Page 15

Jake

“ W hy do you keep watching the door like the cops are gonna bust through any second?” Ollie screams over the loud music pouring through the speakers.

I’m two beers in and currently nursing my third, but even the slight buzz from the alcohol and the pretty girl eyeing me from across the room couldn’t fix my sour mood.

Normally I’d be the life of the party, bouncing around between doing keg stands, doing body shots, and playing beer pong with the boys.

But tonight I was sulking away on our battered old couch.

“I’m not staring at the door.” I roll my eyes, taking a swig from my drink.

“Denial is a river in Europe?—”

“Egypt.” I correct.

“I knew that. I’m just drunk.” He hiccups. “Regardless, you’re definitely holding out for someone.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You’re staring at the door like Taylor Swift when Jake Gyllenhaal didn’t show up to her 21 st birthday.”

I nearly spit out my beer. “What the fuck?”

“Taylor Swift. She used to date?—”

“Stop. Why do you know any of this?”

“First of all, All Too Well is a banger. Second of all, every girl on campus is a Swiftie. It pays me, and my dick, to know these things.”

“You’re an absolute nuisance.”

“You’re one to talk. Do you even remember the name of the girl whose tongue you were sucking on earlier tonight?”

“I will pay you twenty dollars right now to leave me alone.” I pull my wallet out of my pocket. “Actually, make that a hundred.”

“Wow so this is the thanks I get for coming to help a friend in need? I guess that’s why they say no good deed goes unpunished.”

As hard as I try not to laugh, I can't help it. Oliver was as unserious as he was a loyal friend, and I appreciated his concern for me. “I’m alright man. Maybe a little tired, but I’m still having fun.”

“Jake, I think I’ve seen you look more alive after Coach made us skate suicides than you do now. Which is why I’m circling back to my question. Who are you waiting for? Or if you prefer you can also answer, ‘What’s her name?’”.

“No one. And none of your business.”

“Hmm how can a secret mystery woman not exist while also not being any of my business? The math isn’t mathing for me, Jake.”

“Where’s that redhead you were talking to earlier? I’m sure she’s more willing to entertain you right now than I am.”

“Regina went to get me a drink. I could tell her to bring me back an extra if you want?”

“I’m good for now.” I lift the red solo cup in my hand to show him. “I appreciate it, though. ”

Oliver clicks his tongue. “C’mon man. I planned this whole party to cheer you up after the bomb Coach Hayes dropped on you.”

“Ugh don’t fucking remind me.” If I could go back in time and take back all the stupid things I did that made Mason hate me I would.

Today he decided to switch up the team lineup, knocking me down to the second line and sticking me with two freshmen.

Mason insisted this change was for the betterment of the team, that it would help bring our freshmen up to my level and prepare us for playoffs.

But I couldn’t help but feel like it was a personal punishment.

Like he was trying to tell me, “If I can’t trust you to keep your grade up, how can I trust you on the first line? ”.

“I really thought you were going to have an aneurysm in the locker room.” Ollie snorts.

“Honestly I’m surprised I didn’t. I’m still super pissed that he moved me down to the second like, but I guess I just have to trust the process. Hopefully Mason’s right about this being good for the overall team. And if not maybe Coach Jameson will rewrite the wrong.”

Ollie stands up abruptly. “I refuse to leave the resident party boy down in the dumps. I’m going to fix this.”

Before I can tell him that I’m just having an off night he’s disappeared into the crowd.

How bad would it be if I hid in my room for the rest of the night?

Damn I really was mopey tonight. If only I could figure out why.

It definitely had nothing to do with the fact that every time I thought about doing something fun, I imagined Eliana tucked away in her bedroom stressed over whatever assignment she was working on.

If she continued the way she was going she would definitely burn herself out.

And I was contributing to that. Another burden on her schedule that she had to deal with.

The fact that she was so busy she didn’t even have time to buy groceries was more than concerning.

I wonder if she’s even had dinner tonight.

Or if she’s so preoccupied by what she has to get done that she doesn’t even realize how late it is already.

I blink confused about when I suddenly became so preoccupied with my tutor that I was worried about whether or not she was eating.

There was a zero percent chance she was thinking about me at that moment.

Yet somehow Eliana had managed to take up my headspace without me even realizing it.

Maybe Ollie was right. I needed to snap myself out of whatever weird state I was in.

I head towards the kitchen to get myself another drink when I see Mandy in the corner with her sorority sisters.

Just the distraction I needed. Mandy was easy, and totally fine with my no-strings-attached rule.

Except I can’t bring myself to get any closer to her.

I’m reaching for the keg when Mandy grabs my hand and drags me down the hall into a decently secluded corner of Hockey House.

“Hey.” She practically purrs as she wraps her arms around my neck.

“Hi.” I give her a small smile, and then her lips are on mine.

She takes a step forward, effectively pushing me against the wall as she grinds herself on me.

I kiss her back, but I’m nowhere near as enthusiastic as she is.

The second I close my eyes I see Mason’s disappointed expression, telling me I’m being demoted.

I try my best to focus my attention on Mandy, except now Mason’s face is replaced with Eliana’s exhausted expression.

I feel a twinge in my chest. Fuck me . What the hell is wrong with my brain and why does hooking up with Mandy suddenly feel like such a… chore? This blows.

Mandy pulls away, looking confused. “Jake, is everything okay?”

“Yup. Definitely. Why wouldn’t it be?” I shrug, shoving my hands into the back pocket of my jeans.

“Well, for one, you’re not touching me at all. And your lips are giving dead fish.” She scrunches her eyebrows.“Did I do something wrong?”

“No. No. Definitely not. I’m just in a weird head space right now.”

“You sure I did nothing wrong?” She looks down at her shoes, clearly embarrassed.

“Mandy, I promise it’s not you. I’m just going through it right now.” I keep things vague, not having it in me to confess the fact that I could get benched soon.

“Oh, well, I’m sorry about that.”

“I appreciate it.” I look around awkwardly, wanting to get out of this conversation as fast as I can without offending her. “I’m probably not too fun to hang around tonight. I just need some space.”

I plop back down into my spot on the coach, eyes glued back onto the door, because alright fine .

Maybe Ollie was right and maybe there was a part of me that was hoping Eliana would come through the door.

Because she deserved a break and fun Saturday night to herself.

That was the only reason why I wanted to see her tonight. For her sake. Not for mine.

“So why’d you just blow off Mandy?” Ollie shows up again, startling me. He’s like my damn sleep-paralysis demon.

“I didn’t blow her off. I just wasn’t in the mood to hook up.”

“Since. When.” Oliver places a hand on my forehead like he’s taking my temperature. “Are you coming down with something?”

“Fuck off.” I swat his hand away.

“No, I’m serious. I’m genuinely concerned now. Maybe I should take you to the hospital.”

“Alright. I’m done here.” I get up from the couch and head towards the door.

“Where are you going?” Oliver calls.

“For a walk.” I just need to clear my head. And some fresh air.