Chapter eleven

Lennon

I t’s hard to keep the confusion off my face as I watch Axel pull into the parking lot and take the helmet off his head. “I thought you wanted a day without the bike?”

“I wanted a day where I didn’t have to work on the bike.” He hands me the extra helmet he has strapped to the seat.

“How is this different?” I take it and turn it over in my hands. While helmets of all sorts are abundant here, I don’t wear them. I don’t have a reason to.

“This is a Harley. You don’t ride it on trails or do tricks on it, you just cruise.”

“O-kay.” I don’t get the distinction—two wheels are two wheels—but the gleam in his eyes keeps me from saying anything that might squash his excitement.

At least I’m wearing some khaki shorts with a pair of chucks instead of a skirt today.

I pull the helmet on and take his hand while I swing my leg over the bike. “Wrap your arms around my waist. Hold on tight.” He guides my arm where he wants it.

“Oh, I get it now. We’re re-enacting your fantasy. You really think I’m going to have sex with you on your bike?” I slide my hands over his abs just to torture him.

“I wouldn’t object. Riding is excellent foreplay.” He winks at me before pulling his own helmet on, and before I can stop myself, I laugh at his audacity. Really laugh, not the sarcastic chuckle I usually give him. Why does he have to be so damn sexy?

I feel his stomach tense under my hands. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you laugh like that before. I like it. Not as much as when you moan my name, but… it’s nice.”

“Hey now.” I smack his shoulder. “Don’t ruin the day by being a pig.”

He gives my thigh a playful squeeze. “You like it when I’m a pig.”

Though we both know that’s true, pride won’t let me admit it so easily. “I do not.”

“Yes, you do. You grin and roll your eyes, and then you let me fuck you.”

“I let you fuck me because you give good orgasms.” I pinch his side, causing him to shift his hips to the side to escape my grasp.

“Wait till you feel the one I give you after a day on the bike.” He tugs my arms tighter around him. “Now, hang on.”

We take off on a two-lane road that weaves through a densely wooded valley next to a small river that’s popular for fly fishing.

This time of year, the water is fairly high, and the grass is a vibrant green.

Traffic is light, limited to a few trucks and RVs carrying vacationers to their camping destinations, and cows grazing along the road.

Yes, around here cows are part of traffic.

Despite the roar of the engine and the wind gusting around us, the ride is peaceful. There’s no pressure to talk or even to think, though it’s hard to keep my mind from wondering how exactly I got here .

I realize part of this day is a result of just trying to get Axel to leave me alone so I could work, but if I really didn’t want to be here, I didn’t have to give in to his request. The fact I let him sway me suggests I’m starting to want to be around him, and not just for the physical release he can provide.

Does that make me weak or foolish?

Gradually, the road starts to wind upward, sharp S-curves taking us higher and higher as the trees get farther and farther apart. At the top of the pass, we stop at an overlook, giving us a clear view of the valley down below.

Nestled at the bottom is a lake that feeds the river we drove past. It’s a vibrant dot of blue against a sea of green, and though it only took an hour to get here, there isn’t a hint of civilization in sight.

Axel shuts the bike off and helps me dismount, setting the helmets on the seat. I shiver as I take in my surroundings—the air is chillier up here—and he hands me a sweatshirt he has stored in the bike. I snuggle into the oversized cotton, which smells faintly of the woodsy soap he uses.

“Let’s check it out.” He takes my hand, which would normally be a red flag, but if I let myself feel instead of think, I find I enjoy the sensation of having our fingers linked together.

Whether that’s because it’s been so long since anyone’s touched me without the specific intent of getting off, or because this is Axel and he’s proven to have more depth than I originally gave him credit for, I’m not sure.

And for once, I don’t let myself get hung up on it.

He leads us along an overgrown path to the side of the small parking lot, and, walking in silence, we enjoy the crisp air and the tiny wildflowers trying to poke up from the ground.

His hand is warm and soft, gently pulling me along as we weave through the trees to a tiny clearing.

When we stop, he guides me in front of him, wrapping his arms around my waist so my back is pinned to his chest as we take in the view.

“It’s incredible,” I sigh in wonder, giving him enough of my weight that I’d stumble without him behind me.

“This is the kind of stuff I see when I ride for fun. There are paved roads that offer a good view, but the best scenery can’t be found on a paved road. You need to get on the trail to see things like this. The bike lets me experience stuff most people never will.”

“That’s why you make movies? So other people can experience it, too?” I swivel my head to face him, trying to read his expression.

“I make the movies because they’re a way for me to see as many places as possible. That’s not what people see when they watch them, though.” He stares wistfully at the horizon.

“What do they see?” I turn my head to follow his gaze.

“Mostly the jumps and tricks.” I feel him shrug.

“What do you see when you make them?”

He takes a deep breath, pausing so long I’m not sure he’s going to answer. “Perfection.”

I look up at him again, but before I can ask him to explain he continues.

