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Chapter thirteen

Lennon

“ O kay spill it,” my friend Ally says, pulling up a chair for our monthly business owner’s lunch.

As recently as a year ago, this event took place in her boutique, where I’d try on the outfits she hunted down just for me between bites.

Since my fashion choices don’t fit the norm for a man it was a great way for me to “shop” and for Ally to indulge in her fashion designer dreams. Then her brother Sloan opened his own PT practice, and I decided to mentor Beck in preparation for opening my second location so he could fill Randy’s role of assistant manager, so our lunch has grown to include both of them.

“Beck said you took a day off with no notice, and I know you weren’t sick.” Ally helps herself to one of the glasses of tea on the table.

I shoot a wounded look in Beck’s direction, regretting that I invited him to join us. Not like I had much of a choice since we’re eating in my restaurant.

“What? Ally’s like a bloodhound.” Beck adds sugar to his drink. “If she pops in and you aren’t here, I can’t keep that from her. ”

“I didn’t realize my life was such a hot topic.” I lean back in my chair and cross my arms with a huff, even though I’m not surprised by Ally’s tenacity in getting him to talk. She really is a bloodhound.

“It is when you don’t have a life outside this restaurant and then you randomly take a day off,” Ally deadpans.

“We need to work on your boundaries,” I tell her.

“No such thing when you’re concerned about a friend,” she says with a satisfied smile.

“She’s got a point,” Sloan adds with a guilty shrug.

“No need for concern. I’m right here. What we really need to talk about is your new living arrangement.” I give Sloan a pointed look as I pin the heat on him. “How do you like shacking up with Carter?”

“I’ll tell you if you tell us why Beck was filling in for you.” Sloan points at my loose-lipped server.

I look at Beck, who has his head buried in the menu like he doesn’t already know it by heart. “You know, if I ask you to cover for me that means tell everyone I’m busy in the office, not that I’m not here.”

“We aren’t everyone,” Sloan says pointedly.

“You’re worse than everyone,” I retort. "You all make a bigger deal out of things.”

“We would never.” Ally puts a hand over her heart like she’s shocked and offended. Damn, she’s dramatic.

“Especially, if the thing we’re not making a big deal of is a sexy biker.” Beck finally lifts his head, daring me to object.

I give him the most menacing look I can muster.

“What? I’ve got eyes. I saw them sitting at the bar last week,” he says, confirming my suspicion that Beck’s curious about both sexes, though I’ll wait for him to tell me that before I point it out.

“Ooh that’s right.” Sloan’s eyes grow wide. “I saw them when I came to pick up lunch. The whole crew of them were hot, but the blonde one was still here when I stopped for a drink before going home. He’s why you skipped out on a shift, isn’t he?”

“Details,” Beck’s eyes gleam as he claps his hands together.

“Your mom would kill me if she knew you asked such a thing.” Beck’s mom, hell the whole town, still views him as a doe-eyed little boy thanks to the fact he’s on the shorter, slender side for a man, which admittedly makes it hard to think of him as an adult since he still looks so young. Beautiful, but young.

“So, don’t tell her.” He shrugs indifferently. “But do tell us about the sexy biker.”

“Yes, do tell us about that.” Ally wags her eyebrows.

“Don’t encourage his corruption,” I tell Ally.

“I need corrupting,” Beck retorts. “There’s no one in this town for me to date and everyone scares the tourists away from me by acting like my big brother. So, please, spill.”

The guys—and Ally—are doing this because they think I work too much, and they like to encourage me to get out and have fun.

I appreciate that they care, but I don’t like being under a microscope, especially since what started as a random hookup became something else.

Something I still can’t wrap my head around days after it ended.

There’s no logical explanation for it considering how fleeting our time together was, but I’ve felt off ever since Axel left.

Disinterested in work, the one thing I used to live for.

I want to say that’s because I’m not getting a physical release at the end of the day, since that’s all it was supposed to be, but I’m not na?ve enough to believe that’s all it is.

