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Chapter seventeen

Lennon

“ I keep hearing everyone talk about this Solstice party. What is it?” Axel asks as he pulls back the covers and climbs in my bed like he’s been doing it all his life.

Is it mine if he’s always in it?

Shaking that thought away I answer his question.

“It’s a party to welcome summer. They close down Main Street and have one large community potluck.

Everyone brings food and treats. Most of the restaurants donate some food or sell it at a discount.

Bands play at the end of Main Street, and at dusk there’s a bonfire in an empty lot on the outskirts of town to thank the sun. ”

“Thank the sun?” He arches a brow at me as he scoots down and sticks his arm out, calling me to his side.

Despite my better judgment, I crawl in next to him, tucking my head against his shoulder. It’s right there, might as well not let it go to waste.

“In this town we find an excuse for a party or festival at least every other month. Every month in the summer.”

“When is this party?”

“Tomorrow.” I trace the lines of muscle on his abdomen .

“Aren’t you going to invite me to it?” His stomach ripples when my finger hits a sensitive spot.

“I don’t usually go. I do pizza only that day and we serve it in the restaurant and on the street for the block party. Then I clean up. By the time I’m done I’m too tired to go to the fire.”

“Don’t you get tired of missing the events in town because of work?” He drags his finger up and down my arm.

“I don’t miss them. I’m right in the middle. Everyone passes through Murphy’s at one point or another, and I can hear the bands play while I’m working.”

“Well, if you won’t invite me, I’ll just have to invite you.”

“You’re inviting me to the Solstice party?” I try to keep the amusement out of my voice, but it’s hard considering he’s the visitor asking me to an event hosted by my town.

“No, I’m asking you to come to my season opener this weekend.”

My finger stills near the waistband of his shorts. “Isn’t your event in Arizona?”

“Yes.”

“This weekend. As in six days away?” I swallow back my nerves, torn between feeling excited and terrified. This is something you ask a girlfriend. Or boyfriend—does he think of me that way? Do I want him to?

“This weekend,” he repeats. “And before you tell me you can’t possibly leave for a whole two days during a busy summer, I want you to think about what you’re gonna do when you have a second location to worry about.

You can’t be both places at once, and this is a good opportunity to test drive a solution for that situation. ”

It’s more than a little unnerving that he understands how my mind works after a few short weeks and is prepared to counter my objections. Plus, he’s right, dammit .

“I have months yet to come up with a plan for staffing a second location. You’re asking me to put something in place within a few days.” While that’s true, it’s the bigger implications of what he’s asking that have me leery.

Clearly, this thing with us has gone beyond fling territory.

I can admit that to myself, even if I don’t want to admit it to anyone else.

What I can’t say for certain is what it’s turned into.

There’s been no discussion about that, no mention of whether he’ll be back after he leaves this time around.

I assume the fact he’s asking me to his event means he wants to keep this going, but what does that look like? Where would that take us?

It seems reckless to follow him around without knowing where this is headed.

Not only does that imply a level of commitment he hasn’t made, it threatens the promise I made to myself to put my livelihood before a relationship.

And yeah, maybe I’ve been wondering if there’s a way to have both my career and a boyfriend, but I can’t keep the business running smoothly if I’m not here to do it, which—let’s face it—is a possibility if he wants me to travel with him to support his dreams.

If this thing is for real, I guess that’s not an unreasonable ask, but that doesn’t mean it’s one I can agree to if it might jeopardize my hard work. I’ve got years invested in my business; I can’t throw that away for his career. But I also can’t ask him to sacrifice his goals to satisfy mine.

“I know it’s a big ask.” He threads his fingers through mine and tugs my hand to his lips for a brief kiss before resting them back on his stomach. “But the idea of being there with just my crew doesn’t really excite me. Not the way it used to.”

His eyes are glued to our hands, which makes me think that’s something he didn’t intend to share. Speaking of…

“Won’t there be cameras and shit at this thing?”

He furrows his brow. “The competition is televised, yeah.”

“Do I really have to spell it out for you?” I roll my eyes. “Having me there will put the spotlight on you for something other than what you do on a bike, which I know you’ve never had to deal with before since I’m the first guy you’ve been with. Are you ready for that?”

