all that way. Ethan told us the details earlier, and I can’t imagine—” She sniffles, and Richard places his free hand on her lower back. “I can’t imagine how much effort that took, but just know we are so grateful.”

Richard nods in agreement. “And happy for you both.”

My brows fly to my hairline. “About what?”

“Don’t act naive,” Mary says with a watery smile. “Ethan may be upset, but that doesn’t mean we have to be. I’ve always known there was something between you two.”

“You’re not mad?”

Richard scoffs. “How can I be mad when you just carried her three miles to ensure she was okay? You’re already doing pretty damn well in my book.”

“You’ve always been a son to me,” Mary adds, tears in her eyes. “I couldn’t have chosen anyone better for her myself.”

What are the odds that Maddie’s parents accepted us against Ethan’s opinion? Then again, I didn’t attempt to hide this from his parents the same way I did to him. He knew there was a mystery girl, and rather than being up front and honest about it, I schemed my way around it. He has every right to be upset.

“That means a lot. I hope I don’t let you guys down.”

“You won’t,” Mary reassures me. “You never could.”

My eyes are burning when I look away from them and into the hallway, where Ethan is sitting on the floor with his legs stretched out in front of him. Maya is beside him, attempting to calm the anger that’s still written on his face, but it doesn’t seem to be doing any good. His arms are crossed tightly over his chest and his jaw is set in a firm line. Dirt smears his cheek, and the hair on the top of his head is disheveled. It wasn’t only me walking as fast as possible to the car, so I know they’re both exhausted too.

“He’ll come around,” Mary says, following my gaze.

As if he can sense us speaking about him, Ethan’s head lifts then his eyes meet mine, nothing but betrayal and fury staring back at me.

“I’m gonna go talk to him.” I rise to my feet, and Mary squeezes me tightly while Richard claps me on the back. “Wish me luck.”

“You won’t need it. We’re going to grab some dinner, but we wanted to stop by and drop off the coffee. Do you want us to bring you back anything to eat?”

“No, that’s all right. I’ll wait for Maddie to wake up and probably order something with her.”

After another crushing hug from Mary, I abandon my coffee cup on the makeshift desk in the room and step into the hallway. Maya takes the hint at the tense expression on my face and heads back into the room with Maddie, giving me a pat of encouragement before pulling the curtain closed behind her.

“Can I sit?”

He scoffs. “Oh, you’re asking me for approval now ?”

“Ethan, come on.” I sigh and slide down the wall to sit beside him, resting my head and turning to look at him. “I didn’t tell you because I was scared of this exact reaction from you.”

“Then why do it at all?” he shoots back.

“Are you really going to pretend you didn’t realize I had a crush on her too? It’s been obvious to everyone around us, including your parents, and they seem to be just fine with us dating.”

“Because they don’t know you, Cameron. The real you. You put on an act in front of them, but me? I witnessed firsthand the guy you became in high school. You’ve done nothing but fuck everything in sight with no regard for those girls’ feelings. And I get it, you’re emotionally scarred and have this fear of commitment, but I wouldn’t be a good brother if I said I was happy you’re messing around with my sister. Her definition of a crush and your definition of a crush mean two very different things.”

“And you’re any better?” Twisting to face him fully, I can feel my anger burning beneath the surface. “We’re the same people, Ethan. We both fucked around in high school and broke girls’ hearts, and you’re screwing around with Maya now. How is this any different? Don’t act like you’re a saint when we both —”

“I haven’t.” Ethan cuts me off, silencing my words before they leave my mouth. The sound of monitors beeping and nurses chatting at the station nearby fill the silence before he takes a deep breath and says, “I haven’t fucked. I’m a virgin. Well, I was until last night.”

A virgin .

No matter how many times I mentally repeat his words, they don’t sink in.

How the hell can he be a virgin ? I mean, he never went into details with me about the girls he claimed to sleep with, but I always assumed that was because he was uncomfortable speaking about it. I never thought he was lying to me.

Slowly, the sense of betrayal hits me too.

