Page 29 of Playmaker
Maddie
Our ride to the Grand Canyon is insufferable , but this time it isn’t because Cameron and I can’t decide on a music station.
We’re all packed in my parents’ minivan. Ethan and Maya took the front seats while Cameron and I took the back. Cameron claimed it was because he’d have more leg room back here, and Ethan and Maya certainly didn’t complain that they’d be sitting next to each other.
Even with the AC on full blast the temperature in the car never seems to cool. We’re supposed to be keeping this a secret between us, and Cameron and I both agreed last night that we would be cordial. That agreement didn’t include stolen glances out of the corner of his eye or his hand brushing against mine when no one is looking, but he doesn’t seem to care about our rules. I’ve squirmed the entire drive, and it’s all due to Cameron Holden and his tight fucking shorts that outline the exact body part I’m trying desperately to avoid.
I’m addicted. Utterly and completely addicted.
Maybe it’s because we’ve had to cram this situationship of ours into the span of two weeks, and after talking to Maya, I do want to confront Cameron and ask him what happens when we head back to school, but that would mean getting him alone, and I’m afraid if we do manage to get a second of alone time this weekend, it’s not going to be spent talking.
Finally, we arrive at the Airbnb my parents rented. It’s high up on a mountain overlooking the canyon. The late afternoon sun beams down on the vast, seemingly endless expanse of priceless landscape before us.
I never knew the true meaning of the word breathtaking before I visited the canyon for the first time. It was a painting come to life when I first saw it, and I had to suck in a sharp breath of air after being so transfixed by the peace that was almost too overwhelming to bear.
Aside from the wind, it’s silent here, allowing me the time to truly think and reflect on every stressor and inconvenience going on in my life. It brings a sense of security that I didn’t realize I needed until now.
Footsteps crunching on stone shift my attention to Cameron, who has come to stand beside me and admire the view too.
The more he stares, the more distant he becomes.
Maybe Cameron needs this moment of peace even more than I do.
There’s a deck with a built-in pool, a grill, and even a hot tub attached to the house, and when Maya spots it, she squeals with excitement. “We are so hitting the pool! Let’s go get changed!”
Cameron snaps out of whatever daze he’s in and joins my father and Ethan to lug the bags inside. It might be a coincidence, but it doesn’t stop the flurry of butterflies taking flight that he’s grabbed only my suitcase along with his own.
My eyes are trained on the way his muscles in his back contract from the weight when Maya scoffs beside me and says, “So far, you’re doing a terrible job of not making it obvious.”
“It’s not my fault,” I groan. “Why does he have to look like that ? He’s so tall, and why did he have to wear those shorts that emphasize his calves?” Maya bursts out laughing, and I send her a dirty glare. “I despise being a female with hormones.”
“Don’t worry, girl.” Maya pats me on the shoulder and pushes me in the direction of the Airbnb. “You’re not the only one salivating. Now let’s go get in our swimsuits and give them a taste of their own medicine.”
—
Two hours later, my dad returns from a nearby grocery store with some steaks to grill, and my mom is working on the side dishes in the kitchen. She told us she didn’t need help and encouraged us to go have fun in the pool.
I prefer to put all my clothes away on the first day of vacation, but for my best friend who is trying to live this trip to the fullest, I’ll sacrifice my routine and join her for a pool day.
When I step outside in the skimpy bikini Maya lent me, a portable radio is blaring as my dad gets the grill ready. Maya is already floating on her back in the water, allowing the sun to tan her skin to perfection, and Ethan’s eyes are glued to her from where he sits on a patio chair. A bottle of whiskey sits beside him, a full glass in his hand as he gulps half of it down.
I bite my lip to keep from smiling.
He’s got it bad .
“Maddie!” Maya exclaims when she spots me. “Come on, let’s play chicken!”
“ Chicken? With just ourselves?”
She rolls her eyes, waving to Ethan and—
Holy hell .
The breath hitches in my throat when my eyes meet Cameron’s. His gaze is already burning a hole in the side of my head, and the look in his eyes is identical to when he’s inside of me.
He shifts his gaze to Ethan, who’s too focused on what Maya just proposed to care about anything else, so Cameron takes his time checking me out, staring at my breasts for a beat longer than he should.
His hard, muscular body is oiled up and he’s wearing another pair of hoochie shorts. One arm is on the back of the patio chair he’s sitting in, and his long legs are sprawled out before him. I want to sink to my knees, pull those shorts down, and show him just how good he fucking looks.
Shit .
I’m never going to keep this facade up if I keep thinking dirty .
