Page 26 of Pet: Torment

“I heard it at the celebration,” I say, hoping he doesn’t see through my lie.

“Hm,” Remus murmurs.

I almost expect him to refuse to tell me anything since I still have yet to accept this place as my home. But the relationship Remus and I have is shifting. And it has something to do with the night of the party.

“It’s not much different than what I did on Earth. I make decisions that need to be made for the betterment of society,” he says. The answer sounds so matter-of-fact, as if Remus has never truly thought about it himself.

“Has that always been your path?Aureon? Could you not have done anything else?” I probe.

Remus chuckles as if it’s the silliest thing he’s ever heard.

“My path?” he repeats. “There is no other path for me, Iris. I am aCelestivinewhose very existence challenges everything this planet and other planets know. I’m not meant for anything else,” he says.

“Even as a kid? You never…I don’t know, dreamed of anything else?” I ask.

Remus shrugs.

“My childhood has long since passed. I don’t recall what it was like let alone what I wanted,” he says absentmindedly.

Now it’s my turn to watch him as pity washes over me for him. My childhood is what keeps the memories of my family and my life before alive. I think back to it more than once for simple things like favorite foods and remembering why I feel that way about it in the first place.

“You don’t long for that? For memories of your childhood?” I ask.

Remus doesn’t seem phased in the least at my line of questioning. If anything, it’s almost as if he is amused by it.

“You’re looking at me with more pity than I’ve ever seen in your eyes,” he says.

“I am not missing anything, Iris. I do not long for goals or dreams. My life has always been straightforward from the start. There is nothing else for me and no need to desire anything outside of this,” he says.

Usually, his explanations open my eyes to more than I thought possible. But this explanation only opens my eyes to Remus. And what I see is both sad and frightening.

“And your mother? Do you remember her being a part of your childhood?” I ask, curious if the woman who remains shrouded in mystery had anything to do with the way her son is now.

“Why is it that you are suddenly so curious about my past?” Remus counters.

“Just trying to understand you. How you became who you are,” I say.

Remus laughs. “And you think filling in the blanks of my childhood will do that? Will help you understand me more?” he asks.

I shrug.

“My childhood shaped a lot of who I am. The bravery, the stubbornness, I got it all from when I was a kid. Even my desperation to survive. It was the last thing my father said to me,” I say. I feel a tinge of sadness as I think of my father for the first time in years—of that day.

I look at Remus when I realize he doesn’t respond, but he isn’t looking at me. His attention is straight ahead, his brow slightly furrowed as he thinks. He’s distracted again, and it has something to do with what I just asked. I turn my attention back to the window as the city comes into view.

As much as I hate it, I feel pity for him. I don’t want to, but hearing him speak about a time that is so important in any living being’s life as if it never mattered, or even worse, never existed makes him unrelatable. My curiosity has morphed from what it was on Earth; simply understanding what he is, and the culture he ruled over. Now, it has evolved into something deeper. I want to know more about him.

“You know, not everyone has to grow in the same way humans did. Look at where it got them,” he says.

His words are a splash of cold water, dousing my mood. I let myself fall into the patience and kindness he exuded, forgetting that in reality, he is a heartless being who has difficulty understanding the simplest of emotions. And why wouldn’t he? He’s never felt the crushing weight of being weaker. He’s only known himself as this powerfulCelestivinethat he is.

We spend the rest of the trip in tense silence. For me, at least. I’m sure Remus hasn’t even picked up that what he said was upsetting. In his mind, it’s logical.

As the ship lands in the proper bay, we quietly exit the ship where the waiting Leviathan bow to both of us. Remus gently places his hand along the small of my back, a grin on his lips as he looks at me. Our conversation earlier hasn’t affected him in the least. His mind is still on his day and his duties, I realize. And I suddenly understand just how dangerous it is that Remus and I have bonded.

And how crucial it is that I understand not who, but what he is before it’s too late.

Chapter Twelve