Page 31 of Playmaker

Maddie

I am going to kill my brother.

With every step up this godforsaken trail, my calves and thighs are on fire. My muscles are strained and tired, and my water bottle was empty after the first hour. Ethan thought it would be a good idea to go on the trail my parents took after they raved about the views, and since he’s still doing a terrible job at keeping whatever transpired between Maya and him last night a secret, he invited Cameron and me along for the group activity.

Shielding my eyes from the beaming sun, I squint uphill and see the beginning of a clearing at the top. My thighs are pulsating from exertion, trembling and cramping as I try to keep up with the rest of them. I wouldn’t classify myself as out of shape, but I don’t train every day like Cameron, who hasn’t even broken a sweat on this stupid hike. Maya with her morning yoga sessions is sticking close to Ethan, who, although he’s sweating, isn’t nearly as tired as I am.

I despise them all .

My shirt is sticking to my back, which seems at odds given the wind from the canyon. I should be chilly, but instead I’m a panting, disgusting mess.

Fuck it .

Tugging my shirt over my head, I’m in just a sports bra now and a pair of leggings, glaring at the three people a few feet ahead who are handling this hike like it’s a walk in the park.

Ethan glances over his shoulder, laughing when he says, “Keep up, Maddie. Maya is making you look bad.”

I narrow my eyes at the two lovebirds who are pretending they aren’t lovebirds. Although Maya said the date went well, she refuses to give me any details. From the looks of it, my brother seems even more infatuated with her than usual. They’re kicking rocks and dust in their trail, which does nothing but coat my skin in a gritty texture.

Cam slows, and while he was calm, cool, and collected before, he now puts his hands on his hips and begins to breathe heavily. “Damn. It’s getting to me now.”

Liar .

“Don’t try to placate me,” I seethe.

His voice drops into a whisper when he says, “I love when you use big words on me.” Then, when Ethan and Maya are far enough ahead, he adds, “You’re really going to wear just a sports bra in front of me?”

“Your—” I lean over to place my hands on my knees. “Your pickup lines aren’t going to work on me today, Cam. I’m fucking exhausted, and I’m not in the mood.”

When I glance up at the trail ahead again, it only seems to be getting longer. The more I walk, the farther the distance between me and the clearing seems to be.

“Come on,” Cam encourages. “You can do this, Mads.”

“I really don’t think I can,” I admit. “I think I’m going to puke.”

Ethan and Maya have reached the top now, and Maya squeals, her voice echoing. “Oh my god, it’s so pretty up here, Maddie! You have to see this!”

A slew of cuss words works their way up my throat, but Cam squats beside me to catch my gaze with his. “Come on,” he reassures me in a whisper. “You’ve got this, baby. Drink some of my water.”

He passes his jug over to me, smiling when I chug most of it down.

I can count on one hand the things that would make me keep trying to climb this fucking trail, but Cameron smiling at me like that ranks in at number one. He seems to realize that too.

Pressing the jug back into his chest, I push past the excruciating pain and walk the remaining few feet to the top.

“Yeah!” Cameron claps behind me as he follows, and I roll my eyes, fighting a smile of my own. Even when I’m about to pass out, he can still find a way to make me happy.

Finally, we reach the clearing. There are a few rocks we have to climb over to get there, and Cam’s fingers on my sides bring goose bumps to my already fiery skin.

I thought for certain I’d say the hike wasn’t worth it, but the breath is knocked from my lungs at the sight before me.

The canyon is laid out before us, and the sky is a beautiful blue, the sun gleaming down on the rocks and river running below. Here, it feels as if I’m part of the canyon, not just admiring it. If I felt like I had seen the canyon before, I was wrong. So wrong.

This is a painting come to life.

It almost doesn’t seem real.

“Whoa.” I breathe out as I scan the view. I’m too busy taking it all in to notice Cameron step beside me. Ethan is busy helping Maya take a picture for her social media, so the brush of Cameron’s fingers against mine is intentional.

“I wish Ethan knew,” he says, seeming to read my thoughts, “because then I’d be able to kiss you in front of this incredible ass view.”

