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Chapter twenty-one

Lennon

M y heartbeat echoes in my head when I wake alone, returning to normal only after I hear the rattle of dishes in the kitchen.

Taking a shaky breath, I turn my head to look at the empty space next to me, wishing the sight didn’t bother me so much.

Nice job, Lennon. You’ve fallen in love with him. Now what?

I want to kick and scream and pull my hair out for doing exactly what I swore never to do, but I can’t bring myself to turn off the adrenalin that flows through my veins. Adrenalin I feel because of him.

Axel couldn’t stop touching me yesterday, as if he couldn’t physically stand any distance between us, and I loved every moment. I loved being introduced as his man. And I especially loved the way he made me cry out his name well into the night.

This wasn’t supposed to happen. I was only supposed to enjoy this for a weekend, not envision myself here regularly. Yet here I am, wishing I could share this with him beyond today .

That’s my heart talking rather than my head, and fortunately my head is still in control, so there’s little chance of me uprooting everything I’ve worked for to chase a fantasy.

I only wish my heart wasn’t so stuck on the fantasy, since that’s the organ I can’t protect from the pain of the distance that will inevitably separate us.

Get it together, Lennon. This doesn’t have to be the end. He said he’d come back to Katah Vista.

Will he, though? Katah Vista is hard to beat if you want a great vacation but living there is a different story.

Winters are long and harsh, it’s not convenient to anything like a full-size grocery, much less an airport, and the lack of privacy that comes with small town living can feel claustrophobic.

The local population is small because not everyone can handle the positive and negative aspects of the lifestyle, and so far, Axel’s only seen the positives. He may intend to come back, but there’s every chance he changes his tune once the weather turns. Most people do.

He called you his boyfriend though.

I’d like to think that’s a point in my favor, but what does boyfriend even mean?

That I’m more than a fling, obviously, yet far from anything permanent.

Could his feelings for me outweigh the negatives of small-town living?

Before I can dwell on that any longer, the man of the hour comes into the room, and my thoughts dissolve.

Oh. My. God.

I haven’t seen Axel in his gear since the first time he came into my restaurant, and I’d forgotten what a sight it is. Something about his leanly muscled body zipped up beneath that one-piece jumpsuit makes my mouth water, and my dick harden.

“You’re up.” His eyes rake over my body, naked except for the thin sheet draped over me .

“Why didn’t you wake me?” I stretch my arms above my head, which makes the sheet slip dangerously close to my swelling cock. Axel doesn’t miss it, heat flashing across his gaze as it comes to rest on my lower stomach.

“This is a vacation of sorts, right?” He licks his lips. “You should sleep in.”

I throw the sheet off and crawl to the foot of the mattress, until I’m kneeling in front of him on the foot of the bed. “I had other plans for this morning.”

His hands settle on my hips, thumbs drawing gentle circles over my skin. “I don’t have a lot of time.”

I grip the zipper between my fingers and start to slide it down. “Good thing you don’t have to get undressed then.”

The zipper stops right where his legs meet, giving me just enough room to pull down the waistband of his boxers and expose his swollen cock. He sucks in a breath as I take him in my mouth, letting it out with a strangled groan as I start to move.

Axel’s hips rock gently back and forth, trance-like, as if he can’t hold still. He doesn’t push deeper though, taking what I offer without demanding more.

“Your mouth, Lennon. Fuck .” He tips his head back as I hollow my cheeks.

The trailer door rattles as a fist makes contact. “Let’s go, Axel,” Jace hollers.

“Two minutes,” he shouts back as he pulls his cock from my lips. “I don’t have time to go slow and I’m not gonna fuck your face and rush out of here. Give me your ass.” He flips me over so I’m on all fours, slathers himself in the lube I hand him, and thrusts into me in one swift motion.

He groans when my already stretched hole invites him in without resistance. “I don’t know what got you so worked up this morning, but I fucking love it.”

“This.” I pinch the sleeve of his jumpsuit.

“You like it? I’ll wear one every day if it makes you this horny.”

My ass clenches, and not just because the idea of seeing him dressed in his racing jumpsuit turns me on.

I feel a sense of power being completely naked while he’s completely clothed, as if I can make him lose physical control.

