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Eliana

J ake keeps a firm hand around my waist as he leads me upstairs.

I send out a quiet “thank you” to the universe that my skin was already covered in goosebumps from being drenched in beer, so he wouldn’t notice the additional ones that formed from his touch.

I had a problem. A massive one in fact. And it was all tied to how I wanted more.

More of his touches, more of his jokes, more of him coming to my defense.

More of Jake Keeley. That’s all my brain could think right now which was incredibly dangerous given he was leading me up to his room.

The first time he wrapped his arms around me during beer pong, I thought my heart was going to explode.

I was never a super touchy person and cringed whenever my exes tried to engage in PDA, but with Jake everything just felt right.

I wanted to have him draped all over me in public, and in private, the same way I wanted to see him defend me again because damn, that was hot.

I would gladly sacrifice a dozen dresses if it meant I got to see him all riled up like that.

He leads me down the hall and unlocks the door, holding it open for me.

Jake’s room is mostly what I would expect from a college athlete, with hockey memorabilia and video game posters covering a majority of the walls.

A thought about whether he had recently shared the bed with someone pops in my head and my stomach immediately drops.

Ugh. I had no reason to feel insecure. It’s not like we were really dating, and we never talked about being fake-exclusive.

He had every right to do whatever the hell he wanted.

He walks over to his closet and pulls out a basket of what I presume to be unfolded clean clothes. “What are we feeling? T-shirt? Flannel?”

“What about your hockey jersey?” I tease. Not every intrusive thought needs to be spoken Eliana. In fact, all should probably remain inside.

“I, uh. What?”

Fantastic. My awkwardness left him speechless. “I was just joking. Any chance I can borrow a sweater? I’m hoping I can pull it off as a dress.”

“Oh sure. Let me see what I have here.” Jake ducks into his closest. “Here you go.” He hands me a large cotton sweater and points to the private bathroom inside his room.

I quickly change into his sweater and am covered in his scent.

Forget feeling hot, I was on fire. I splash some water on my face in an attempt to cool myself down.

Looking in the mirror, love that I’m currently drowning in Jake’s sweater, and I contemplate how I can keep this long after this night is over.

Keep him . Shit. There’s no way this is going to end well.

We had agreed that once he got his midterm grade back, he would tell his mom the truth.

Which meant there would be no need for us to keep this dating facade up.

That should make me feel better but instead it bummed me out.

The more time I spent with him, the more I wanted our dating situation to be real, even if it made my work life more complicated. But maybe it would be worth it.

“You alright in there?” I jump at Jake’s voice from the other side of the door.

“Yup sorry. Coming out now.” I take a few deep breaths to settle my heart before I open the door and lean against the frame. “What do you think?”

My throat goes dry as I watch him peruse my body and lick his lips. His fists are clenched at his sides like he has to hold himself back.

“I think you should wear my clothes more often.”

“Practicing your fake-boyfriend lines again?” I laugh awkwardly.

“I’m serious.” He sounds like he means it as he steps closer. Eventually he is right in front of me, and I can feel the heat radiating off of his body.

I crane my neck a bit so I can look into his eyes. “Jake.”

“Eliana.”

“What are we doing?”

“What do you want us to be doing?” He braces himself against the doorframe, his arms caging me in.

“I don’t know.” It’s a lie. We both know it is.

“I think you do. I think you’re just too scared to say it. Too scared to let yourself take what you want.”

I lift my chin higher in defiance. “I’m not scared.”

“Then prove it,” he challenges, his eyes fixated on my lips. “Tell me what you want. Tell me all the things going on in that brilliant head of yours.”

“I don’t want to pretend to be your girlfriend anymore,” I confess.

He takes a minute to compose himself. “And why’s that?”

“Because it’s messing with my head.”

“Well, that makes two of us.” He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear as I stand there frozen in place. I try not to show my disappointment as he pulls his hand away.

“What are you thinking?” I ask, needing to shift the attention off me.

“I’m thinking of how I can convince you to let me keep you.”

A flutter of hope fills my heart, but I can’t bring myself to believe him, “What game are you playing Keeley?”

“No games. Just truths. I want you, Ellie. More than I’ve ever wanted anyone. And I don’t mean I want you just for tonight. I want us. I want you to be mine. Really and truly mine. ”

My eyes search his face, looking for a hint of that classic Jake teasing. But all I see is sincerity. “Yes.”

“Yes?”

I give him a small nod before tugging on the collar of his shirt, bringing his head down, and locking our lips together.