Page 14 of Playmaker
Cameron
“Two more,” I instruct. “You can do it.”
Ethan’s arms are trembling beneath the bar he’s holding. A bead of sweat trails down his forehead from the struggle, and when he shakes his head to tap out, I quickly step in to help him lift the bar back into position.
“Fuck, I hate this shit.” He’s gasping for air as he finds his water bottle and then practically chugs the entire thing.
“You’re the one who wanted to tag along to my training session,” I remind him.
“Because I need to get back in shape. It’s been years since I played football.”
I adjust the weights on the bar so that they’re heavier and lie down on the bench to start my set. “Are you trying to get into shape for yourself or for Maya?”
The silence that follows my question says more than he ever could. “Look, Maya is into you already, in case you haven’t figured that out yet. You’re a healthy guy, Ethan. You don’t need to have a fucking eight pack to score her, she’s made that clear, so what’s with being all self-conscious? You never used to be like this.” Back in high school, Ethan was my twin. We thrived on getting girls, partying, drinking, and doing dumb shit we weren’t supposed to do. He was my wingman, and I was his, but then he chose to go to community college rather than pursue football like me, and without that common denominator, we drifted apart. Now, he’s nothing like the guy I used to know in high school. It’s not that I don’t still enjoy hanging out with him, but it’s been weird getting to know the new him. The version where he prefers video games to going out, smoking weed to relax rather than getting fucked-up drinking, and the version who almost shits his pants over a girl’s opinion of him.
“We spoke a bit on the boat, but she didn’t come right out and say she was interested.” He takes another swig of water before he adds, “I’m uncomfortable because I’ve seen her exes, and I’m nothing like them. I’m terrified to make the first move until I know for certain she’s into me, and I haven’t gotten that sign yet.”
“You—” I grunt from the weight, starting another rep. “You want her to make the first move? Ethan, be serious.”
“I’m not saying I want her to make the first move, but I’m not going to confess my feelings if I think there’s even a chance she doesn’t reciprocate them. If Maddie finds out I tried to hit on her best friend, it won’t be good for me.”
My chest is dripping with sweat when I lift the bar back into position. I snatch my water bottle from the floor and take a few large gulps, either from tiredness or nerves about the direction of this discussion. Little does he know my head was between his little sister’s thighs this morning.
“What if Maya does reciprocate your feelings? What then?”
“Then I talk to Maddie about it. I’ve been crushing on Maya for a while, so if the opportunity to be with her presented itself, I’d take it.”
“Even if Maddie disapproved?” I push.
He locks eyes with me, and for a heartbeat I’m afraid he’s figured me out. But then the moment vanishes, and he sighs before adjusting the weights for another set. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Not when my body feels like it’s going to fall apart.”
Letting out a laugh, I cross my arms over my chest. “That weak, huh? Weren’t you the one who used to be able to bench more than me?”
“Shut. Up,” he hisses through gritted teeth. His arms begin to quiver on his second set, and just when I relieve him of the weight, we hear the sound of the gym doors opening. Our high-school football coach allows me to use the gym here on breaks or during the summer if I visit from school, but it’s rare for anyone else to be here.
“Well, isn’t this a surprise.” Mark strides over to us with a wide grin. “When did you decide to get back in the gym, Ethan?”
“Don’t get used to it,” Ethan gasps. “Pretty sure this is my last workout in this godforsaken place.”
“It’s good you’re here,” he replies, placing his water bottle and phone on a treadmill. “I was going to ask you about Maddie.”
“My sister?” Ethan asks. “Why?”
“I tried to ask her out at my party a few days ago, but she seemed nervous to answer, and since I haven’t gotten a text from her, I thought I’d reach out. That is, if it’s cool with you. I need her number.”
My body is tense as I adjust for my final set. Mark asking Maddie out shouldn’t bother me at all. I told her I wasn’t ready for a relationship, and she doesn’t want any expectations between us. I assume that means we’re able to see other people, so she should go on a date with Mark. He’d be able to give her everything I’m incapable of. Love. Happily ever after. Marriage. Kids.
Even knowing that, it doesn’t stop my heart rate from spiking, and it has nothing to do with the weights I’m lifting. It’s jealousy that has me pushing through this set faster than any of the others. It’s bitterness coursing through me that gives me the newfound strength to finish with barely any strain at all.
I hardly know Mark, yet I find myself fantasizing about tackling him to the ground and giving him a black eye for a week for even implying he has an interest in Maddie.
Ethan shrugs. “Sure. I’ll text you her number when we’re done with our workout.”
Mark smiles wider, and the urge to punch him grows stronger. “Thanks, man.”
After Mark puts his headphones in and starts his run, I suddenly have no need to finish the rest of my workout. I’m already halfway through it, and Mark’s mere presence is distracting me. I’d much rather do my cardio at home and go for a run than be here thinking of his smug grin and all the plans he has for Maddie.
I have no right to be jealous. She and I will never work out, and I know that. She deserves someone who can show her off at any opportunity they get, not hide her. We’re just fooling around for the remainder of our break to explore things. That’s it.
So why does this gut-wrenching, burning sensation lead me to feel otherwise?
“What?” Ethan eyes me shoving things into my duffel bag. “You think I should have told him no?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Really? Because three minutes ago you were joking around with me, and now that Mark’s taking Maddie out you’re suddenly in a pissy mood and want to leave. Do you know something I don’t?”
Too much .
Her hands in my curls.
My lips on her skin.
Her mouth around my—
“No, I just think it should be Maddie’s decision whether or not you give him her number. Who knows? Maybe she was wary about saying yes to him because she wanted to say no.” Judging by her relaxed body language at his party, that’s not likely, but it’s worth a shot.
Ethan ponders my response for a moment and then says, “You’re right. I’ll ask her about it at dinner tonight, which you’re coming to as well, I’m assuming?” Mary texted me an hour ago about joining them, and as awkward as things are between Maddie and me, I’ve missed Mary and Richard. The nights after a long game when we’d all go out for pizza, or when I’d get sick and Mary would whip up a batch of homemade chicken noodle soup for me. I don’t get that sense of family in college. Even though Mary checks in on me, it’s not the same. I’ve missed being around all of them.
“Yeah, I’ll come. I just have to go home and shower first.”
“Cool.” We step outside into the parking lot and he adds, “Are you sure you don’t have any dirt on Mark? I don’t want to set my sister up with someone with a bad reputation.”
God, I wish I had something to tell him. I wish Mark had fucked up in high school and gotten into a fight, was busted for drugs, or had done anything I could use to persuade Ethan to change his mind, but from what I know, Mark is a decent guy. There’s no reason for him not to take Maddie out, and there’s no reason for me to stand in their way.
“Even if I said yes, are you really going to consider my opinion? I’m not the best person to take advice from on this.”
He chuckles, tilting his face toward the sky to catch the sun. “You’re right, but I’m asking anyway. After the whole Michael situation, I just don’t want her to get heartbroken again, and if Mark has any playboy tendencies, I’m confident you’d be able to fish them out, you know? You excel at being a player. What’s the saying? It takes one to know one?”
Stating the obvious has never bothered me before, and here I am acting like a total idiot wanting some sort of acceptance from Ethan, which is pointless. With all the bullshit he’s seen me pull? All of the girls I’ve used for a night only to discard? It’d be impossible to redeem myself in his eyes.
It doesn’t matter anyway.
Maddie and I aren’t in a relationship.
We never will be.
This is physical and nothing more.
“No, he’s a good guy.” The sentence tastes sour on my tongue, but I swallow the bitterness and force myself to say the next words. “You should set them up.”