Page 18 of Playmaker

Cameron

This woman will be the utter death of me.

Who is this?

It’s the only thought in my head as my eyes zero in on her spread legs and the glistening wetness already waiting. I always thought Maddie was shy and that when it came to sex she’d be a prude, but as always, she never fails to surprise me. She is far from a prude. I almost don’t recognize her.

My cock throbs against my pants, begging for release. She’s fucking stunning, and all I want to do is bury myself in her. I don’t know what made her change her mind about continuing this, but if she wants an orgasm, I’ll give her one.

When I finally push off the door, I keep my eyes on hers while I take off my belt. From the moonlight seeping in from the window, I can tell how turned on she is, so excited and eager, and I’ve never been more determined to please her than I am right now. If she wants to forget then that’s exactly what I’ll do.

I was an ass, after all.

Her teeth tug on her bottom lip as I pull my belt off and fling it to the floor—my dress pants are unbuttoned and barely clinging to my hips. “How would you like to come, Maddie?” I ask her sternly. “However you want it, I’ll do it.”

“Oh god,” she pants, impatient as I shrug off my pants and briefs.

You’d think I’d just unveiled a porterhouse steak the way she’s looking at my cock, and I love it. I’m entranced by how wild her eyes look. How into me she seems to be at this moment.

As I climb on top of her, she pulls on the gold chain I have around my neck, tugging me closer, and as soon as our lips touch, I completely lose myself in her.

No longer can I be dominant. No longer can I be in charge. For the first time, I’ve found a girl who makes me take the backseat. I would give anything to please her and give her exactly what she needs.

I can’t kiss her fast enough. Her hands are all over my body and running every which way while we make out so intensely that our teeth are clashing. I’m gripping those heavenly tits, feeling her nipples grow hard against my fingers.

“Oh, Maddie,” I moan into her mouth as she tugs on my curls. My fingers slide to her soaking wet pussy, so ready and perfect that I can’t take it anymore.

“ Please eat me out,” she gasps.

Maddie Davis, the girl who was so tentative about sucking my dick yesterday, has transformed into a different person. Or maybe she’s gotten comfortable with me and is finally showing me her true colors in bed. I’m impressed by how bold she is.

So hot .

“As you wish,” I comply and slip between her legs. I place my lips on her without a second thought, and she’s as sweet as always.

I’m lost in her.

I could drown in her.

I dip my tongue into her pussy, feeling her legs stiffen. She’s already close, but I don’t want her to come. Not yet. She wanted to come so hard that she forgets, and that’s what I promised her I’d do.

There’s a floor-length mirror directly in front of her bed, so I pull her up onto her knees, her back against my chest so she can see us both in the reflection.

“You wanted to come so hard . . .” I whisper into her ear, my fingers finding her clit before I rub slow, torturous circles on it. “I want you to watch me when I do this. Do you see how sexy you are?”

Her heartbeat is rapid beneath my forearm, which is pinning her to my chest. She can’t even speak when I use my free hand to grab one of her breasts, never breaking our gaze in the reflection. “Your tits”—I squeeze one and gently kiss her shoulder—“are the best I’ve ever seen.”

I run my fingertips over her nipple, and I’m so hard as I watch myself do this to her.

Moving my hand to her clit again, I push one finger inside of her and soak up the gasp she gives me.

“That’s right, baby.” The endearment slips, but it doesn’t seem to bother her. It doesn’t seem to bother me either. It feels right coming off my tongue—like the sentiment has belonged to her long before this moment. “Show me how much I get to you.”

“Cam,” she chokes out.

I feel her legs begin to shake, nearing the edge, and the sound of her wet pussy is so intoxicating I think I’ll combust.

“Were you thinking about me?” I ask. “Is that why you asked me to come up here?”

She nods, catching me off guard.

“You were?”

“Yes. I was touching myself,” she pants.

Oh, sweet fuck .

I chuckle against her skin, my eyes not leaving hers in the reflection as I kiss her shoulder again and say, “So, so hot. Do you know that I get off to you too?”

She shakes her head, completely clueless as to how addicting she truly is. How much she has taken over my damn mind.

Not being able to hold back any longer, I place my hand over myself and begin to stroke. Her eyes are glued to the motion as I drag my hand along my shaft, and seeing her reaction is so unbearably hot that I almost can’t take it.

“I do this all the time . . .” I trail off. “To thoughts of you.”

My finger is pushing in and out of her so easily that it slips not once, but twice. I don’t know if a girl has ever been this wet for me before.

“What do you think about?” she pleads.

I’m surprised she’s able to talk, so I put in another finger, unsurprised when she takes it like a pro. I nod in approval. “Two. Good girl, Maddie.”

“What do you think about?” she asks again. I quicken the pace in her and on myself, never losing focus in the mirror. I want her to watch me finger her. Want to feel this tight pussy explode and drench the comforter beneath us. Want to show her how long I’ve been waiting to do this.