As if he’s so starved for me, he can’t be bothered to do much more than pull his dick out.

In a strange way that makes me think this thing between us can work, because a man that desperate for me will do anything to keep me, right?

“Axel.” The door bangs again.

“Coming,” he yells as he pulls me up, so my back is flush with his chest. With one hand wrapped around my dick and the other braced on my hip, anchoring me to him, he pounds my ass while furiously jerking my cock.

Our pace is hurried. Desperate. Bordering on animalistic given the only goal is to finish as fast and hard as possible since the banging door suggests Jace is nearly out of patience.

It adds a raw, primal element to our fucking that’s a much-needed reprieve from the intensity of my earlier thoughts, sending me over the edge far faster than I would’ve thought possible.

My body bucks against his as my dick quivers in his hand, the tremors so violent I’m surprised they don’t mask the feel of his cock pulsing inside me. Yet somehow, while the rest of my body is numb, I can still feel where we’re connected.

Axel clutches me to him, panting, as the aftershocks the ripple through us. “I have to go,” he rasps, pressing a chaste kiss to the back of my neck .

“Good luck,” I whisper.

“I don’t need luck. I’ve got you.” He presses a soft kiss to my lips and pulls out of my body, tucking himself away before he zips up the suit.

“Almost forgot.” He reaches into the bedside table and pulls out a scrap of red lace. The briefs I gave him before he left Katah Vista the first time. He slips them into the chest pocket and zips them up.

“I thought you didn’t need luck?”

“These aren’t for luck. It’s because knowing I’ve got your briefs in my pocket makes you hot, and I like it when you jump my bones.”

“Pig.” I can’t hide the smile tugging at my lip.

“Only for you.” He gives me another quick kiss and heads out the door, leaving me to feel both comforted and terrified that he knows me so well.

***

“Knock, knock,” Jace calls out as he rattles the door.

I spring off the couch to open the door, feeling a little awkward about being a gatekeeper to a place I suspect he practically lives in.

“The competition is about to start.” He steps inside with a warm smile. “Axel wanted me to make sure you didn’t have any trouble getting close to the track. Are you ready?”

“Almost.” I dig through my backpack for a pair of sunglasses, less to block the sun than to hide my eyes, which I’m sure are broadcasting that I’m anxious.

Whether that’s about the competition, my undeniable feelings toward Axel, or the fact I’m about to be publicly labeled as his boyfriend, I’m not sure.

All I know is it’s an uncharacteristic emotion for me, so I’m hoping the dark lenses will let me hide in plain sight.

I follow Jace outside, pausing on the steps of the trailer. “Do I lock this or…?”

“It’s fine. No one will go in there who shouldn’t.” He holds up the badge hanging around his neck for emphasis—identical to the one I have—reminding me that this area is accessible only to people wearing one.

“Right.” I fall into step beside him. “So, how’s he doing?”

“What do you mean?” Jace cocks his head to the side.

“I don’t know. Does he seem ready, I guess?” I’ve never been overly invested in sports, as a participant or a fan, so I have no idea if the nerves I feel on Axel’s behalf are normal or not.

“Are you asking if your being here is good or bad for him?”

I hadn’t thought of it in those terms exactly, but now that he's mentioned it… “Yes.”

Jace slows to a stop and looks off toward the track in the distance, a pensive expression on his face. The announcer’s voice echoes around us as he introduces the first rider, a cue that we need to get moving I assume, though Jace remains frozen in place. Finally, he turns to me with a solemn look.

“I’m honestly not sure if being here will help or hurt his riding, but as for Axel himself, I think you being here is good.”

“I don’t understand.”

Jace inhales deeply and holds his breath for a second before letting it out.

“He seems lighter, I guess. Like the shit that normally weighs on him isn’t so heavy.

I think maybe that’s because of you.” His whole body seems to tense up before he abruptly spins forward and starts for the track so fast, I have to jog a few steps to catch up.

Looks like someone said more than they meant to.

Unfortunately, Jace’s words make me feel heavier.

I don’t like the idea that my presence matters or could in any way contribute to Axel’s performance.

If he starts thinking of me as important to his success…

I shake my head to clear the worry, figuring the moments before he hurls himself through the air on a bike aren’t the time to question the future. But the nerves remain.