Is he contemplating telling Ethan?

Telling my brother means the possibility of us having to end this for good, and I don’t know if either of us wants to take that risk. He could be unhappy about it, and if he tells Cam to break things off, I have no doubts that Cam will. Ethan is like a brother to him, and aside from me, he’s been the one constant Cameron’s had his entire life. I want to be mad knowing he could choose Ethan over me, but I understand the importance of their friendship, and I could never come between them.

I love Cam so much that I fear I’m losing myself in the process.

My wants and desires have been placed on the back burner since we made things exclusive between us. He told me about his red flags and that he’s fearful of following through with this commitment, and yet I’m clinging to the fraying rope of potential for dear life regardless of what it’ll do to my heart if it breaks.

I chose this , I remind myself.

“Cameron, come take a picture with Ethan!” Maya shouts.

I follow him over and stand beside my best friend while she snaps a few pictures of them. Cameron’s arm is slung around Ethan’s shoulder, and both of them wear cheesy grins. My eyes travel down Cameron’s six-pack and the way sweat is clinging to them, and I inwardly groan.

It should be a crime to be that good looking.

“Ooh!” Maya points to a rock with a flat surface. “I want a photo there, Maddie. Be my photographer.”

I take her phone and follow her over to the rock while Ethan and Cameron walk to the opposite side of the clearing. It’s silent for a moment before I ask, “When are you going to tell me what happened last night with Ethan?”

We huff as we climb over various rocks to get to the one she wants, and when we reach it, I collapse on my back, allowing the sun and wind to steady my breathing. “It’s not like I haven’t wanted to tell you, Maddie, I just—” She bites on her bottom lip, staring off into the distance. “I told you I didn’t want to ruin our friendship, and I don’t want things to get weird between us. You’re the most important person to me, and I would never let a boy ruin the bond we have. Even if it is Ethan.”

“Maya.” I reach over to grab her hand. “I’m not going to be mad, okay? You told me you were into him, so I’ve had time to come to terms with it. If something happened between you two then I’m happy for you.”

She arches a brow. “Really?”

“Yes. Plus, you’ve kept my secret with Cam this whole time, so this is my way of repaying you, okay?”

“Deal,” she replies with a smile.

“So what happened? Did he kiss you?”

Her grin grows wider. “Remember what you said about not wanting to hear all the details?”

Oh god .

The pieces click together.

“You more than kissed.”

“Thus the reason I just said the date went well.”

The smile on my best friend’s face says it all. She’s ecstatic to be with Ethan, and why shouldn’t all of us be happy? If I can accept Ethan and Maya being together, then shouldn’t my brother return the favor and allow me to be with Cam?

I’m tired of hiding.

Tired of being secretive.

Even Cam said he wished my brother knew, so maybe getting their secret out in the open will allow us to express ours in the near future.

“Ethan!” I shout across the clearing. His head whips around to meet my gaze. “It’s about damn time!”

Confusion passes across his features while it looks like Cameron is explaining that I’ve known something has been going on between him and Maya for a while now.

“You’re cool with it?” he shouts back.

I give him a thumbs-up, and the smile he sends me makes the tension in my shoulders lessen bit by bit.

“Finally.” Maya sighs. “Now can we take this picture so we can get out of here? I think the hot tub is calling our names.”

“Couldn’t agree more.”

Rising to my feet again, I wince at the soreness and take a step back to find a good angle, but instead I slip and stumble backward. I try to catch myself with my hand, but my ankle twists, and I release a bone-chilling cry when I glance down to see it stuck between two rocks. It slipped between the cracks, and now when I attempt to tug it out, it doesn’t budge.

I can’t move it.

“Holy fuck !” I scream out in pain. Tears stream down my cheeks and pain lances up my calf and into my knee as Maya sinks beside me to try to help. I can feel my ankle beginning to swell, making it impossible to free it.

“Mads, hold on!” Cam sprints across the clearing, Ethan following close on his heels. No matter how hard I try, the rock won’t move, and Maya is trying to reassure me everything will be okay, but I can’t hear her. My ears are ringing as panic begins to seep in.

