Page 69 of Pet: Torment

It’s frustrating that I can’t fight for him. What’s even more frustrating is that I don’t feel as liberated as I thought I would, being free of the bond—of Remus. I remember vividly the night he revealed the truth about it to me. There was no regret, only determination, specifically, in his refusal to live without me. It’s because he chose to pursue those feelings that we are in this mess.

“He told me he loved me,” I whisper.

Ezra tenses and faces me. I have his full attention, and his features are a mixture of shock and pity.

“It was right before he left. We were fighting because what being bonded meant. He told me he refused to live without me and that he loved me…that I didn’t need to understand why. I just needed to accept it,” I say, laughing at the memory.

At the time, I was so angry that the message didn’t quite register. And afterwards, my anger still lingered so much and I hated myself for the reaction I was having to his words. But now, the moment has been stolen from us as if it never existed, and I can’t go back. I can’t tell him that I might be feeling the same way.

“Do you feel the same?” Ezra asks, as if reading my thoughts.

I shrug, unable to hold his gaze.

“I haven’t lived long enough to even know what love is. My parents hated each other, and my brother sold me out to therebel army.” My body reacts the same way it did when I thought about Remus’s words to me. “But…I think I didn’t hate him,” I finish.

Silence drifts between us as Ezra tries to find the right words. But he can’t.

“Where is he now?” I ask, hoping to change the subject.

“He’s in the capital. He and Xion had to take care of something,” he says.

“And your mother? Still no sign of her?” I ask.

Ezra shakes his head.

“Whatever happened between her and Remus, she didn’t escape unscathed. I don’t know where she could possibly be. But it gives us a chance to test your ring theory,” he says.

“Test?” I ask.

“We’re looking into it. If you’re right, and the rings are what’s holding all of this in place, maybe removing or even weakening them will help,” he says.

“What if Xion’s theory is right? What if she is running from someone, and they manage to find her here?” I ask.

“Whoever is out there is after her, notXyrannis. And for now, she is nowhere to be found. This is more than likely our only chance to try to get Remus back. We’ll cross the other bridge if we come to it.”

I shake my head.

“You really don’t know anything about your mother’s past? About her?” I ask in disbelief.

Ezra shakes his head.

“There was never a need,” he says.

“Seems like she’s manipulated you too on some level,” I scoff.

Ezra is silent, however, leaning back against the edge of the bed as he studies the rings.

“Maybe.”

Chapter Thirty

Iris

I’m back in the city. It doesn’t feel as awe-inspiring as it did with Remus by my side. It only feels intimidating and foreign. And for the first time since being here, I feel out of place. I only ever belonged because I was by Remus’s side. His smile alone when I entered the room made me feel like I belonged, like I was everybit a part of his society as he was. And now, he hates me so much that it’s dangerous to be in the same vicinity as him.

I haven’t seen him since that day at Xion’s. So much has happened within such a short period, but I’ve finally had the time to process it all as the days pass with no sign of his memory returning. If I’m going to fight for him, it has to be from a safe distance. Remus isn’t himself, and no amount of words can bring back the alien I’ve grown fond of. Going against his personal moral compass to kill Iriel himself was the indicator we needed to understand how bad this is.

His mother isn’t just manipulating their memories. She’s manipulating moods and emotions. She is a cruel being, and her actions have helped me understand Remus’s impartial attitude when speaking about her. She was probably never a mother to him. And if she’s done something like this to her own children, there’s no limit to what she would do to remain hidden and protect herself. I shudder to even entertain the thought.