Page 23 of Pet: Torment

His home is eerily quiet. And though it comes alive with my presence, I still feel an aching loneliness eating away at me. I want more than anything to be how I was before last night, with at least an ounce of willpower to allow me to be happy that I’m alone. But I’m not. And the longer I go in search of him, the more irritation I feel at him for leaving me alone after last night.

The whole ordeal was overwhelming. Attending a celebration with his people, meeting another human who has been taken as a lover to one of the Divine Three, and understanding themeaning of the wordAureon. I release a bitter chuckle as I recall Noah’s explanation of the word.

It means “god” in the Leviathan language. They believe Remus is a god. And according to Noah, he still has bits and pieces of him that he has kept from me, even if I’ve seen what he’s capable of through the resistance. I’ve only ever known Remus to have patience. The only time he lost any form of control was when he bonded us. I can’t imagine him being anything past that. I don’t want to. It forces me to realize just how insignificant I am.

As I make my way into the kitchen, I immediately notice the small note waiting for me on the counter. Excitement courses through me as I reach for it, my eyes falling over the neat handwriting that can only be Remus’s.

“Breakfast is in the fridge. I’ll be back soon.”

Disappointment courses through me as I flip the note over to reveal the blank backside. I release a huff of irritation, dropping the note back to its place on the counter before making my way to the fridge. It takes a moment for the appliance to recognize my heat signature as I use the gestures taught to me to attempt to open it. And just as Remus said in his note, there’s a glass container with a neatly made breakfast in it for me.

I chuckle to myself as I pull it from the shelf. Even in my new form of captivity, he makes sure I’m well-fed.

I frown as the words suddenly feel foreign in my mind.

Captivity.

As much as I want to see it that way, Remus proved last night that he meant his words to me. I am no longer a captive. I am his equal. He let me roam, he let me converse with whoever, and he never questioned me about it. He gave me more freedom than I’ve ever had in his care. No matter how bitter I am, Remus’s intentions when he found me in the blight compared to now have changed significantly.

At this point, I have no idea what he could possibly want from me. On Earth, it was amusement. It was a constant desire to challenge me because he was bored. And somewhere along the way, his boredom shifted into the desire he has now. But this is his home. This is his domain, his conquering of the Earth complete. As I wander around his house all alone, I find myself wondering where exactly I fit into his life now. I still don’t know what exactly the bond between us means or brings. But if Noah’s fears are to be heeded, it can be dangerous. I need to be careful with Remus.

I shiver slightly as I think of the day we bonded, when Remus looked at me with that same emotionless gaze as he tried to understand me. All the time we were together, I never realized just how honest he was being—how confused he was to watch my emotional responses. Now, he has a direct link to my mind that he claims not to have accessed. I’m beginning to fear the day he decides to do so.

If only I knew more about him or even his mother. TheAureonwho came before him. It doesn’t make sense to me that even though he and his siblings have returned, she hasn’t bothered to show herself. It makes me wonder if we could have gotten away with killing Ezra in the resistance. It doesn’t look like she would have come for him. And according to Remus, she despises this world. Or rather, this plane.

I laugh aloud at the ridiculousness of that phrase. Noah and Remus use it so nonchalantly without explaining what it means. What manner of existence could she be? The woman who birthed and raised Remus and placed rings around this planet?

I quietly push away the food, my appetite all but gone as I think of the uncertainty that lies in my future. This is the first time I’ve been left completely alone, and instead of relief, I feel vulnerable. I feel…uncertain. I feel a need to be around Remus.

As I recall his kiss last night, I slowly bring my fingers to my lips. My body warms from the memory, as it now craves more than his presence. And as much as I want to resent myself for this feeling, I can’t. Not after the suffering I felt from traveling here. Not after the weakness of not letting him touch me. Now that it has been remedied, I am helpless.

I quietly stand from the counter, looking around the empty home in confusion as I quickly stuff away the useless emotions. They won’t help me now. They’ll only hinder me as I try to find my footing in this new world—this new life.

I’m here again. In this vast land that means nothing to me. But it cannot be real. The sky is a celestial wonderland that stretches beyond my vision. It looks nothing like the sky of Earth. And it looks nothing like Xyrannis’s.

“…Remus…”

There it is again. The voice that is looking for me. Or rather, for Remus. It’s urging me to remember. It wants me to tell it where I am…where I’ve been. But I don’t have the answers it seeks.

I am not Remus.

A soft stroke on my cheek pulls me from my nightmare. It’s warm, and my body reacts to it instantly as it soothes every bit of nerves that sits within me. It washes away the nightmare, thediscomfort, the chill. And I slowly open my eyes as I desire to be closer to it.

Remus is back.

He’s watching me with a strange expression combined with that ethereal gaze, his demeanor strange as he studies me. I note that his eyes linger in places that don’t make sense to me. It’s an action I’ve associated with him, learning me in new ways. But it doesn’t make me as anxious as it once did. It lets me know that he is still the same Remus I am accustomed to. Not the frightening being Noah warned me about.

Remus’s touch drifts to my lips, his thumb running over my bottom lip lightly as he speaks.

“You were having a bad dream,” he says.

I almost groan as he pulls his fingers from my face. It’s as if my body can no longer control itself now that it has had a taste of him once again. And just as the thought crosses my mind, I realize I feel much better than I did earlier. My body feels light and well-rested, and my breathing is even. I am much more relaxed now that he has returned.

I slowly sit up, and Remus follows the movement with his eyes, but he doesn’t speak. Something about him is different. Usually, in this situation, he would at least awaken me with the feel of his lips over my breasts or his fingers inside of me especially after I begged him to take me to oblivion last night. But he’s purposely keeping his touch brief, as if he’s afraid he’s going to hurt me.

Since leaving Earth, I have been coping with the fragile state of my body and mind, keeping Remus at arm’s length as I suffered alone. It’s obvious a huge part of that suffering was the distance between Remus and me. And as he continues to watch me, slowly moving himself away from me, I am forced to face the truth.

This is my home now, and I need Remus to acclimate to it.