Page 39 of Pet: Torment
“I am leaving tomorrow. And I won’t be back for a while.”
His words are like a splash of cold water, making my stomach twist. I didn’t realize how lulled into peace I was with his speech until now.
“What?” I ask. “For how long? Where are you going?”
“A place beyond this one,” is all he says.
“Can you not take me with you?” I ask.
Remus smiles. “No. Where I am going is not…compatible with you.”
“So you’re just going to leave me here? After all of that? After everything we said yesterday? After—” I trail off as Remus stands.
The water droplets clinging to him slowly ripple as they dissipate from his body. He stands over me, pushing my hair from my face.
He smiles, revealing his teeth. “Are you going to miss me? After all that bravado?”
Warmth washes over me. It’s different from before. It isn’t overwhelming. It’s pleasant, like the rays from the sun. It encompasses my entire being, and I suddenly feel calm, as it washes over me from my head to toe.
I can’t respond. I don’t want to. I don’t want to give in to the warmth I feel just from being in his presence. I can’t decipher what it is as our emotions mingle, and I am at the mercy of his. But he doesn’t press me. He reaches behind him, his hair suddenly falling around him as he pulls an elegant hairpin from his hair.
He gently tucks my hair behind my ear, placing the pin expertly before stepping back to admire his handiwork.
“Like everything I do, I am doing this to protect you. And hopefully when I return, we can try harder to understand one another.”
He steps back, gripping my hand in his, and I tense when I feel tension. He’s pulling me towards the water.
“Let’s not think about our differences for now. Let us just enjoy each other’s company.”
Chapter Eighteen
Remus
I am not well. I don’t know if it’s from bonding with Iris and experiencing new emotions or my lack of feeding, but I am not well. My entire life has been dedicated to self-control. I pride myself on being able to control every aspect of my being. Butlately, my control has waned, and I can no longer put off seeing the one person who can explain the reasoning behind it.
My mother.
I shift my attention to Iris, quietly watching her as she moves around the small town in awe. Her eyes are wide as she takes in the everyday Leviathan on this side ofXyrannis. She’s completely forgotten her anger towards me as her curiosity takes over, and I can’t help but smile as I study her. It’s refreshing to observe someone who is seeing something for the first time. Her excitement stems from small things like flowers or animals she hasn’t seen before—whereas these things have become blind to my eye.
She has no idea how much she has influenced me simply by being curious. And more recently, thanks to her questions about my life and childhood, I’ve been forced to look at something other than the future and realize I don’t know my past. My life is a blur. I always thought it was because I’ve lived for so long, but since my return this time around toXyrannis, bits and pieces of my memory have come back to me that make me uneasy.
There are things I don’t recall ever doing, but reliving the moments in my mind feels so real. And it has begun influencing my control. More often, I’ve been getting headaches that end with whatever object is nearest to me being splintered. Even my feeding is beyond my control. Taking a small amount is no longer an option, forcing me to not bother with it at all for fear of harming Iris.
I wanted to wait until Iriel’s trial was over to leaveXyrannis, but with everything else, my control on the bond is slipping as well. As a result, Iris’s emotions have been bleeding into my own, making it impossible to remain focused. The only time I feel any sense of control, of my usual self, is in Iris’s presence.
Or rather, my desire for her outweighs my stressors.
So instead of attending the last few days of Iriel’s trial, I’ve decided to spend it with Iris before departing. We only just left the oasis I brought her to earlier to come into the neighboring town. I figured she would enjoy this town. It is far from the capital, and not as populated or busy. The Leviathan here live a slow and quiet life. I doubt they are even aware of the trial happening right now.
I’m pulled from my thoughts as Iris bends in the middle of the street to take in a growing flower patch.
She’s always been this way—curious.
Her hair falls to her upper back and has a slight wave to it as it dries from our earlier bout in the river. I chuckle to myself as I recall the way she struggled to swim. Her knowledge only extended to her younger self before we invaded. So most of our time in the river was spent teaching her to tread water. I shift my attention to her hair, where my pin sits.
She doesn’t know just how precious that hairpin is to me. It’s made from a mineral I discovered on the planetFialta. I infused it with a small piece of my essence when I was freed from my mother’s watchful eye and discovered the extent of my power. To me, it signifies my freedom and my growth. But it brings me joy to see her wear it. In the past, she would have thrown it out without a second thought because of her anger. But now, she wears it and allows me the small request of enjoying one another’s company. She doesn’t realize how different she is now.
“Would you like something sweet?” I ask, moving past her.