Cameron takes a slow sip from the whiskey bottle, eyeing me over the rim.
“We have two strong, capable men I’m sure would be more than willing to help us out, no?” Maya bats her eyelashes at Ethan, who gives a curt nod and practically hurls his chair back at the prospect of having her legs around his head, even if it’s not in the way he wants.
“Well?” Cameron asks with a teasing grin. “What do you say, Mads?”
“I don’t know,” I reply with a grin of my own. “Are you as strong as you look?”
A twinkle lights up his eyes. “Stronger than you’d think.”
Christ . The images slam into my head all at once. His elbows beside my head as he drilled his hips against mine. Him pinning me against the shower wall as he fucked me senseless, never losing stamina or needing to stop for breaks.
He chuckles and slides his chair back as if he knows where my thoughts have gone. “Well, is that a yes?”
Not wanting him to see the effect he has on me, I stomp into the water until it’s at my waist, gulping when he trails in after me with slow, precise strides. In every room he walks into, he takes up the entirety of it. He consumes my thoughts, brings my fantasies to life, and has me in a state of tunnel vision, especially now, when droplets of water cling to his chest and trickle down his abs.
“Who’s going on your shoulders?” Cameron asks Ethan, who cuts him a glare.
“Maya,” he replies. “You know, for height purposes.”
Right , because my shortness would be the reason he loses.
“Guess you’re with me, then.” Cameron spins to face me, but when he does, his hand brushes between my legs under the water, hidden by his large frame. I close my eyes at the feeling, and while Ethan and Maya are distracted, he bends down to my ear to whisper, “How should we celebrate if we win?”
“Fucking hell.” I don’t realize I’ve said it out loud, but before Cameron can tease me about it, Maya claps her hands to announce the starting of the game.
Wrapping my thighs around Cameron’s head is not what I need right now, especially when my body is a raging inferno, but Maya is already on Ethan’s shoulders, prepared and ready to strike.
Cameron wears that stupid smirk of his before he spins around again to dip under the water. My thighs wrap around his neck to sit over his shoulders, and when he rises easily to his feet, my hands are clutched in his curls as I attempt to gain my balance.
“Feel at home yet?” he mutters under his breath.
“I hate you,” I whisper back.
He laughs while Ethan and Maya draw closer. “Keep telling yourself that, Mads .”
The second Maya launches herself at me, I go at her with a force of my own, squeezing the sides of Cameron’s head with my thighs. He keeps his hands firmly around my knees, his legs holding his ground to create stability for me.
I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve gotten used to keeping Cameron in a headlock, but I hardly put in any effort at all before Maya crashes into the water and takes Ethan with her. The win is instantaneous, and when Maya calls for a rematch, we win again.
And again.
And again.
I’ve been on Cameron’s shoulders for over half an hour and the man hasn’t faltered once, a tribute to the training he’s so adamant about.
“Dude, just call it,” Cameron says when Ethan rises to the surface panting and out of breath. “You’ve got no chance.”
“Fuck you and your unnatural athletic ability,” Ethan shoots back.
Maya wrings out her hair as she adds, “Don’t sweat it, Ethan. I intended on getting wet, anyway.”
A coughing fit erupts from my brother at her choice of words, and I would have laughed but Cameron catches me off guard when his hands land on my waist and he lifts me over his head like I’m a damn feather before he sets me on my feet in front of him. My ass brushes his cock, and it takes every ounce of willpower for me to put distance between us.
“Honey?” my dad calls from the grill. The steaks are sizzling, the wind carrying over a charred, seasoned aroma that makes my stomach rumble. “Can you bring me out the pan for these steaks, please?”
A heartbeat later the glass door slides open and my mom appears at his side with the pan in hand. She glances at him, and the smile that lights up his face makes my chest tighten. The love between my parents has always been evident, but it’s in these small moments that I can really see the adoration they have for one another.
Stolen kisses while she’s doing dishes.
Holding every door open despite her refusal.
He gazes at her like she’s the only girl in the world to him, and after twenty-three years of marriage, they’re happier than ever.
It’s a love I hope to have of my own someday.
And it could be another coincidence when Cameron’s hand brushes mine beneath the water, but deep down, I’m desperately hoping it isn’t.
—
“Oh come on!” Ethan laughs hysterically, doubling over after one too many drinks. “You can’t seriously believe he’s the best quarterback.”
My dad is grinning from ear to ear when he replies, “Give him a few years and you’ll be eating those words.” Then, after a few seconds he adds, “Unless Cameron here gets drafted and shows him up.”
