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Moans I didn’t know I was capable of spill from my throat as two, then three, fingers pump and stretch my hole.

Between that and the hot, wet mouth on my cock, it’s hard to fathom why I haven’t tipped over the edge.

My only guess is the desire to feel Lennon’s dick inside me outweighs the desire to come.

A man can only take so much though.

“Need you in me,” I rasp. “Now. Please .”

I momentarily regret my begging when Lennon’s mouth and fingers are suddenly gone, leaving me empty, restless, and panting with desire. Though my torture is all but forgotten when I see him slicking his gorgeous cock.

Kneeling above me, he works himself in long, smooth strokes, swiping his thumb over the crown in a deliciously seductive way that has me licking my lips in anticipation. Once his thick length is glistening from root to tip, he lines himself up and starts to push inside.

“Breathe out,” Lennon murmurs through a jaw that’s locked just as tight as mine.

I do my best to follow instructions, willing my body to give in to the foreign pressure. Lennon has to stop and start several times, but once he’s finally seated his hooded eyes fall shut, jaw slightly parted as a shudder wracks his body.

“Holy—” He cuts himself off as he goes utterly still, not even breathing from what I can tell.

“Lennon? You okay babe?”

“I thought your grip was firm.” He shifts his head slightly back and forth, eyes still squeezed shut. “This is…”

“I’ll feel even better when you move.” I bite back a chuckle, amused at my ability to recall the exact words he said the first time we fucked, which has me inadvertently clenching.

“I felt that, babe .” Lennon pins me with a stare that’s part daring, part feral.

“Hey, if you don’t like my nicknames, you should shut me up.”

“Good idea.” He pulls his hips back slowly, like he’s testing the glide, which only magnifies the friction between us. I bask in those little fissures as he takes a few short, tentative pumps, crying out when he thrusts deep enough to have me seeing stars.

“I like that sound.” Lennon grins as he rears back again, but instead of punching roughly forward he rolls his hips with exaggerated patience, so I feel each and every inch of his rigid cock as he gives it to me.

The pleasure is indescribable. A euphoria that ebbs and flows as we languidly writhe together, mouths fused in a kiss that has no beginning and no end.

One of us moans. The other whimpers. My toes curl and cramp as the head of his crown lazily grazes over my prostate, both of us shivering when that makes me clench around his shaft.

By some unspoken agreement we seem willing to hover in this prolonged state of bliss, leisurely rocking into one another as if we’re content to let our release find us instead of chasing it. Almost as if…

Holy shit.

Lennon’s making love to me.

I could tell what I meant to him even if he didn’t say the words, but this… This is everything. A home. A future. Everything.

The orgasm I didn’t intend to chase overpowers my body. My ass flutters around Lennon’s dick while mine, currently sandwiched between our bodies, shoots my release all over my chest .

Lennon pants into my mouth as he shatters inside me, collapsing onto my chest when his arms can no longer bear his weight. Hours later, he still hasn’t moved, and I’ve never been happier.

***

“I hate that you have to leave today.” I force myself to sit still as I watch Lennon pack his bag.

“The weekend did seem to go by too quickly.” His voice is softer than normal, his eyes carefully trained on his suitcase. He doesn’t want to go either. I wonder if that means he’d consider coming back, staying for longer than a weekend.

Last week, I told myself if he wasn’t willing to meet me halfway, to share my life the way I’m ready to share his, then I’d take that as a sign to walk away.

But he’s here, and last night’s confessions put us in a different place than we were before this trip.

Now it’s only a matter of comparing schedules to make a plan for the rest of my season.

After that, hopefully that property I plan to make an offer on and fix up will be ready to move in.

“What’s your schedule for the next month?” I ask as he zips his bag.

“The next month?” He stills and lifts his head to look at me. “I’ll be working.”

“Obviously,” I chuckle, feeling suddenly on edge, “but we should figure out which competitions you can make so I can make arrangements.”

“I thought you said you’d come back to Katah Vista?” He zips the bag and stands to his full height, his posture oddly stiff.

“I plan to, but I probably can’t get back between every competition.

I’ll need to find someone to drive my trailer from place to place after each event and that will free up a few days each week, but best case, that’ll take me a few weeks to organize.

And I’ll probably skip going back the weeks when you come to an event. ”

“Axel, this was a one-time deal. I can’t just pick up and leave the restaurant because you have a competition.”

I fight the urge to pull my brows together. “You wouldn’t be picking up on a whim, you’d be making a plan for things to run in your absence while you take a few days off here and there.”

“I can’t leave my business unattended.”