“I never told you because I felt like if I did, you wouldn’t want to be my friend anymore. That sounds stupid when I say it, but you were so different after your mom died, Cameron. We went from playing video games to you wanting to party and fuck every weekend, and I went along with it because I thought it was part of your healing process. But as time went on, you stayed the same, and telling you the truth became more intimidating.”

“ Why? What did you think was going to happen? You thought I’d make fun of you or something?”

“No, I thought you wouldn’t want to be my friend anymore. If you knew I didn’t like partying and fucking I was afraid you’d become more distant, and I didn’t want to lose you.”

“Ethan.” I shake my head, trying to come up with words but finding myself short. What am I supposed to say to that? The guilt and shame I’ve been carrying nearly doubles in size at the thought of disappointing yet another person in my life. How could he not feel comfortable enough to tell me that? Have I really changed to the point he thought I’d push him out of my life because he was a virgin?

“I’m sorry,” I admit, clearing my throat. “You’ve been such a good friend to me, Ethan, and I’ve been shit in return. I knew something was up with you, but I was selfish.”

“No, you weren’t selfish. You were dealing with losing your mom, and I understood that.”

“Then why didn’t you find new friends? I wouldn’t have expected you to put up with me. If you had explained, I might have tried to change, or—”

“You’re my brother.” He levels me with a look that makes a lump form in my throat. “No matter what happens, I’m with you, and if that means pretending to enjoy partying and creating imaginary girls to sleep with, I’d do it all again so you weren’t alone, because I know you’d do the same for me.”

“Fuck, man.” I swipe at a tear that’s escaped. “Of course I’d do the same for you, I’m just sorry it’s taken me so long to notice and get my head out of my ass. I’m going to be a better friend, though. I promise you.”

He sighs, resting his head against the wall. “That’s the thing. What I started with Maya? She’s it for me. I’ve been sure about her for a long time, but I was too scared to make a move because I didn’t think she’d be comfortable with the virginity thing. I’m happy to say I was wrong, but can you honestly say you’re certain about my sister? Can you promise me you won’t hurt her? I can’t stand by and let you play with her feelings like you have with all the rest. While I understand why you look for girls to use as an outlet, I’m not going to allow my sister to get her heart broken. We watched her go through that once already with Michael, and I’m not going to stand by only for it to happen again.”

“And I’d be lying to you if I told you with absolute certainty that I won’t hurt her. I’m fucked-up in a lot of ways, and you know it, but Maddie knows it, too, and I was honest with her from the very beginning about taking things slow between us. She’s been patient with me. If you’re looking for a definitive answer, I can’t give it, but one thing I can promise you? I’m trying my fucking hardest to be the guy she deserves, and she’s nothing like the rest. Not even close.”

“And if things don’t work out?” he asks. “What does that mean for us?”

“Nothing will change. Maddie knows how important our friendship is. She and I already had a falling out once, and were things a bit awkward? Sure, but you and I were still friends, right?”

“Do I even want to know why you guys stopped speaking for years?”

Telling him I gaslit Maddie and kicked her out of my house the day after my mom passed wouldn’t bode well for me, and I don’t think admitting we had snuck out during their family trip to Myrtle Beach would bode well for me either. While I fully intend on telling him the truth someday, this isn’t the right time.

“Probably not,” I admit. “But the important thing is that she and I are working through it, and it’ll be a hell of a lot easier if we have your blessing.”

I hold my breath as he contemplates, blinking at nothing until he finally closes his eyes and releases a heavy sigh. “ Please don’t make me regret this, but fine. I won’t stand in your way. Just be cautious, Cameron. She loves hard, and she’s a girl you don’t want to fuck up with.”

“Trust me, I’m aware.” Getting back on my feet, I extend a hand to help him up, relief blossoming in my chest. Her entire family is accepting of us now.

No more secrets.

No more hiding.

“Sorry about punching you,” he adds.

I shrug. “I deserved it. Sleeping with your little sister is a good reason.”