We’re sitting around the patio dining table with our stomachs full. My skin has a slight sunburn from earlier, and my hair is frizzy and damp from the pool. The first day of vacation didn’t disappoint, especially all the stolen moments with Cameron. If it wasn’t for my brother being so distracted by Maya, I’m certain he would have noticed something was up between us by now.
However, I’m thankful for the reprieve.
It’s allowing Cameron to sit beside me tonight at dinner, his hand on my knee while his thumb rubs slow circles on my inner thigh. He’s been constant about it since we sat down, until he hears my dad’s question.
The thumb on my thigh stills before he says, “It’s not a guarantee I’ll be drafted.”
My dad chuckles. “Please. Your stats are better than anyone else’s, Cameron. If anyone is going to be drafted, it’s you . I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re a first round pick.”
I glance up to see a tight smile on Cameron’s face that seems forced. “Hopefully.”
Ethan leans over to whisper something in Maya’s ear, which makes her smile into her cup of soda, which is definitely mixed with liquor. My parents won’t let us drink since she and I are still underage, but the boys have been stealing our glasses when they go to refill theirs. I’m about to give Cameron an out by asking him to get me a refill when my dad suddenly claps his hands and says, “All right, who wants to help me start this bonfire? The logs I bought earlier are in the trunk of the car.”
“I’ll do it,” Cameron says, seeming desperate to get away from the previous conversation. “Care to help, Ethan?”
If looks could kill, the death glare my brother shoots him would get the job done. It’s a look that says, Don’t you see I’m making progress with her? “Can’t Maddie help you? She’s more than capable.”
Cameron shifts his attention to me, eyes gleaming like he was hoping Ethan would say that, and now I’m wondering if his desperation to get away is more to do with me than the conversation. “Shall we?”
“Sure.” I stand and follow him across the patio to where the steps lead down to the gravel. As we walk down the long driveway and away from the tiki torches, it’s pitch black and eerily quiet aside from the crunching of stone beneath our shoes.
Finally, when we’re far enough away, Cameron reaches over to interlock our fingers and tugs me off the beaten path that is most certainly not toward the car.
“What are you—” He spins me around, and suddenly my back is pressed against the bark of a tree before his lips meet mine. It’s fast and sloppy and difficult to keep up with, but my hands rake through his hair in an effort to match his pace as his hand slips into the bottoms of my swimsuit.
“We have two minutes before they get suspicious,” he pants against my ear. I can’t see his face in the dark, but it almost makes it hotter. Secretive.
Wrong .
“Can you come for me in two minutes?” His voice is husky and laced with nothing but desire, and I can do nothing but nod when he circles my clit. “Fuck, I missed you. I’m fucking addicted to you, and today has been torture not being able to touch you the way I want.”
“Cam,” I whimper.
He shoves two fingers inside, not giving me any time to adjust before he’s pumping away and gathering the wetness that’s accumulated throughout the day. He groans as his fingers coax my walls, and he moves closer until his hardness is pressed against my stomach. “You’re so wet, baby. Does this turn you on? My fingers fucking you when we could be caught any second?”
“Yes,” I gasp.
He pumps them faster, the sound of my pussy filling the silence. I’m in heaven when he rubs his cock against me, and we’re practically dry humping against this tree to try to make this quick.
I’d like to think him taking me down here to do this was planned, but the fake smile he gave my father at dinner leads me to think this was a spur of the moment decision. He’s confessed that sex has always been an outlet for him. A distraction .
If this is what he needs to take his mind off everything, I’ll be his outlet.
I meant it when I told him I’d hold his hand through this.
“Fuck.” He reaches between us to mess with the tie of his swim trunks, and then he’s fisting his cock in his hand. It’s only his gritty voice and labored breathing in the blanket of darkness covering us, and I can’t breathe when he drags his cock along my slit to gather the wetness, using that as lubricant to pump himself. “I can’t get enough of you. I want you all the fucking time.”
His fingers go deeper, curling against the spot that has me gasping. Before I can cry out, he shakes his head and adds, “Don’t you dare make a sound, Maddie. Put a hand over your mouth.”
I do as I’m told, my moans muffled by my own palm, and Cameron chuckles darkly. “See? I knew you being a good girl would work out in my benefit. So fucking beautiful .”
My eyes roll to the back of my head when I feel the ghost of his lips brush against my neck. He flicks his tongue on my skin as his pace on himself quickens, and when he grunts into my ear, I’m a detonating mess against his fingers.
There’s no saving me from this torture of having to come without making a sound. We should be talking about the future and what this means between us when we leave in a few days, but after years of pent-up sexual frustration, no amount of pleasure he gives seems to be enough.