I’m not ready to admit that though. Not to myself, and certainly not to them.

“There’s not much to tell. Axel and I hooked up a few times while they were in town, but they had to go to the next race.”

“And?” Sloan prompts .

“And nothing. He’s gone, end of story.”

“Is he coming back?” Beck asks.

“Probably not. They’re filming his video in between races so he’s all over the country for different events, and coming back here was never on the schedule.”

“Are you going to meet him on the road? Take a little joy ride.” Ally rubs her palms together like she’s expecting a juicy detail.

“No, I’m not going to meet him. I’ll probably never see him again, same as other people I’ve hooked up with over the years. That’s all it was. And that,” I look at Beck, “is why I don’t want to encourage you. It’s always just a hookup, end of story.”

“But didn’t you hang out with him every day for a week?” Sloan scrunches his nose. “That’s more than a hookup.”

I shoot daggers at Beck.

“That’s not on me.” He holds his hands up. “His friends were talking to Blake, Blake told Carter who told his boyfriend—” he points at Sloan “—and here we are.”

“An extended hookup then.” I rub my temples, trying to keep my growing headache at bay. “We had some fun, he left, so my little vacation is over. Which means, if you want corruption, Beck, ask Sloan to tell you about his new living arrangements.”

***

Lunch with my friends is usually a bright spot since it happens only once a month, but today it left me feeling sort of depressed, and I don’t think there’s a remedy for that.

I’ve managed not to dwell on Axel for the past few days, busying myself with the expansion plans, but getting put on the spot forced me to think about him no matter how much I didn’t want to. And now that he’s in my head, I can’t get him out, especially while trying on the skirt Ally brought me.

Axel would love it.

It’s army green with silver buckles at the waist and zippers that look decorative but which are actually pockets.

It looks killer with my combat boots, but my low rise black chucks work too if I’m in a more casual mood.

Thanks to the summer sun, my skin has a slight olive tone that contrasts nicely with the skirt, and in the white T-shirt I stole from Axel, I have a healthy glow.

If he could see me now… I can picture him licking his lips salaciously as his eyes traveled from my ankles to my knees. I can hear the groan he’d make when the skirt hit the floor, and he got a look at the white lace briefs underneath.

While I dress for myself and no one else, there’s no denying my fashion sense can be a turnoff to some people.

Not the people who live here, who are used to it by now, but the people who pass through.

Women are generally more accepting of it than men, which is part of what makes Axel so appealing.

He didn’t just accept my style at face value, he encouraged it.

Hell, he got off on it, making me feel sexier than I ever have in the process.

As a result, I never felt like I had to make excuses or be someone I’m not around him, and I miss that just as much as I miss the sex. Maybe even more so.

As improbable as it seems, the guy I was convinced had nothing but his body to offer gave me so much more than that.

He comforted me after the death of a friend, commiserated about our deadbeat dads, and forced me to take some time off and have fun, all without ever asking me to change who I am.

I’ve never met someone like that before, and in my line of work I meet a lot of people.

It makes me wonder if anyone will ever compare to the cocky, dirty, selfless man I can’t get out of my head.

Ignoring a pang of regret that he’ll never see me in it, I hang the skirt in the closet and climb into my empty bed. But sleep doesn’t come. It hasn’t since Axel left. Not easily anyway, which can only mean one thing.

I miss him.

From his sexy abs to his sensitive heart, even his dirty mind, I miss it all. And there’s nothing I can do about it.

That’s probably for the best. My goal has always been to get my business up and going before I do anything for me, and a second location is a big part of that.

Once the sister restaurant is established, I can relax a bit, but until then the smartest thing to do is stay focused.

If I had a way to reach Axel, or any plans to see him, that could have a negative impact on my work.

So, even though my nights are lonely and my bed empty, at least my goals are intact.

That was always the plan, and I’m sticking to it.

Still, it’s his shirt I curl up in when I go to bed, and his face I see when I close my eyes.