Page 29

“What’s the rush to find a guy? You’re twenty, Beck.”

“Twenty-one in a few months.” He lifts his chin.

“My bad.” I shoot him a fake smile. “But again, what’s the rush?”

“No rush.” He sighs. “I’ve just been watching all these people find each other which makes it that much more obvious that I’m single.”

“What people?” I fill a pint glass from the tap for another server.

“Cade and Maddox, Sloan and Carter. Now you.”

“What makes you think I’m not single?” My voice is surprisingly level given the way his statement sends my heart racing.

“The gorgeous man who plops his butt at this counter every day and watches you like he can’t decide whether he wants to fuck you senseless or snuggle you like a teddy bear.”

I roll my eyes the way he’s prone to, hoping that distracts him from noticing that my hands shake slightly as I set another beer on the bar top. Axel doesn’t look at me like that, does he?

“Don’t read too much into it. He’s got competitions coming up, so he won’t be here much longer, which leaves me just as single as you.

” My tone is indifferent, though the words aren’t.

I need to keep repeating them, because despite the invitation to watch him compete, Axel hasn’t given me any indication that I should expect to see him after that.

I’d like to think I would, but his season lasts months, and a lot can change in that length of time.

Counting on something that hasn’t been discussed is how hearts get broken, which is why I can’t choose to listen to Beck’s words over the caution bells ringing in my head.

“Don’t count on that,” he mutters.

“What? ”

“The guy already came back for you once, and if he likes you as much as he likes his bike—which so far seems to be the case—then you’re not as single as you think you are.” He picks up his tray and saunters off toward his table, leaving me standing behind the bar open-mouthed.

That stupor plagues me for the rest of the afternoon, until Axel drags me to the Solstice party. Though we can hear the music at Murphy’s, he walks us to the end of Main Street so we can see the band, a local group that plays covers of everything from the Grateful Dead to The Dirty Heads.

We reach the crowd by the stage, and he nudges me in front of him, wrapping his arm around my waist so my back is pressed against his chest. The band starts their next song, and we stand together, swaying silently to the music as the people in front of us bounce around and shout.

We must look out of place—it’s not a slow song—though I’m perfectly content to move listlessly as long as I’m in Axel’s arms.

It occurs to me in this first peaceful moment of my day that Beck might be onto something when he says I’m not as single as I think I am.

The way Axel’s holding me right now doesn’t scream casual sex , and while I know this has become something more, I’m still hesitant to use the boyfriend label.

It comes with too many expectations. Too many questions I don’t yet have the answer to.

I can’t deny enjoying what’s happening right now, though.

It's not accurate to consider myself lonely. Yet standing here in Axel’s arms, I feel a sense of belonging. A connection. There’s something about the two of us together that fits, at least in this moment, and while our different paths mean it’s unlikely to last, part of me wants it to, somehow.

I shake my head to clear that thought as the band wraps up their last song, and we follow the crowd to the bonfire .

“How does this work, exactly?” Axel asks as we approach the towering pile of wood, hand in hand. “Do we all thank the sun or does one person do it for everyone?”

“Nona from the market in town does the talking, but anyone can thank the sun. Sometimes people write a note on a scrap of paper and throw it in the fire, other people make an offering of sorts, throwing in an object.”

“What do you do?”

“Nothing usually, although when I first opened Murphy’s, I asked for a good season. It seemed like a good idea for our inaugural year.” I step in front of him and wrap his arms around me, just the way we stood watching the band, and he props his chin on my shoulder.

“What are you going to ask for this year?” His deep voice rumbles in my ear.

“A successful expansion.” Did I imagine it, or did his body seem to sag just now? “What are you going to ask for?”

I feel his lip pull back in a grin. “Am I allowed to tell you, or does that make it not come true like it does with making a wish?”

“Good question.” My shoulders lift only slightly under the weight of his arms. “I hope there’s no consequence for sharing what you ask for.”

“Just in case I think maybe I’ll keep mine to myself.” He plants a kiss on my temple as Nona makes her way to the front of the crowd.

Dressed as a priestess or shaman—I never know which—with a long, flowing dress and a crown of flowers in her hair, she raises her arms and flicks her wrists, gesturing for the crowd to fall silent. Then she lifts her gaze to the setting sun.

“We come together on the longest day of the year, to honor you, Mother Sun, who lights the darkness, who warms the earth, and who nourishes our souls.

Thank you for waking up the land. Thank you for waking up the creatures. Thank you for waking up our spirits after a long winter. Be our guiding light, reminding us to respect the land, the creatures and one another during this season of renewal.”

Nona bows her head as she falls silent, and the crowd erupts in cheers. Then four guys step forward with torches and light the bonfire.

Flames stretch upward, licking at the air in their quest to rise into the darkening sky. A wave of hot air radiates outward, warming my face as it forces me to close my eyes. Trapped between Axel’s heat and the blaze in front of me, my body hums with warmth despite the chill in the night air.

As the initial heat wave fades, I open my eyes to watch the people around me.

Blake tosses what looks like a bike tire into the flames while Cade and Maddox toss in a scrap of paper.

Ryder stares absently forward, the light of the blaze illuminating his vacant face, though he doesn’t appear to notice. He must be thinking of his brother.

I’m debating whether or not to approach him when I feel movement next to me.

Turning my head, I spot Sloan and his boyfriend Carter, and a smile creeps across my face.

I don’t see Sloan much since he left Murphy’s to open his physical therapy practice, and it’s even rarer to see the two of them together.