“Hold on,” Maya says. “The boys are coming.”

Cam reaches me first, falling to his knees to inspect the damage. I can tell he’s trying not to seem worried, but it’s written all over his face. I’m stuck between two boulders that might as well be larger than Spaceship Earth at Disney World. I don’t know how the hell I’m getting out of this.

“I just want it out,” I sob. “Fuck. I can’t look at it.”

“Should I call 9-1-1?” Maya asks.

Ethan nods. “Yeah. Let them know the trail we’re on. Tell them we’re at the clearing.” He helps her down from the rocks before shifting his attention back to me.

The panic becomes so overwhelming that I begin to hyperventilate. No amount of air I drag down seems to be enough. It feels as if my throat is closing, and I’m terrified that I’ll never get out of this fucking mess.

What if I lose my foot?

“Mads.” Cam’s soothing voice brings me back to reality, and when I meet his emerald eyes, I can finally drag in my first breath after a full minute. Worry flickers in his stare, but he’s keeping it together for me. “You’re going to be okay, all right? I’ll make sure of it.”

“What if they can’t get it out?”

Cam grasps my chin when it begins to tremble, and for a second, all I can focus on is him. “What did I tell you all those years ago?” he asks. “I’ve got you, Maddie. Always .”

Now I’m beginning to hyperventilate for a completely different reason. He remembered my bike accident. He remembered that sentiment I’ve thought about more times than I can count, and now I’m wondering if he’s thought about it too.

Another wave of pain breaks through the slight reprieve, and I cry out in agony, gripping my leg while seeing stars.

“Baby, breathe .”

Two words.

Two words have my cries of agony subsiding and my body locking up not in pain, but in fear . Cameron’s mouth slams shut, his lips forming a thin line as he realizes what he just said too.

In front of my brother.

“What the hell did you just call her?” Ethan narrows his eyes and glances between us, and finally, after thirty seconds of silence, it clicks. “Mystery Girl is fucking Maddie ? My little sister ?”

“Ethan . . .” Cam starts. He gets to his feet, but Ethan shoves him back with his hands. It shouldn’t do much considering Cameron has a few inches on him and a lot more muscle, but Cameron doesn’t try to defend himself either. He takes the shove and allows it to propel him backward.

“You fucking lied to me!” Ethan shouts. “When the hell were you going to tell me you were messing around with her? How dare you do this to her. You know she’s had a crush on you since we were kids. We’ve all known it. Now you’re going to break her heart and store it with all the others you’ve collected? You’re no better than Michael!”

This time, when Ethan shoves him again, Cam holds him back. “I didn’t lie to you, Ethan, I just didn’t know how to tell you. It started during break, and—”

My brother lands a punch that comes out of nowhere and sends Cam flying to the ground. Blood drips from his nose onto the slab of rock beside me, and I let out another cry of pain that has nothing to do with my ankle and everything to do with the realization that things between us are coming to an end.

“Fitting, isn’t it?” Ethan seethes. “You punched Michael for breaking her heart before I could, so now I’m getting a head start before you inevitably do the same.”

Wait.

Cameron was the one who punched Michael?

It shouldn’t be my main focus. Not when the two boys in front of me are staring each other down like a UFC fight will break out at any minute, so I tuck the thought away and shift my focus to my brother. Ethan isn’t going to be okay with this, and I’m done holding on to the possibility that things can still work between us. The timing has never been right, so why would now be any different? When things settle down, when this news of Cameron and me sinks in for Ethan, I highly doubt his opinion will drastically change.

The look of hatred he’s giving us says it all.

“I’m not him,” Cameron pants. “If you just let me explain—”

“And you .” Ethan snaps his eyes to mine, seeming oblivious to the fact I’m in no mood to hear a lecture. “This whole time I’ve been tiptoeing around making a move on Maya because I was so worried about hurting you when the whole time you were fucking my best friend. And you didn’t have the decency to talk to me about it first?”

Guilt threatens to swallow me whole.