“I don’t care what’s between your legs, Lennon.” To his credit, he doesn’t even flinch as he says that. “I can’t stop other people from making a big deal about it, but I’m not going to live in a closet because of that.”

“You really don’t care if they focus more on who you’re sleeping with than what you do on the bike?”

He lifts a nonchalant shoulder. “They can only do that if I let them. If I stick to answering questions about the bike eventually that’s all they’ll ask. Do you have a problem being part of their focus?”

Axel’s question is both unexpected and unnerving.

I’m not a spotlight type of guy by nature, so the notion that I might find myself there does make me a little uneasy.

By the same token, I’m not one to hide or live my life behaving the way society expects, although I’ve never had to do that on a public scale.

I don’t love that idea, particularly since I’d be foolish to think any comments made about me would be kind.

And I’m not talking about the scrutiny I’d fall under because I’m the first guy Axel’s been with either.

I’ve got a closet full of skirts that will make Axel being with a man seem mundane.

“Never mind. I wouldn’t want you to be uncomfortable.” Axel stares at where our hands are joined on his stomach, taking my silence for a negative.

“I didn’t say no...” His dejected voice has me rushing to respond, but before I can finish my thought he latches on to what he clearly sees as an opening .

“I think you’d like it.” His eyes friggin sparkle, dammit.

“There’s a level of energy unlike anything else, and all the other riders are pretty cool, so they’d have our backs.

Especially Jace and my crew. We’d stay in my trailer—it’d be like camping only more comfortable—and you’d only miss a few days of work.

I mean, when’s the last time you took even a few days off? ”

His rambling would be sort of adorable if the words didn’t ring true.

The energy he describes reminds me of what I feel living in Katah Vista, and if his competition circuit is for him what this town is for me…

I guess it wouldn’t be the worst environment for us to “come out” in.

Plus, in theory, a few days off shouldn’t be catastrophic, and like he said, this would be a good test run for how to manage a new location.

However, the part of his request that resonates most is how being there with just his crew doesn’t excite him.

Having Axel to come home to, even though it’s only been for a few days, has made those days infinitely better.

It’s given me something to look forward to at the end of a long day, and while I didn’t think that was something I needed, it turns out it’s something I enjoy.

Something I could get used to. And I can’t fault him for wanting that in his life.

If only his life weren’t so far away from mine.

“Please, angel?” His gaze is still focused on our hands where they rest on his stomach.

“Angel? I thought I was the devil?”

Axel’s honey-colored eyes dart briefly to mine before going back to our linked fingers. “You are; you’re still a temptation I can’t seem to resist, but you also light up a room just by being in it.” He rubs his thumb absently along mine.

“So, that makes you the devil in this room?” My playful tone earns me the half-smirk I was going for .

“I can see how I gave that impression. I’m not all bad though, right?”

“Hmmm.” I pretend to consider the question. “You do keep trying to get me to skip out on work.”

“I figure that’s a fair exchange for the way I make your dick quiver.” He licks his bottom lip suggestively.

“Pig.” I unlace our fingers and smack his chest.

“Only for you, angel. Only for you.”

He catches my hand and pulls me to him, pressing our lips together. Then gives me a reason to accept his invitation.

***

“Where’s your man hiding the rest of his gang?” Beck casually sets his tray on the counter to transfer the drinks I made for his table on it, feigning an innocence that his carefully averted stare can’t hide.

“They’re too old for you.” My head shifts back and forth in warning.

“A month ago, I would’ve agreed with you, but I’ve re-evaluated my prospects and I think I’ll never meet anyone if they have to be about the same age as me.” He adds a glass of wine and a beer to his tray.

“What prospects?”

“Exactly.” He throws his hands up dramatically.

“There’s barely a dozen guys in this town who are my age— ” he quotes the air “—none of which are queer unless they’re still in the closet.

And even if there was a queer guy around, he’d probably be too intimidated by Cade’s big brother routine to get near me.

Plus, the guys who come through town that are my age are such… boys .”

I clear my throat to cover my chuckle. He’s not wrong about that .

“It’s not funny.” His full lips turn down in the way he learned to weaponize as a kid so he could get his way.