“You wouldn't be. You'd have trusted people there in your place. Isn't that why you're here now—you're trying out a solution for when the two locations are up and running?”

“I don't even know how well that worked yet, I can't count on it as a viable option. Besides, those two locations are ten minutes apart, juggling that won’t be rocket science, and as long as I’m close to both storefronts I can step in right away if needed.” He rests a hand on his cocked hip.

I take a deep breath, willing my voice to stay level. “They’re still two different locations, and unless they’ve figured out how to clone people, you can’t be in both places at once. You’ll have to trust someone else to manage in your absence.”

His nostrils flare as his eyes narrow to slits. “What’s your point?”

I jump off the bed and face off in front of him. “You can’t keep this up. Even if you don’t find help so you can come see me, you have to find help.”

He crosses his arms and scowls at me. “That would be convenient right? I’d be at your beckon call to support your career instead of concentrating on mine? ”

“That’s not at all what I said, and you know it. And what’s wrong with asking you to support both our careers, especially after last night.”

“What about last night?” He lifts his chin defiantly, like he’s daring me to say it again.

Is he for real right now? “You couldn’t get the words out but we both know what you were trying to say. You love me, too, yet you’re willing to give that up for your precious restaurant.” I shake my head in disgust.

He takes a deep breath and squints his eyes like he’s ready to let me have it, but lets the air out slowly before answering in a voice so soft and distant it makes my heart crack.

“You’re right. I do love you. That’s exactly why I’m not willing to walk away from my business.

Love makes you do illogical things, and giving up the only thing that guarantees my future is illogical. ”

Damn. I honestly expected his feelings for me to open his mind about balancing work with life, not slam that door in my face.

Mustering a calm I don’t feel, I take a measured breath. “I’m not asking you to give it up. I’m asking you to find a balance between it and me, to build a future together.” I step to him and pull him against my chest, wrapping my arms around him.

“Don’t you see?” He tenses. “Diverting my attention could jeopardize everything I’ve worked for, and I promised myself I wouldn’t let anything interfere with the plans I made. Especially not love.”

That would feel like a slap in the face if I didn’t understand why he felt that way. I’m not just going to accept it without a fight though. Setting my hands on his hips, I put some space between us, then cup his face so he can see the truth in my gaze.

“I’m not your father, Lennon. Don’t assume I’m going to make his mistakes. ”

His eyes are distant when they meet mine. Cloudy. “But I swore I wouldn’t repeat my mother’s, and if that means I have to choose between you and me, I choose me.”

“Why do you have to make a choice? Doesn’t the fact we love each other count for anything?” I brush what might be a tear away from his eye.

“Of course, it does. I’ve never been as tempted to take my focus off the business as I am right now, and that’s only true because of you and how I feel.”

“And how is that?”

His throat bobs as he swallows heavily. “I love you,” he whispers, bowing his head in defeat.

The fact he can’t look me in the eye when he says that erases the last of my composure.

I drop my hands from his face with a humorless laugh.

“You love me, but that’s not enough for you, is it?

Everything has to be on your terms. Your turf.

No compromise, no trying to build something together, take your conditions or leave them, right? ”

His head nods up and down once, just barely.

“You won’t give up your career for me, but I should give mine up for you. Cool. Glad we got that straightened out. I assume you can find your own way to the airport?” I brush past him and head to the door of the trailer.

“Where are you going?” He whirls around.

“I need some air.”

“Axel, please don’t be angry. Just because it won’t work now doesn’t mean it never can. Maybe when you’re done with competitions you can…”

“Don’t,” I cut him off. “I spent enough time watching my mom placate my dad’s selfishness and bad decisions to know you and I wouldn’t end up differently. We either meet in the middle or we go our separate ways.”

“I’m the opposite of your dad, Axel. I’m doing this because I don’t want to rely on you to support me.” He shakes his head back and forth as he blinks back tears.

“I never offered to support you, Lennon. I suggested we support each other. You’re not interested in that so… see you around.” I throw open the door and stomp outside, putting as much distance between us as I can.

To think I considered making this my last season just to see more of him. Fuck! I guess he’s right about one thing, love makes you act illogically. That’s one mistake I won’t make again.

Just in case, I wander aimlessly around the pit area for a few hours while people pack up and move out, giving him plenty of time to do the same.

By the time I make it back, there’s no trace of him, except for the lace briefs stashed in the bedside drawer.

I grab them in my fist, intending to throw them out, but I can’t bring myself to drop them in the trash.

Instead, I stuff them back in the drawer.

They’ll be a good reminder for why I should never, ever give anyone my heart again.