“Look at it.” He points to the landscape in front of us.

“It’s completely untouched. No buildings or people.

It’s an infinite paradise. Nothing people build will ever be more impressive than this right here, and most people drive by it on the way from A to B without even knowing it exists.

It makes me sad for them. I want to see as many places like this as I can before I’m gone. Or before they are.”

I follow his gaze, trying to see what he sees. It’s hard not to. Imposing mountains set against the bright blue sky; a sea of green swaying in the wind; speckles of color where flowers are trying to grow. The sheer scale of it is overwhelming, but instead of being daunting it’s peaceful .

“You think views like this will disappear?” I wonder aloud, curious how that’s even possible.

“I think views like this aren’t a priority for a lot of people, so… maybe.”

“A view like this makes you feel like there has to be something bigger out there, like a higher power that makes it.” The words are out before I decide to say them, and I go still in his arms, not even sure where they came from.

I’m not religious. I’m not even sure I’m spiritual, although that would be a better fit.

I don’t usually get philosophical, so claiming to feel a higher power because of the view is totally out of character for me.

I can’t say it feels wrong though given the impressiveness of the mountains before me.

“Exactly.” Axel rests his chin on my shoulder.

I feel briefly guilty, because like the people he mentioned, I sometimes get so focused on me and my goals I forget to appreciate what’s around me.

Scenery like this that’s in my backyard if I only took the time to notice it.

Yet the guilt fades as I take in vast beauty spread out before me, as if the landscape itself is forgiving me. Giving me a pass for being too driven.

“Thank you for showing me.” I squeeze the forearm draped over my waist.

“Why don’t you do stuff like this more often?” I feel him looking at me, though I keep my gaze forward.

My past isn’t something I share, though knowing that Axel has his own family secrets makes it easier to talk.

“When my dad left, my mom had nothing. No money, no work experience, no job prospects.” I close my eyes, thinking back to how panicked she was, and how tense that made things around the house.

“She dedicated her life to taking care of her family, but that’s not a skill employers look for. I saw how scared and defeated she was, and I promised myself I’d never be in that position. That I wouldn’t rely on anyone else for support only to have it yanked out from under me.”

“That means you have to work twenty-four-seven?”

“It means, I’ll do what I have to, to avoid the mistakes she made.”

He kisses the spot just behind my ear, a gesture that doesn’t scare me as much as it should. “Why restaurants?”

“My grandpa. He had a restaurant I worked at when I visited over the summer. I loved the energy of it. Plus, it wasn’t the business field my dad always wanted me to go into.

I wanted to prove I could be successful in the last industry he wanted me to choose, and I am.

I’m even looking into opening a second location on the mountain.

Why do you hide from your dad?” I don’t regret telling him all that, but it’s enough for one day.

He takes a deep breath and hugs me a little tighter. “I told you he’s a gambler and a drunk, right?”

I nod.

“I made the mistake of giving him money early on. I thought that would pacify him, but it only made him feel entitled to ask for more whenever he runs out. He bought me my first bike, so he thinks that makes him responsible for my achievements.”

“Does he come looking for you often?”

“Touring the country makes it hard for him to keep up, but sometimes he’ll manage to get a lift from someone and just show up demanding help. Most guys on the circuit know who he is and keep him away from me. So, he usually tries to get to me through my mom.”

“That must be hard.” I run my fingers along his forearm, loving the way it makes him pull me closer.

“It is. Sometimes I think I brought this on her by being somewhat famous and making enough to support her.”

“I’m sure she doesn’t feel that way.” I give his arm a gentle squeeze .

“Probably not. Fortunately, I’m able to take care of her without giving her access to cash he could steal. That way he doesn’t do much more than ask how to find me, since he can’t get to me on the circuit.”

“What is the circuit exactly? I have some idea, but I’m not overly familiar with how it works.” I feel Axel smile against the back of my head.

“It’s a series of events around the country. You get points at each event and the highest point total over the course of the season wins. I’ve won three times so far.”

“You’re the guy to beat?” I wonder if he can tell I’m smirking even though he can’t see my face.

“I suppose so.” I feel him shrug, which makes my stomach flutter. He’s not as arrogant as I pegged him to be that first day. Not when it comes to riding, anyway.

“How’d you get so good?”

“I rode every chance I got. It helped me avoid the house, at least until I moved in with Jace. His dad used to ride, so he trained us both.”

“Jace, your cameraman? He competes?”

“Not anymore. He had a nasty fall and figured the competition wasn’t worth it after that. He still loves to ride, though. That’s how he ended up being the camera guy, and since we grew up riding together it made sense that he'd come on the road with me.”

Spinning to face him, his arms tighten around me as I study his nostalgic expression. “Sounds like the perfect arrangement.”

“I used to think so,” he whispers just before his lips touch mine in a kiss that’s far too sweet for our hookup arrangement.

I hate that I don’t hate that.