Page 41 of Pet: Torment

Her cheeks turn a deeper shade of red as she looks back at the shaved ice in her hands, quickly bringing the spoon to her lips, and I have to bite back the laugh threatening to spill from my lips once again. She doesn’t know how much I crave moments like this. They force me out of my usual mental state, giving me a glimpse into emotions I otherwise would not understand or even bother having. It pulls me from the usual routine, forcing me into a different situation—one that I revel in.

I would do anything to hold onto this feeling forever. I only ever feel this way when she is around. And I’m much too selfish to let it go.

“Do you like it?” I ask. She nods, poking her spoon into the soft ice before bringing another scoop to her mouth. It’s an innocent action, and yet it has me wanting to end the day early and spend the rest of it between her legs.

“So…what else do you like to eat that you don’t have to?” she asks.

The question catches me off guard, and I have to compose myself from the thoughts currently swirling around in my mind as I try to answer her question.

I laugh to myself, bringing my spoon to my lips.

“I’ve never really thought about it if I’m being honest. I haven’t eaten much over the years,” I say.

Now Iris laughs. “Don’t you ever miss the joy of tasting?”

There she goes again, comparing me to whatever human qualities she can think of to make me seem normal. But I don’t recall eating, really. Once I matured, I no longer needed physical food for sustenance. And I don’t recall my life before that. But I won’t tell her that. It would only shock and confuse her further.

I shake my head.

“No. But I do appreciate seeing you enjoy it,” I say, looking at her. Her cheeks rose as she looks away from me, poking at the shaved ice. She always gets quiet when I’m honest about my feelings.

“Is where you’re going dangerous?” Iris asks, looking up at me. I know she is changing the subject, but I don’t mind.

I shake my head, debating how much I should reveal to her about where I am headed and why. I don’t want to alarm her, but I did promise her I would start treating her as my equal.

“Are you worried for me?” I ask, knowing she would rather change the subject once again than answer. But she doesn’t. She studies the snow cone in her hands, having an inner battle with herself.

“A little,” she says. “It just feels wrong…like something isn’t right.”

I don’t hide the shock that forms on my features. And for once, I don’t know what to say. And somehow, she finds humor in that, turning back to her snow cone smiling as she takes another bite.

Iris

Something terrible is coming. I can feel it. I don’t know what it is, and I don’t know where it’s coming from, but everything feels so fragile right now, especially since Remus abruptly told me he was leaving when we haven’t even resolved our argument from the other night. We’re not on stable ground, which means whatever reason he is leaving is urgent.

I pull in a deep breath as I look up into the night sky.Llorais visible again, the light reflecting off it illuminating the snow surrounding me in a soft glow.

Remus has been acting strange all day, starting with avoiding Iriel’s trial to spend the day with me. Remus has never been one to avoid his duties asAureon. And the fact that he’s leaving in the midst of it makes me feel even more uneasy about his decision.

Something is off with him, but we don’t share enough trust between us to get to the root of it. Even today, he would rather change the subject than tell me why he’s leaving—or where. So much about him is different since arriving at Xyrannis, but it’s concerning at this point. He’s changing in ways I can’t explain, and the only time I see a glimpse of him I can relate to being human are moments like today.

“Let’s not think about each other’s differences. Let us just enjoy each other’s company.”

His disguised plea to not argue any further rings in my mind. Even he is unsure about the purpose of him leaving. But he won’t admit it. Both of us are speaking to one another in riddles, leaving us to decipher our true feelings through the bond.

I quietly stand from my place in the snow, making my way back inside. The house is quiet, but I know exactly where Remus is. So, as I shed my layers, I make my way to the living room. Sure enough, he’s sitting quietly as he reads a book, his eyes shifting over the page.

He’s a beautiful being. I’ve always acknowledged that. But seeing him with his attention elsewhere gives me more time to admire him. My eyes shift to his white strands. I’ve become so used to it as his defining feature that spending the day with him with his disguised look was unnerving. Almost as unnerving as the constant compliments and affection he tossed my way.

I step into the living room, and Remus closes his book, lifting his gaze to meet mine. My heart speeds up as a small smile graces his lips while he takes me in. It’s an empowering feeling knowing that Remus only ever makes this expression for me. It’s intoxicating.

He gives me his full attention as I come to stand over him.

“You’ve come to me…again,” he says, giving me a full smile.

I swallow the sudden lump in my throat as I force myself to see beyond my planet. I force myself to think about the direction of Remus’s anger. It is always because of my judgment. And for some reason, I feel the need to say this before he goes.

“It was unfair of me to judge you by human standards. Especially now that I’ve seen your nature…when you’ve never even had a personal desire of your own. I appreciate all you’ve done to help me overcome my losses, even though you don’t understand it. And I’m sorry I’ve never returned the favor. I’ll try harder to understand you more when you come back. But I can’t promise you’ll get the result you want,” I say.