I want more.
Need more.
But one more minute and my family will start to get concerned, and we can’t risk that. At least, it seems he doesn’t want to risk it. The more I’m falling for him, the less I care about my family’s feelings on the matter. I do respect their opinion, but I’m an adult, and if Cameron and I want to date, there shouldn’t be a problem with it.
But Cameron wants to take things slow. He isn’t ready to say those three words to me, and until he is, I refuse to say them either. I don’t want my family knowing about us if it’s not going to work out or turn into something serious. I want to wait until Cameron is sure before I tell anyone else.
“You okay?” he whispers as he fixes the tie of his swim trunks. When he’s finished, he moves the bottoms of my bikini back into place and interlocks our fingers to tug me back on the gravel path.
“I’m more than okay,” I admit. “You have a filthy mouth.”
I can hear the smile on his face when he says, “Well, judging from your wetness, I’d say you like it, no?”
“Definitely,” I admit, a blush creeping onto my cheeks. “Never stop.”
After we grab the bags of logs we head back to the patio, where laughter carries from up above, and when we reach my family again, nobody questions us or even casts a glance in our direction. I help Cameron set up the logs correctly in the pit before my dad joins us and lights it up.
The flames crackle to life, casting our faces in an orange glow, and my heart plummets into my stomach at how devastating Cam looks at this moment.
His curls are unruly and wild and his eyes are the brightest emerald that could rival the gems themselves. A smile covers the entire bottom half of his face, probably due to the memories of what we just did in the woods, and seeing him so carefree and happy has me coming to the conclusion that Ethan was right.
I’m good for him.
And it’s only a matter of time before he realizes that too.
Maya joins us and tosses me a hoodie she grabbed, but when I bring it to my nose, the smell is all too familiar. It’s mint with a hint of spice, and my best friend shrugs when she sits down on one of the benches beside the fire pit and says, “I grabbed the first one I could find. I can’t help that it’s Cameron’s.” She shifts her attention to him when I slide it over my head. “Do you mind if she wears it?”
Ethan steals the spot beside Maya before I can sit down, his thigh pressed against hers. She’s wearing my brother’s sweatshirt, and I only know this because it’s an old one from high school when he tried soccer for a season and hated it.
Cameron gulps when his eyes run over me. “Not at all. Are you going to sit or stand all night?”
My feet move before my brain can catch up when he pats the spot beside him, but sitting here with my family brings a heavy reminder that there’s a possibility we’ll never be able to work things out. If my brother or parents discover what’s been going on and disapprove, Cameron won’t go further with me because of how important my family is to him.
Sitting around this fire reignites the fear that I may never know what it feels like to experience my head on his shoulder and his arm wrapped around me, holding me close. He may never be able to love me fully because of the trauma of his past and his fear of facing the reality of his feelings.
I’m sinking into quicksand with him, and the longer I wait, the more difficult it’s going to be to pull myself out if he changes his mind.
“Your hair,” Cameron mutters under his breath, drawing me from my thoughts.
“Hm?”
“A leaf is in your hair. Left side.” The smug grin he’s wearing makes me roll my eyes as I discreetly find the leaf and discard it before my parents join us. My mom launches into a story about a romantic picnic my father planned for them tomorrow evening on one of the trails, and Ethan discusses a new restaurant he wants to try for dinner, subtly hinting that Maya should join us.
Everyone seems excited for what’s to come, and I want to feel the same, but with so much uncertainty hanging in the air about the future for us, I can’t bring myself to get on the same page.
Cameron bumps his knee against mine then lowers his head to whisper, “Have I mentioned before how beautiful you look in my clothes?”
My heart stutters in my chest.
When I lift my eyes to his, Cam scans them, seeming to read all the nerves and doubt. “Give me time,” he whispers. “Please.”
I muster up a weak smile, which even I don’t believe is convincing. I want to hold his hand through this, and I’m going to, but what does that mean for me? I’m putting my heart on the line, and the reality of the situation is we don’t have time to spare.
We leave for school in four days, and if Cameron decides he’s not ready to continue things, I’m going to be the one left to pick up the pieces of my heart again .
But when those green eyes soften, pleading and communicating everything words can’t, I’m incapable of telling him no. I’m incapable of holding myself back out of fear of getting hurt. It’s always been all or nothing with him, and the truth is, I’d rather have it all than risk being nothing again.
I’m up to my neck in quicksand, and whether I like it or not, only Cameron’s hand can pull me out, and it’s up to him whether he chooses to save me or damn me for eternity.