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Eliana

M y Google calendar was currently lit up like a Christmas tree.

Classes were in red, my lab hours as a research assistant were in purple, and nannying was in blue.

Admittedly there wasn’t a ton of open space left for things like eating lunch, watching TV, or sleeping, but that was to be expected.

Between a full course load as a psychology and creative writing double major and my jobs, I was spread thin.

Very thin. But I loved (most of) the things on my plate.

Getting to see the babies I nanny turn into small humans with their own little personalities and opinions always warmed my heart, and being a research assistant satiated my curiosity and perpetual need to problem solve.

I also loved a challenge and was very bad at saying no to people who needed my help.

On the outside, I was headstrong and scoffed at any obstacle in my way.

On the inside, I was a chronic people pleaser who felt the need to take on too much to make everyone else’s life easier.

That was what I had always done. What I felt comfortable doing. What I was good at. Sleep be damned .

The dining hall starts to flood with the lunch crowd when a calendar reminder pops up on my screen — really, what would I do without it?

— prompting me to pack up my bag and head towards the psychology building.

Entering Dr. Bethany Coleman’s lab I see Violet, the graduate student who serves as my main mentor and general support system.

Violet hired me to work on her projects when I was only a freshman.

In addition to getting to work with MRI scanners and super cute, chunky babies, Violet and I bonded over being first generation college students, and women of color.

Watching her navigate the very political land of academia was incredibly inspiring and motivating.

In many ways Violet was like the older sister I never had, and her kindness towards me was something I would always be grateful for.

“How was your weekend?” Violet asks looking up from her laptop .

“The usual. Saturday was spent nannying. Little Kai has started to babble my name and it’s the cutest thing ever. Truly love that kid. Sunday was spent working on a paper.”

“You’re really living the wild life aren’t you? It wouldn’t kill you to go out once in a while,” she teases.

“True. Nothing beats dusty, overcrowded frat basements.”

“Is this semester any less busy for you than the previous one?”

“That would be a negative. But such is being a student at Westchester. I’m used to it at this point.”

Violet opens her mouth before hesitating. Instead of continuing she shakes her head.

“What is it?”

“I feel bad asking you, given how spread thin you already are…” She bits her lip.

“Just ask me. I can always say no.” But would you? I ignore the voice in my head and give Violet a reassuring smile.

“I know you decided to take a break from tutoring this semester but there’s a student in my class who is in desperate need of one. And you’re the best.”

I had initially decided to put a pause on tutoring to free up some time in my schedule for the additional courses I was taking to knock out some of my creative writing requirements.

At one point my advisor suggested dropping my double major, but I couldn’t imagine that.

I’d chosen psychology because I loved learning about people, but also because the job prospects seemed a lot more stable than being a novelist. Despite the part of me that was a realist, I refused to fully give up on my second dream — writing murder mystery novels, with a proper dose of romance.

Which meant the tutoring gig was on the back burner, even though I loved it.

I was addicted to that moment when you could see the lightbulb moment in your mentee’s eyes.

The elation when they finally see their grades improving.

It never failed to make my heart overflow with joy.

Thinking back on those moments makes me reconsider taking a break.

“I should have room to take on one client. I can just cut back on some of my nannying hours, which should be fine since I can still get paid through the tutoring center.”

“Are you sure? I’d hate to add more to your plate.”

“Yup. I’ll make it happen, don't worry about it.” As a people pleaser herself, Violet knew hearing someone was in need was my kryptonite. It was frankly impossible for me to say no at this point.

“I have to warn you…This student is a little rough around the edges. Tutoring is his only option to stay on the hockey team, not something that he personally is choosing to do. He’s already attempted to bribe three other tutors and if another one quits on him, the tutoring center will put him on probation. ”

I’d worked with lots of student athletes before without any issues, but as a hockey fan myself I knew the team on campus viewed themselves as celebrities. The kind that didn’t need to work for their grades. I would need to keep my guard up with whoever my new tutee was.

“He’s not the first athlete I’ve had to tutor.” I shrug. “Plus, I love challenges. I do appreciate the warning though.”

“If he does end up giving you any trouble, even a hint of it, let me know and I’ll figure something else out.”

“Will do. Don’t worry Vi, I’ll whip him into shape.” I wink. I’ve dealt with cocky athletes before, and given he was at risk of being benched, he was stuck with me. Whether he liked it or not.