I think they’re enjoying their newfound bliss as roommates slash lovers, and I would never begrudge them that time together. I miss seeing him every day, though.

Stepping out of Axel’s embrace, I give Sloan a hug and wave hello to Carter as I make introductions. “So, Carter, what do you think of your first Solstice?”

“Well,” he scratches the back of his head, “I’m glad I don’t have to be in costume. ”

I stifle a laugh as I catch Axel’s confused expression. “There’s a charity bike race every year where people dress up, and Carter got stuck with a costume that didn’t leave much to the imagination.”

“I didn’t object to the way it fit, just the character itself. Spiderman is my least favorite superhero,” he says to Axel.

“Why not just dress as something else, then?” Axel’s eyes get bigger as he realizes Carter, Sloan and I are all staring at him open-mouthed. “What?”

“My sister is very particular about the costumes.” Sloan lays a hand on his arm and leans into him like he’s sharing confidential information. “If you’re in the group, you wear what she gives you and certainly don’t speak of it if you object.”

He starts to laugh as though he almost fell for it, but abruptly stills when he sees none of us find it funny. “Wow. I guess it’s a pretty big deal then.”

“The biggest.” Sloan nods solemnly.

The guys start their own conversation once we point out they’re both professional athletes—or in Carter’s case was before he retired from ski racing—leaving Sloan and I to catch up. Or rather, for him to call me out.

“You two are looking cozy.” He fights a knowing grin.

“It’s chilly and he’s warm.”

He makes no effort to hide his dramatic eye roll, but at least he lowers his voice. “You’re in denial.”

“I’m really not,” I whisper back. “Would I be interested if things were different? Yeah, I can admit that. But he’s still going to leave, Sloan. In a few days.”

“And you think that’ll be the end of it?” He crosses his arms in front of his chest and stares me down .

“He hasn’t given me any reason to think otherwise.” I deliberately leave out that he’s asked me to come to his event, because it would only give Sloan more reason to harp on me, and for my own sanity I have to keep things in perspective.

“For a guy bitching about costumes you sure seem to be into them,” Axel’s booming laugh cuts my thoughts short.

“What’s this?” Sloan leans into Carter and wraps his arms around his waist.

“Your boyfriend is thinking about having a costume event on the slopes. The lift ticket is free on opening day if you’re in costume. What sort of costume can you even have if you’re all bundled up?” Axel shakes his head in disbelief.

“You’d be surprised,” Sloan mutters.

“Ally would take that as a personal challenge.” I bump Sloan’s shoulder and we both burst out laughing.

“What am I missing?” Axel watches us with a mixture of confusion and apprehension.

“Costumes are sort of a way of life here,” Carter explains. “I’m still getting used to it since I only moved here a year ago, but it seems like any event where you dress up is a big draw. That’s why I’m thinking of doing one on the mountain.”

“What sort of dress up?” Axel still looks skeptical.

“Marvel superheroes, Sesame Street, Where’s Waldo, the sky’s the limit.” I can’t help grinning at his confused expression. “The more elaborate the better, and Ally’s a master at costumes. Last year she had Cade fabricate a bike that would keep her dress out of the gears while she rode it.”

“I hope she won.” Axel snorts.

“There’s no contest.” Sloane shrug. “She does it for bragging rights. ”

“I’m going on record, I will not be wearing a costume on opening day, so if Carter does make that a thing make sure Ally doesn’t make anything for me,” I tell Sloan.

“When’s the last time you went out for opening day?” Sloan squints his eyes at me.

“Two years ago, smart ass,” I retort. “Everyone wanted to check out the resort after Carter bought the place, so I closed Murphy’s until dinner, and we all went to the mountain.”

“Spying on me, Lennon?” Carter shoots me a wry smirk.

“Hey, you fail, we all fail. I wanted to know who’s hands my livelihood was in.”

“Did I pass?” Carter asks me.

“Not that day.” I shake my head at him even though I’m smiling.

He puts a hand over his heart. “That’s harsh.”

“What did you expect when you hide away in your office like Oz pulling strings behind a curtain? But don’t worry, you redeemed yourself.”

“Yeah?” He arches a brow.

“I wouldn’t be filling out the lease paperwork for a second location if you hadn’t.” I wink.

“Oz, that’s a good idea. I’ll have to pass it on to Ally in case she wants to do something with that. I bet she could make warm weather costumes for the lion and the tinman pretty easily, and the good witch has that giant dress…” Sloan trails off as he envisions all the things his sister could do.

“How are we back to costumes again?” Axel lets out an exasperated breath.

“It’s starting to sound like Ally’s got to approve everything you all wear, and if hanging with you guys means she’s gonna do the same to me she should know my sponsors get sorta prickly if I’m not wearing shit with their name on it. ”

“You’re safe except for all but about a dozen days throughout the year.” I pat his chest with an overly wicked smile.

He slings an arm around my shoulders and tugs me to him, planting a kiss on the top of my head. “I can live with that. So, Lennon was a little unclear on the whole bonfire wish thing. Can you say what you ask for, or does speaking about it mean it won’t come true?”

I stay pinned against Axel’s chest as he peppers Sloan and Carter with questions over the top of my head, which has the added benefit of letting me ignore the eyes I feel searching for mine.

I have no explanation for the dozen times a year comment or Axel’s response to it, so it’s easier to pretend it didn’t happen.

Fortunately, the guys stick close by for the rest of the night, so I never have to elaborate on it to Sloan.