“There’s no service!” Maya pants, quickly taking in the scene. Her eyes dart from Ethan looming over Cam, to the blood on his face. “What the fuck happened?” Then her eyes meet mine, and the expression on my face must give it away.

She inhales deeply before she says, “Okay. Whatever the hell you found out needs to be dealt with later. We need to help Maddie. Maybe you guys can try to move the boulder.”

“Move the boulder?” Ethan looks incredulously at her. “How the hell are we supposed to do that?”

“Fucking try !” Maya snaps. “She’s your sister, Ethan. Pull yourself together.”

Everyone is screaming, and a day that started out so good comes crumbling down around me. I can do nothing but listen to the bickering, unable to walk away.

“Just wait.” Cam spits blood onto the sand and walks over to the side of the canyon. There’s a piece of wood on the ground, likely from another tourist, and he grips it firmly as he walks back over to me. “Okay,” he says, wedging it between the rocks. “I’m going to try to—” He grunts and pushes with all his might, and the slight relief it brings makes me sob from the reprieve.

“It’s working.” I gasp.

“Good.” He grunts. “Ethan, help me push it.”

“Don’t fucking talk to me,” Ethan spits icily at Cameron. The pain written across Cam’s face makes my heart shatter into tiny pieces, but my brother helps him regardless, and leans into one side of the boulder.

With Ethan pushing and Cameron using the wood for leverage, they free my ankle after three attempts. It hurts even worse now that it’s freed and the blood flow returns. I land on my back, staring up into the sky, and stars continue to form from the pulsating pain.

“Holy fuck.” I don’t need to look at my brother to know he’s staring at my ankle, and when I sit up to inspect the damage myself, the bile immediately rises into my throat. There’s a golf ball on one side from the swelling, and a deep shade of purple has already formed from the bruising, traveling halfway up my calf.

My chin wobbles again, but before the tears slip out, Cam whisks me into his arms and holds me close to his chest. “We’ve gotta get you to a hospital,” he says.

“Absolutely fucking not,” Ethan hisses, but when he tries to tug me out of Cam’s grasp, it causes my ankle to hit his arm, and I scream in agony.

When that scream echoes into the canyon, Cameron explodes .

“Fuck off!” he shouts, holding me tighter against him. “She needs to go to the fucking emergency room, and you’re that worried about the fact we’re together? That is what you’re concerned about? Fuck off, Ethan. We can discuss everything else later when she’s safe and under a doctor’s care. Get your priorities in fucking line.”

With me cradled against his chest, Cameron climbs carefully over the rocks before storming off in the direction of the trail.

“The trail is miles!” I sob. “Cam, you can’t carry me all that way.”

Pure determination lines his face when his eyes meet mine. “Watch me.”

My eyes are stinging from all the crying and my ankle is throbbing, yet all I can think about is the fact that Cameron stood up for me. For us . He didn’t cower at my brother’s blatant denial of this, and my fragile heart can’t help but cling to the frayed hope that maybe, just maybe , Cameron will choose us in the face of all this chaos.

The urge to know overpowers my pain when I ask, “Are you going to break up with me?”

His lips twitch, threatening a smile. “Jesus, Mads. That is not what you should be worrying about.”

“Well, are you?” I press.

He sighs, giving a shake of his head. “No, Maddie. I’m not breaking up with you. I think the pain is making you delusional.”

I want to laugh but I’m in so much pain that it sounds more like a chortled sob mixed with a laugh.

Cam bends down to kiss my forehead, his steps steady and sure as he forges down the path. “We’re going to get you help,” he reassures me, glancing over his shoulder for any sign of Ethan or Maya. “Even if I have to carry you to the car by my damn self, I’m going to make sure you’re okay.”

Even through the pain, I smile faintly against his bare chest because the more feelings develop between us, the more I realize that I might be more important to him than I imagined myself to be. I’ve spent years thinking Michael got a black eye from my brother, but it was Cameron who defended my honor that day. It was Cameron who has always done his best to protect my heart in his own way. And with that knowledge, maybe we’ll choose to face this chaos together.

“I know,” I reply as I cling to his chest. “You’ve got me. Always .”