Chapter twelve

Axel

I drive a little slower on the ride back since I’m not sure when, if ever, I’ll have Lennon on my bike again, and I want to enjoy every second of it.

His chest pressed against my back; his arms wrapped securely around my waist; the occasional wandering hand that teases my abs…

It’s an intimacy I haven’t experienced before, and I like it enough to want more of it.

Deep down, I know that means he’s become important to me, although I have no clue what to do about that. I still have to travel, and he’s still committed to his work, so I’m pretty sure there’s no way this continues once I move to our next location.

I’d come back to see him if he had any interest in that.

Maybe even get a place of my own here so I have a spot to land between competitions.

That was on my mind even before meeting Lennon, and the idea that he lives in the town I could end up calling home has a certain appeal.

Beyond the sex thing, which seems to be working well for both of us, I like the way he challenges me.

I like that he can understand the pieces of my past I’ve shared with him.

Plus, he’s cool to hang out with. I think I’d be down to do that without the promise of sex if he was willing .

Wow, one day of just hanging out and I’m already game for more. That spiraled quickly.

I don’t usually find myself daydreaming about what could be—up to this point my life has gone exactly how I wanted it to—so there wasn’t any reason to wish for something different.

I wonder if this is how it works for people who don’t get to live their dream?

Their mind wanders off course, and they get lost in how perfect the fantasy could be.

Perfect would never happen with us, though.

Even if I gave up the circuit, which my body will force me to do at some point, Lennon is still a workaholic who’d rather be in his restaurant than literally anywhere else.

Hell, he’s only here now since I’m a temporary fixture, and once I’m gone, he’s sure to dive back into work.

I doubt that would change regardless of whether I come here between events or retire from competitions and put down permanent roots.

Retirement is another complication. I make good money, but not “retire before thirty and never work again,” money.

I need a second act, and if I start that in Katah Vista, what would I do?

All I know is riding, and while this is a great place to make a movie, the sport doesn’t have a huge presence here.

So yeah, as much as I’d like to keep something going between us, I don’t see—

What is that?

I slow just enough to read the giant sign on the side of the road, one of those mini billboard things with a headshot in the lower right corner.

It’s advertising property for sale, a massive plot over thirty acres, with a barn that looks big enough to house at least two or three jumps.

Maybe even a foam pit for learning new tricks.

What was it Blake said he did at the resort?

Mountain bike clinics? If there’s a market for that, maybe there’s one for dirt bikes?

Maybe the next phase of my career is coaching, just like Jace’s dad did for me.

I could get into that idea, especially if it gives me reason to stay here.

I wonder what Lennon would say about that.

Would it freak him out or make him happy?

Either way, it’s definitely something to think about.

I might have to take a closer look at it while he’s at work tomorrow.

All too soon, we pull up to my place and find Jace loading gear into his truck. “What are you packing for? We’ve got the house for five more days.”

“The sponsors caught wind of a few guys riding over in Utah before the next competition. They want to get some footage of you riding with them outside the competition setting. We leave first thing in the morning.”

My heart drops down to my stomach so fast I swear I’d lose my balance if I weren’t sitting on the bike. The hollow void left behind sparks a sense of hopelessness that leaves me feeling both heavy and cold, and more devastated than I have a right to be. “Tomorrow?”

A few minutes ago, I was on the verge of disrupting the life I’ve led for years just to see if there was a way to keep seeing Lennon.

To come home to each other after a day of work, to wake up together, hell, even to sit at the bar and watch him sling drinks in his sexy skirts. Now I see how unrealistic that is.

My life is too unpredictable to think of calling any one place home, at least right now, while I’m still committed to my sponsors and the upcoming season.

And while I was really looking forward to spending the next several nights with Lennon, this abrupt change in plans is a reminder of how futile such thoughts are.

I have no right to think about planting roots, not while I’ve got a team of people who live this nomadic life just to support me, and not because of a person who by all accounts is still a fuck buddy.

If I stayed another few days maybe things would be different, but given what Lennon confessed about his vow to support himself at any cost, it’s premature of me to think about a future he may not want.

