Page 30 of Pet: Torment
Sky scoffs, shaking her head. She moves past me to the bench, leaning back to feel the sun on her face as she speaks.
“It isn’t worth anything being right, Iris. It only makes our reality all the more fucked,” she says. “Iriel should die for everything he did. But he’s up there with aliens who wiped out a mountainside in minutes while killing anyone who opposed them, getting his fair shake from Leviathan, who weren’t even there,” she says bitterly.
Silence drifts between us, and she opens her eyes to look at me.
“And your brother? What became of him?” she asks.
Now, it’s my turn to look away. Anger blooms in my chest, revealing to me my own feelings against my brother. I am still resentful, just as Remus pointed out the other night.
“Nothing until I decide,” I say.
“Ezra was right. He adores you,” she says, pulling my attention.
“What?” I ask.
“Remus. The cold, unfeeling ruler has a soft spot,” she says.
I bite my tongue against the urge to tell her that Ezra is the same. I’m sure where she is right now, she doesn’t see it that way. Her eyes shift to the collar of my shirt, and I know she is looking at the symbol Remus and I share. She stands, closing the distance between us to pull my top slightly to the side, revealing more of the symbol.
“From the moment you walked into the resistance, we were screwed. Even Ezra knew but kept it from me. You were right about him…about them,” she says gently.
“We were both right in the end,” she says, releasing my shirt.
Her eyes fill with unshed tears as she watches me, and I suddenly realize she is fighting against the inhibitor. Anger ripsthrough me as I take in her state. She’s here, but not with her own free will. She isn’t able to fully communicate how she wants. My mind shifts to my thoughts earlier, and I feel disgust at myself for becoming so enraptured in Remus’s affection and kind gestures that I momentarily forget what we’ve been through to get here.
Sky laughs, pulling me from my thoughts as she shifts her attention to the building Remus and the others are in, planning for Iriel’s trial.
“Don’t feel sad for me, Iris. I should be up there alongside Iriel for the things I did to one of their precious rulers…as should you. But that wouldn’t sit well with our captors, and so, we must endure this hell as a result. This won’t last forever, eventually our mortality will catch up to us,” she says bitterly.
I smile at her words. I find comfort in them, I realize. I’ve told Remus before that my life is fleeting compared to his. Especially now that I know he doesn’t even recall his childhood. I can’t imagine how he’ll feel once I’m gone or how the bond will affect him. But if the way he feels about lacking a childhood or direction in life is any indicator, he’ll move on quickly and eventually forget I ever existed.
Chapter Fourteen
Iris
My days and nights are spent in the room Remus made for me. I don’t know what it is about this room that calms me so much, but it is where I spend most of my time if I’m not outside exploring. It’s been a week since Iriel’s trial date was set and two days since it began. Per the Leviathan custom, the Leviathan’sAureonmust always be in attendance. And so, I haven’t seen Remus during the day at all. And by the time he returns, I’m already asleep.
It’s given me plenty of time to think about my lot in life, especially since Sky and I were able to converse the other day about what was left behind. Seeing her and talking with her was refreshing, and it made me realize just how much Remus must care for me to have turned a blind eye so quickly to all of my offenses against him and his empire.
I release a deep breath, pulling my knees to my chest before resting my cheek on them as I stare into the night sky. For once,Llorais not visible in the atmosphere. But I can still see the bright twinkle of a different galaxy bathed across the night sky. I wonder which bright lights are planets—which worlds Remus has visited and made a part of his empire.
Or which world is the world Remus himself came from.
I laugh to myself as I think of the conversation we had just the other day on the way to the capital. I can’t imagine not remembering my childhood. It’s what shaped me into who I am today. It’s what I look back on when I’m happy or sad, and it’s what I dream of when I close my eyes at night. It holds some of my most precious memories.
But for Remus, it was so long ago that he doesn’t recall anything about it, making him seem even less relatable than he was before. It also sheds more light on his personality. He is an omnipotent being with no memory of being small or weak. He has no memory of wanting anything other than ruling an entire race for generations and constantly going to war for it. And he has no plans beyond that.
“That is the purpose for which I was created.”
At the time, I was stunned by all the information as it shed light on the being who had invaded our world. So, his words didn’t stand out to me. But now, as I think back on it andcombine it with everything he’s said since, it’s unnerving how emotionless he is. He not only doesn’t experience them in the way we do, he also doesn’t have anything to look back on or forward to. He has nothing to build on.
He just…is.
And for whatever reason, he’s always felt that way. It makes me wonder if I’m the first thing he’s ever desired outside of his duty asAureon. And as I think of our conversations and his questions each of those times, I shiver from the reality I was faced with at the time. It must be why he’s so fiercely protective of his siblings. Outside of his purpose asAureon, they are the closest thing he has to…humanity, for lack of a better word. They are the only personal connection he has.
It makes me wonder even more about his mother. He doesn’t like speaking about her, I’ve noticed. Anytime I ask, he answers my question with a question, refusing to elaborate on her lack of presence or role in his life. Even in the past, when he shared his innermost thoughts with me, Remus never spoke of his mother in a fond light the way he did his siblings.
He speaks factually about her. He has no emotional connection to her, and I wonder if that has anything to do with his lack of emotional understanding.