Page 31 of Pet: Torment

I quietly stand, making my way to the shelf that holds my mother’s necklace. The metal is blemish-free as I pick it up, opening it. My family’s faces look back at me, smiling as each of them is unaware of the future that awaits them. I take in my dad’s smiling expression. My memories of him are good ones. His last words to me are the reason I fought so hard every day to exist. Watching him use his last moments to ensure I survive is something I can’t squander. It just doesn’t compute that Remus has nothing like this with his mother.

I shift my attention to Cypress. My stomach knots as I think of our last moments together. In the face of defeat, he let Iriel takeme away as a shield. Even his childhood shaped who he ended up being.

The resentment I feel outweighs any sense of sadness. Especially when I think of his cold expression when he needlessly killed Jude. I quickly blink away my tears, placing the locket back on the shelf. I’m still not ready to put it back on.

I quietly take in each of the objects Remus brought back from Earth. Each of them has some form of meaning behind them. I’m curious what Remus felt through the bond to carve out such an elaborate room specifically for me that involves my home world. As my fingers drift over the hairpin given to me, I think of the moment it was given.

We were getting ready for the celebration of Xion’s arrival. I wonder if he thought about it when he placed it in my hair or if it was just a reaction—his way of comforting me while telling me my world was not going to be given a place within his empire. Regardless, I crushed any bit of my planet’s chance when I pulled the trigger that I believed was going to liberate us.

It feels like it was so long ago at this point. Earth feels like it was nothing more than a fever dream compared to what I’ve seen onXyrannis. Remus was right.

Confusion washes over me as my attention is gripped by something that wasn’t in here a few days ago. It’s new. It’s a floating orb that’s shaped like Earth. It slowly rotates on the shelf it’s floating in, and the more I focus on it, the more I notice. There are small bits of illumination on random continents in different regions.

I narrow my gaze, slowly reaching for one of the dots. My finger brushes against it, and the room is suddenly illuminated in a hologram. I release an audible gasp, stepping back as I am transported back to the villa I woke up in after months of being under an inhibitor. I blink in confusion, trying to separate the technology from reality, but it seems so real…I can even feel thewarm breeze. The sky has a warm glow over it, and the grass blows beneath my feet. I can even smell the river in the distance.

“What?” I say aloud when suddenly, in the distance, I see a woman. Her back is to me as she strolls through the grass, lazily walking in a line. My eyes widen when I realize it’s me. My hair is much shorter than it is now, the breeze bristling it lightly as I walk in the distance.

I look around the room, finding the floating orb in the hologram, my curiosity taking over. As it rotates, I focus more on the regions with illuminated dots. I note there’s one in the middle of the ocean, and I reach for it.

“There’s no way…” I murmur to myself.

My surroundings shift, and I am back on the beach. I laugh aloud, tears burning my eyes as I take in the familiar scenery. It’s the beach I recovered on. I never thought I’d see it again. Once again, I see myself in the distance, sitting near the shore, digging my toes in the sand.

These must be the locations Remus and I visited on Earth. But somehow, they are from Remus’s point of view. All those times, he was watching me from a distance. This is how he sees me. My skin warms from the thought as I continue to watch myself from his eyes.

It’s so intimate.

I quietly reach for another location when suddenly I feel the sensation that signifies Remus is close. I turn towards the doorway just in time to see him stepping in. He must be coming straight from the trial. He’s dressed in his usual clothing he wears among his people, his hair held out of his face by a pendant. His eyes are aglow with excitement as he steps into the room, his attention on me in the hologram.

“Beautiful, isn’t she?” he asks, looking at the version of me who sits on the beach.

“Having lost everything and been betrayed by her people and her blood. Yet so strong…so much desire to live,” he says, smiling.

I quietly watch him. He remembers those days fondly, as I’m sure it was exciting for him to break down my world while showing me how useless it was to fight. But he doesn’t wait for me to respond as he turns to the small orb, swiping his hand over it to remove the hologram from the wall.

The room is cast in the warm, ambient glow as the lights come up, and Remus turns to look at me, excitement twinkling in his gaze. Foreign emotions that I can’t pin form within me as he directs his excitement to me. It was the same the night of the celebration. He was visibly bored and detached when I walked back into the main hall, but the moment his eyes fell on me, life came to his features.

It’s almost intoxicating knowing this side of Remus is reserved for me.

I pray it’s the bond that makes me feel this way.

“Have you been in here all day?” Remus asks, pulling me from my thoughts.

He gently strokes my cheek with his thumb as he waits for my answer.

“There’s nothing else to do,” I whisper.

Remus smiles at my reaction to his proximity, probably aware of the effect he has on me. But he doesn’t say anything about it as he moves past me to inspect the room. His eyes fall briefly to the pile of books and paper near the window. And he laughs softly as he realizes what I was doing with it.

“If you wanted to continue with learning the language, you could have asked,” he says, turning to face me. “There are better ways than mapping out the vocabulary with books from other worlds. It will only confuse your terminology.”

“Would you like a tutor?” he asks.

“You’re not going to teach me anymore?” I ask. The words are out of my mouth before I can think of how desperate they make me sound. But Remus doesn’t point it out, and I am grateful for it as he moves to the shelves that hold his gifts to me.

“I’m afraid I won’t have the time for a while. With Iriel’s trial and everything else that comes with beingAureon, I am grateful to have returned to the longer daysXyrannisprovides so that I can see you at least a few hours out of them,” he says.

Once again, his words make me feel warm as he voices his desire.