It’s probably better that this be our last night together. After all, if I was willing to consider sticking close to him after just five nights, it’s safer to cut out now before I really get attached.

“Yeah, tomorrow,” Jace replies as I take off my helmet.

“The trails here are still too muddy so Utah makes sense. I’m going to pack up as much as I can tonight, so we don’t have to do it in the morning.

Trevor and Nick have already got the bikes in the trailers, now I’m packing the gear.

Want me to take anything for you?” he offers with a brief but not extremely subtle glance in Lennon’s direction.

It’s his way of giving me more time with Lennon, which I don’t deserve after the way I treated him. It makes me feel like a douche for not coming clean to Jace about him sooner. Any apologies will have to wait though, because I’m not giving up a second of the time we have left.

“Should I go?” Lennon’s voice is softer than usual, and I don’t think that’s because it’s muffled by the helmet. I hope it isn’t, anyway.

“No.” I help him off the bike then dismount myself, stowing our helmets on the handlebars. “I’ll pack some stuff real quick and Jace will take care of the rest so you and I can hang out.”

I nod at Jace, a silent thank you for the reprieve since we both know we’ll be having a hard conversation once it’s just us. Then Lennon and I make our way to my room, where I stare at my duffel bag like I can make it pack itself. Or disappear altogether, so I don’t have to pack at all.

“Anything I can help with?” Lennon’s resigned voice brings me out of my stupor.

“No.” I give a curt shake of my head. “I’m just not ready to live out of the trailer again, and packing means that’s where I’m headed. ”

“Where is this trailer, anyway? All that’s been in the driveway all week are trucks and bikes.”

Yanking open a drawer, I start transferring T-shirts into my bag.

“We parked them at the RV campground. Usually, we’d have stayed in them there, but Jace suggested an actual house, and now I’m wondering why we’ve never done that before.

The packing and unpacking part sucks, but it’s been nice to spread out. ”

He watches me stoically from his seat on the bed, cracking his knuckles. It’s so unlike him it nearly guts me, and I’m half tempted to say fuck it and ignore the sponsors so I can stay here and find out if Lennon’s anywhere near as attached to me as I am to him. Then he brings me back to reality.

“I can’t imagine living in a trailer. Even though I’m hardly there, I like being able to move around in my house.”

Right. His work comes first.

“It’s not so bad.” I do my best to sound unaffected by the reminder I’m just a fling.

“It’s got space for both my bikes in the back, and a living room, kitchen and bedroom in the front.

I bought it with the prize money from winning the circuit a few years back, and I splurged since I knew it’d be home for a while.

I probably wouldn’t be dreading it if we hadn’t rented this place.

The trailer can’t really compete with the house.

” I move to the next drawer and start emptying it.

“Hey,” he says when he sees his lace briefs in my hand. “You’re not really going to keep those, are you?”

“I absolutely am. You know why, too.” I muster a sly grin, leaning into my role as a plaything since that’s better than saying goodbye now.

“I’m not sure I want those added to your underwear collection.”

“These make up the entire collection.” I cross the room and stand over him, forcing him to lift his chin to see me. “And I’ll also take the ones you’re wearing now. ”

“What makes you think I’m wearing any?” He smirks back at me.

“We’ve been through this, you little devil.” I grab the waist of his shorts and start tugging them down. “You know how much I like your sexy briefs, and I know you secretly like giving them to me, so you’re always wearing them. And they’ve always got a little wet spot, just for me.”

“Such a pig,” he huffs while trying not to smirk.

I lean forward and run my nose along the fabric between his legs.

“Only because it makes you drip for me, and nothing turns me on the way your scent does.” I pull the lace down just enough to let his tip poke out the top and lick over his slit.

“That’s why you’ll let me keep all your briefs, and you’ll give me these ones too.

You love knowing that I might put them over my face.

Or rub them on my cock, thinking of you. ”

“Axel, fuck,” he groans, and my cock goes rock hard. Lennon’s moaned many times for me before, but this is the first time he’s moaned my name, and I fucking love it.