“For fuck’s sake,” he groans. “Did you have to remind me?” When he pushes the curtain open again, Maddie is sitting up analyzing the walking boot covering her foot, and as soon as she hears her brother’s voice, her eyes dart between us, noticing the smiles on both of our faces.

I give her a subtle nod that everything is worked out, and the grin she sends me in return tells me she’s loopy from the medicine but fucking adorable all the same. It makes me want to do everything in my power to keep it there.

“How are you feeling?” I ask, easing into the chair beside her. My body screams in protest, and right now the only thing I want to do is step into a hot shower or bask in the hot tub for the rest of the night.

“Better.” She frowns, reaching over to rub my nose. “You’re bruised and swollen. Why haven’t you put any ice on it?”

“You can’t seriously be worried about me ,” I deadpan, sending a pointed look to her walking boot. “I’ll be fine, Mads. I’ve taken a hit to the face a lot, given my profession.”

She glares at her brother. “You’re still an idiot for doing that in the first place.”

“I was looking out for you,” he replies.

“Well, you’re doing a shitty job at it.”

Maya rises to her feet, smiling tightly at Ethan. “How about we go grab some food? We can meet your parents down in the cafeteria.”

“Fine,” he says after a second. The tension between Ethan and me seems to have transferred to him and his sister. “We’ll be back in an hour or so.”

When the curtain shuts behind them, leaving us alone, I scoot my chair closer and brush a stray curl away from her face. “You scared the hell out of me today.”

“Trust me, I scared myself enough for the both of us. I don’t think I’ll ever climb rocks again.” Fussing with the edge of the sheet on top of her, she adds, “Ethan is really okay with this?”

“I wouldn’t say he’s thrilled about it, but he’s trying to understand it, and that’s better than nothing. We won’t have to hide anymore, which is a relief in itself.”

“Except if your dad finds out,” she says pointedly.

I scoff. “Trust me, he’s not coming back until Christmas. This last visit was a spur of the moment type of the thing—something he doesn’t do often.”

“Hmm,” she hums, sinking back into the pillows. That same loopy smile falls onto her face before she says, “No hiding, huh? I wonder what that’ll be like.”

“Well, for starters . . .” Leaning up to press my lips against hers, I kiss her deeply, and after everything that’s happened today, it’s exactly what I need. Kissing Maddie grounds me. It brings me to a state of relaxation that no elixir could provide. “I can kiss you without fear of someone walking in on us, so that’s nice.”

She giggles, bringing her hands up to run through my curls. “Has anyone ever mentioned that you’re insanely hot?”

I arch a brow. “Do you want the truth?”

“No,” she hums happily. “Lie to me.”

I kiss her cheek, then her forehead. “Then you’re the only one who’s ever said I’m insanely hot.”

“Okay, the lie didn’t make me feel any better.” She pouts, frowning at the thought. “Now all I’m thinking of are the numerous girls who’ve probably called you hot.”

“Want to know the truth, then?”

“Fine,” she groans. “Let me hear the damage. How many?”

My mother raised me not to be an idiot when it comes to girls. I’m in no way, shape, or form going to tell her how many of them I’ve heard call me hot. Honestly, I wouldn’t be able to count the actual number, as bad as that sounds. I don’t want to be cocky, but a lot of girls have said I’m hot.

I lock eyes with her, swallowing thickly as the emotions from the day catch up to me. She got hurt today, and those screams . . . I didn’t realize how important she was to me until that moment. My body kicked into overdrive, desperate to save her. Hell, I carried her three miles back to the car. As much as I want to say I’m not emotionally ready, my actions are telling me otherwise.

Just take the leap .

Fucking tell her .

But looking into her eyes, I’m reminded of my conversation with Ethan and how I can’t be certain that I won’t hurt her. I don’t know if I’m ready to say those three words because of the value they hold, but is anyone ever ready to say them?

My emotions may still be on the fence, but I can at least give her one truth that I’m more than confident in.

I hover my lips above hers with that seductive grin she loves so much. “The truth is, plenty of girls have called me hot, Maddie, but you’re the only one I’ve ever wanted to hear it from.”