“I think about this wet cunt,” I whisper in her ear. “And I think about how fucking good it would feel wrapped around my cock.” She whimpers from the dirty talk, and I’m pleasantly surprised by that. Maybe words can push her over the edge too.

“Look at me,” I say when her eyes close. They immediately pop back open in a blazing, icy version of ecstasy. “I want to bury myself inside of you, Maddie. I want to be inside of you just like this .” I press myself against her from behind, feeling the smoothness of her ass and admiring the way it looks like pure silk in the moonlight.

“I wouldn’t even wear a condom,” I continue. “And I always do, but with you . . .” I push in deeper, feeling her tightness around my fingers. “So fucking wet, baby.”

“Yes, keep calling me that,” she begs.

With other girls, calling them baby was like a pet name. It was just something to call them because I felt like it was what they expected in the moment. Saying it to Maddie feels different. When I say it to her, the term of endearment makes me imagine a world where she could be mine and I could be hers, and the strangest part about it all is that that world doesn’t terrify me. Maybe, deep down, I want to make her mine.

And I have no idea what the hell to do with that revelation.

“I want—” I run my tongue up the column of her neck. “To—” I bite her earlobe. “Feel you come.” I pant against her ear. “ Please , baby.”

I finish before she does, and I feel her hips buck against my fingers as she watches me stroke myself in the mirror and stain the purple comforter she’s had for years. Her moan is loud, so I slap my free hand over her mouth while I bite down on her neck to muffle my own cries of pleasure.

Her legs are quivering when I slip my fingers out and collapse onto my back, panting and feeling as if I’m on cloud nine.

I’m in a dream I don’t ever want to wake up from.

She’s still on her knees, unable to move while she tries to regain control of her breathing. Then she looks over her shoulder at me and smiles, and something inside of my chest tightens at the sight. I don’t ever know what to say to her during the moments after. It’s always incredible with her, and each time we do this I become a little more addicted than the time before.

It’s silent in the room now, just the faint smell of sex floating throughout the air. She lies down beside me, her leg touching mine, and I instinctively pull her closer and tug the comforter over us for privacy.

“Are you still mad?” I finally manage to whisper.

She rests her chin on my chest and traces my tiny patch of chest hair. It seems as if she’s debating whether or not to share what’s on her mind, so I beat her to it.

“Be honest,” I say. To try to coax it out of her and make her feel more relaxed, I rub small circles on her thigh, smiling at the goose bumps that rise on her skin.

“I think I’d be lying to you if I said I was okay with you messing around with other girls,” she admits. “And maybe it’s partly my fault for not clarifying, so I apologize for that, but while we’re exploring during this break, I want to be exploring with just each other.” She presses her lips together and releases a sigh. “Keeping this a secret is fine, but I don’t want to share you.”

Does she want a title ?

Would she be willing to take the risk and tell Ethan?

My mind whirls with about a billion thoughts going off at once. I’m not ready to commit to anyone, because the very minute I do, I’m going to run. I have attachment issues after losing my mom, and somehow, someway I’d fuck it up with Maddie if I ever got the chance.

“I know you aren’t the relationship type,” she reassures me, seeming to read my thoughts. “And I’m fine with that, but only if this exploring situation is with me and only me until we go back to school. I don’t want to be messing around with you if you’re messing around with other girls too.”

“I’m not,” I blurt. “Messing with other girls, I mean. I haven’t since we kissed.” The confession seems to surprise her, but she allows me to continue and doesn’t interrupt. “However, I don’t want to stop you from finding someone who can give you the things I can’t, Mads, and I wouldn’t be doing you justice if I tried to steer you away from Mark. Trust me when I say I want to be selfish as fuck and keep you all to myself, but you deserve more than that. That’s why I suggested you give him a chance.”

The thought of her with someone else is like a punch to the gut, but I’m not the guy she’s going to spend the rest of her life with. I lost the ability to fully love someone the second I found out my mom was no longer with me.

Maddie’s eyes meet mine, blurry with tears threatening to spill. “So you want me to go on a date with him?”

No .

Fuck no .

“I want to give you the choice,” I say instead. “You deserve to explore things with him to see where things go.” The disappointed expression on her face is enough to tempt me to lie to her and give her false promises I’ll never be able to follow through with. I want to tell her I could give her the happily ever after she craves because if my life was capable of having one, it’d be with her, but those words die on my tongue as soon as they enter my thoughts. I’m not going to lie only to crush her in the long run. I’m not going to have her walk away from me sobbing her eyes out like she did six years ago.

I refuse.

“Okay,” she whispers. “I’ll think about it, and if you’re allowing me to explore things with Mark then I guess you can see someone else if you—”

“I don’t want to see someone else.”

Her brows fly to her forehead. “Really?”

“Is that so hard to believe?” I counter. “I’ve explored enough. I’m fine being exclusive with you until we head back to school.”

“No other girls,” she repeats. “Just me. Are you sure you’re okay with that?”

“Mads.” I pull her closer. “I’m completely okay with that.”

