Page 37 of Pet: Torment
“I will not apologize for protecting what’s mine. And you are mine.” he says.
I gasp as the symbol we share heats up against my flesh, taking another step back. My legs give out from the mixture of fear and adrenaline, and Remus doesn’t catch me. He watches me bend to his will before kneeling to my height, his fingers gently pressing under my chin.
“I love you, Iris. You don’t need to understand it. You just need to accept it.”
Chapter Seventeen
Iris
I avoided parts of Remus’s home in the earlier days of my arrival just because I didn’t want to familiarize myself with this place. I didn’t want anything to make this place feel like home to me. But like everything that comes with Remus, my curiosity overtook my stubbornness, and eventually, I discovered a room that Ihave categorized as one of Remus’s “happy places.” It is where he goes when we fight, when he wants to avoid me, or first thing in the morning when I am still asleep. It is also where I get my reading materials when I am in the mood to practice the native language.
It’s his library.
Remus’s library consists of books from all walks of alien life. And like most rooms in Remus’s home, part of the ceiling and the wall are made of glass, with a fireplace in the center of the room. It allows me to keep warm while having an overlook of the stunning landscape. Though the library is modest in size, everything about it is tailored to Remus’s tastes, including the detailed carvings that make up the bookshelves.
As I look at each of the books that have been neatly put away, I note that some books have peculiar shapes and forms. I pull one that is shaped like a scroll off a shelf. Three holographic pages appear at once, adding to the foreign way other cultures have created reading. I don’t recognize any of the characters as part of the Leviathan language, so I know immediately this book is from another alien world.
I chuckle bitterly to myself, curious if this book is from a culture Remus respected enough to leave alone or wiped out. It makes me think of what Sky said that day on the roof about fighting amongst ourselves when there was so much out there—so much more than us. Earth was just a tiny blip on Remus’s road of conquering. In hindsight, Remus only showed up to Earth because Iriel began to turn on his people offering aid to humans to “level” the playing field when in reality, he was pissing off his leader and setting us up for a hard fall without even realizing it.
Thinking about it in those terms makes me see the other side of this situation. Remus never planned anything for Earth. He never intended to be there physically past initially invading. Iwas a shock to him, and his decision to bond with me and take me back to his home world was his way of ensuring I never left his life once I became part of it. I release a deep breath, placing the scroll back as I make my way to the other shelves that look more like books I’m familiar with.
Remus and I are at an impasse.
It’s ironic, the day Remus explained to me what that word meant was the day his obsession grew past the point of his own control, placing this curse on me. It was also the day I realized he was observing me in real time because I defied his understanding of my race. And now, I am using the word to describe his feelings for me.
“I love you, Iris. You don’t need to understand it. You just need to accept it.”
I hate how my body reacts when I think of those words. My chest tightens, and my cheeks warm as I recall the determination in his eyes when confessing that to me. But I don’t need to accept anything, especially his twisted version of love. If he hadn’t revealed to me the truth about my “decision” to come, I may have allowed myself to enjoy his revelation, maybe even indulged in it myself with this new life and “freedom.”
I release an irritated breath as I look at the newest book I pulled from the shelf, tensing when I suddenly feel Remus’s presence.
“So this is why my library is always disorganized,” he says as I turn to face him.
Like always, my body reacts to his presence. I feel stronger and more relaxed. It’s like a weight is instantly lifted off of me when he enters a room, and now is no exception as he approaches. Usually, at this time, he would be at Iriel’s trial. I’m assuming the direction our argument took is to blame for his decision to skip.
“You never said I couldn’t use them,” I murmur, moving to put the book in my hands back on the shelf, but Remus’s gentle tone stops me as he speaks.
“That’s because it isn’t an issue,” he says.
He steps past me, his movements graceful as he grabs the scroll-shaped book I was looking at earlier, moving it to its rightful place, and I eye him curiously as he does so. He was like this on Earth—organized. Everything has a place in his mind and has to remain there. There is no room for chaos in his life. He was the same way on Earth when I was spying on him. All of his notes and plans were perfectly organized in their rightful place.
Remus slowly faces me, his expression unreadable as he studies me. I quickly notice the usual luminance in his gaze is dulled as he looks at me, giving me no indication of his feelings, seeing as I’ve never seen his eyes like this before. He’s never been this neutral. It’s more unnerving, I realize, since it follows his confession last night, including his refusal to live without me.
His eyes shift to the book in my hands, and he reaches for it, pulling it from my grasp. His eyes shift over the title before he opens it, looking at its content.
“Still trying to learn a language of a world you don’t want to call home?” he asks.
I know he’s just trying to get a rise out of me. I reach for the book, snatching it out of his hands.
“Not trying. I know enough to read,” I say.
Remus looks at me in shock, smiling as he steps closer to me. “That book is from an era before my mother’s reign. When the Leviathan still used tools similar to Earth. The language is different than what you’ve been taught,” he says.
I bite the inside of my cheek as my frustration mounts. After everything that was said last night, he still teases me.
“What do you want, Remus?” I ask.
He thinks about his response for a moment before responding.