The smile that falls over her face could rival the moonlight glittering through the window. I’m content when she relaxes her head back on my chest, almost as if nothing could go wrong. With her in my arms, suddenly my relationship with my dad doesn’t seem to matter. Making it to the NFL isn’t as stressful. Keeping my status as the hometown hero isn’t as important.

When I’m with her, I’m just Cam.

Normally, this would be the part when I’d leave. I’d make up some lame excuse about having to train or call it an early night, but for the second time, I find myself wanting to stay and talk with her.

I’ve known her my entire life. Until I got to high school she was one of my best friends, and I care so much for her. Now that we’ve rekindled our friendship, I feel more myself than I have in years, but with this added intimacy, I’m worried it’ll change things for us. We agreed to no expectations and to end this when we head back to school, but when that happens, will I lose this rekindled friendship too? I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle losing all of her again.

“Do you remember when we went to that ice-cream parlor the summer before you guys started high school?” she asks, dragging me from my thoughts. “When you got a slushy and you laughed so hard it came out of your nose?”

I laugh at the memory. It feels so long ago, and yet I can remember it vividly. It was the week before we all went to Myrtle Beach. “Yeah. Ethan was telling that stupid joke about a cow? Cat? I can’t remember what it was, but it wasn’t even that funny. I don’t know how that happened.”

“It was a cow,” she says, “and that was the first time I realized I was attracted to you.”

I sit up in disbelief. “ That is the first time you thought I was hot? When a fucking slushy came out of my nose? Mads, come on.”

“What?” She giggles, pushing some stray curls away from my face. “I couldn’t help it! Your laugh was obnoxiously cute. It still is.”

Her laugh is cute too. I’ve always been infatuated with the way her nose wrinkles up, or when she’s laughing so hard she can’t breathe and snorts. Maddie has always held my attention no matter what she does, but there is only one day I can think of when I had been about to spill all my feelings for her—the night I came to terms with the fact that there wasn’t a more beautiful human being on the planet than Maddie.

I bend down to give her a kiss and whisper, “Myrtle Beach.”

“Hm?” she asks.

“The summer your family took us to Myrtle Beach. You convinced me to sneak out, and I don’t think I’ve ever felt so alive.”

At the mention of that night, her body stills. “That was when you were first attracted to me? I probably looked like shit, Cam.”

She didn’t. I still remember it as if it was yesterday. Her hair was in a messy bun, and she was wearing an oversized sweatshirt and a pair of my sweatpants I’d let her borrow, but that was her , and it was breathtaking.

“Well, if you want me to be honest, the first time I was attracted to you was definitely when you wore a bikini to the beach for the first time,” I admit. “Same vacation if I’m not mistaken.”

She rolls her eyes. “There’s the Cam I know.”

“What?” My hand drifts to her breasts beneath the comforter, loving the sharp little inhale she gives when I caress them. “I’m a guy. These were very distracting.”

When she laughs again and swats my hand away, all my worries fade. It’s just her and me, and there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.

I don’t want to get up. I want to stay here with her all night long, but unfortunately, her parents and brother are under the same roof, and if her father caught us in bed together I’d be a dead man walking.

“Ugh, no ,” she whines when I slide off the bed. I ignore the urge to crawl back to her while I slip my dress clothes back on. They’re uncomfortable and stiff, and now I’m regretting not asking Ethan to borrow a change of clothes.

When I’m finished, I find her panties and T-shirt scattered on the floor and pass them back to her. “This won’t be the last time we do this,” I say.

She grins. “I certainly hope not.”

I lean over the mattress to give her one last kiss, groaning when her hands rake through my hair. In seconds I’m hard again , ready to spring into round two, but I pull myself away before I can get sucked in. It was dangerous enough doing this once tonight, let alone twice. “I need to see you as much as possible before we leave for the Grand Canyon.”

“Yes please,” she hums in agreement. “Maya can help out. She wouldn’t say a word to anyone if I asked her to cover for me. You know, just so I have an explanation for why I’m away from home so much.”

“Sounds like a plan to me.” I give her a devilish grin and back up toward the door. “I hope you keep your energy up, Maddie Davis, because if we only have eight days left of this? I’m not going to keep my hands off you.”

“Looking forward to it, Holden.” She relaxes against her pillows, content and happy, and that tightening sensation happens in my chest again—the kind of feeling one gets before bungee jumping off a bridge or heading out to give a speech to a large audience. It’s uncomfortable, but it’s not foreign. I’ve gotten it before, and it’s fucking terrifying to know that the only other time I’ve felt it was again with her on that night in Myrtle Beach right before I was about to pour my heart out and stopped myself.

I had been about to tell her that I was in love with her.

Correction: I am in love with her.

No matter how hard I tried to distance myself and push her away, the feeling never made it out of my system, and now I’m left to deal with the repercussions after telling her she should go on a date with someone who isn’t me.

It’s better this way , I tell myself.

Safer .

But the mantra I’ve repeated for years is starting to fail me.