Page 25

Eliana

T he downside of living in a student apartment, specifically one pitched as “rustic” (read: old and broken down), was having no control over the heater.

When I woke up this morning covered in sweat, I immediately called our maintenance line and was met with their voicemail.

I anxiously checked my schedule, trying to find a time to squeeze in another call to them, of which there was none.

Forget finding a time for them to come fix it.

I found myself wondering if Jake would be bothered by the heat.

Maybe he’d even need to take his shirt off.

It was then that I realized it was a random Thursday, and I expected to see him soon.

I guess our optional morning hangouts had become so routine that it felt like an event.

One I would schedule in my calendar. I was starting to feel a sort of…

pull towards him. Like I was a magnet who didn’t realize I was missing my other half until I found him, and now all I wanted to do was to be with him.

I was trying my hardest to remind myself that everything that happened that night was fake.

Not real. All a part of our plan to trick his family into thinking we’re together.

I repeated that mantra in my head over and over again as I heard a knock on my door, which was either Jake or a serial killer who targeted his victims first thing in the morning.

Maybe I should stop watching reruns of Law and Order before bed.

I quickly glance in the peephole to confirm the person behind my door was indeed Jake before throwing the door open.

He gives me a quick smile before walking in and handing me a breakfast sandwich — sausage, egg, and cheese on a rosemary bagel.

My favorite from the Beanery and now a regular part of my Tuesday and Thursday mornings.

“Sorry, my apartment is a million degrees. The building sets the heat, which means it toggles between the Arctic and Dante's Inferno in here.” I roll my eyes, taking a seat at my dining room table.

“No worries. It’s kinda nice after being outside in the cold. I’m sure I’ll defrost in seconds.” He smiles, taking his hoodie off. The shirt underneath lifts up slightly, exposing a hint of his abs and a muscled V before he adjusts the Henley back into place.

My arms start to form goosebumps and I silently curse myself for being this affected by a little bit of skin. I needed to distract myself before I did something incredibly dumb, or awkward, or both. “Any updates on your exam?”

Jake worries his lip between his teeth. “Should be getting my grade back any day now. Which probably explains why I haven’t been sleeping well these past couple of days.”

His nervous expression forms a pit in my stomach. “I’m sure you did great. You’ve been working so hard.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to pay off.”

I wanted to tell him that it would. Wanted to get rid of that somber expression of his, but he was right. I couldn’t say for certain that everything would be okay, but I did know I wanted to be there for him regardless of what happened next.

“We’ll figure it out. Whatever happens.” I reach out to give his hand a squeeze, which he accepts, entwining our fingers together.

He rubs his thumb in soothing circles on the back of my hand like I’m the one who needs comforting.

If you had told me a few months ago that I would not only call Jake Keeley a close friend but also one of the most caring people I know, I would’ve probably asked if there was another Jake Keeley you were referring to. But now I knew who he really was.

He was the guy who always made sure his friends were okay, going out of his way to drive them to airports or help fix their flat tires.

He was the guy who cooked dinner for Hockey House after grueling practices, and would run to help Sienna as soon as she called him.

As someone who always takes care of others, I felt small watching Jake do nice things for me.

Like his help meant I wasn’t capable on my own.

But looking at him now, unwrapping our food and laying it out on the table, I just feel incredibly grateful.

And hopeful. That he’ll continue to want to eat breakfast with me.

And make me dinner. And tuck my hair behind my ear.

Shit. I really was starting to fall for him.

There was no way this was going to end well.

His eyebrows knit together, my hand still in his. “Are you feeling okay?”

Did I accidentally speak my thoughts...I hope not. “Hmm?”

“You just feel a little warm. And I know you mentioned feeling hot in your apartment earlier, but it feels fine to me. Any chance you’re getting sick?”

I couldn’t get sick. At least not this week.

I picked up an extra nannying shift after my mom called and asked if I could help spot the cost of Josie’s inhaler for this month.

Plus, I promised Violet that I would cover her shift this week at the MRI center.

I glance at my schedule on my open laptop.

I could get sick next week…or in a couple of weeks when the semester is over, but getting sick now is not an option.

Eliana’s immune system, if you can hear me, please don’t fail me now. Too much is happening.

“I’m fine.” I had to be. There was no other option.

“You sure?”

I did a quick assessment of my symptoms. Sure, my nose may be a little stuffy, but winters in New England always dried me up. Same goes for my slightly scratchy throat. All I needed was a humidifier and a warm cup of tea with honey and I’d be A-OK.

“I’m positive. As healthy as a horse.” For some reason, I opt to give him an incredibly awkward thumbs up. Greeeeat. Now I’m being awkward.

Thankfully he lets it slide. “Well if you are feeling off and need to skip today’s hang, it’s not a problem. I don’t want you to over exert yourself.”

“I’m fine. Let’s eat.” As I look down at my favorite breakfast sandwich, I feel a little queasy. I scarf it down just to prove to my immune system that I am not sick.

My biggest red flag is the fact that I’m not a water girlie.

Tea and flavored seltzers were acceptable, but I found plain water so bland and thus had a bad habit of being dehydrated.

Which is why I woke up this morning feeling incredibly dizzy, my throat dryer than the Sahara.

It also didn’t help that I couldn’t fall asleep last night because of how unbearably hot it was in this apartment.

I was genuinely surprised Nicole didn’t get up in the middle of the night to complain to me about it.

Hopefully a shower would wake me up. That and chugging a couple glasses of (gag) water.

To my disappointment, I still felt a bit on edge after my shower.

But I opted to go about my day as I normally would.

There was nothing like a solid and predictable routine to center me.

I know it probably sounded crazy (or perhaps just a bit lame), but nothing made me more excited than checking things off of my to-do list. No matter how tired I was, knowing I was accomplishing the things I had set out to do always gave me a boost of energy that allowed me to push through.

Unfortunately, today, nothing was going my way.

By the time I made it to the lab, I had developed a cough that was supplemented by a series of never-ending sneezes.

Bethany had taken one look at me and gently ordered me to go home, “As much as I appreciate your dedication to your job, the health of our participants is most important. Go rest.”

The admin tasks I had to do today could be pushed off for another day or two, but I was still fully determined to cover Violet’s shift tonight.

I hadn’t ever let Violet down before, and I certainly didn’t plan on doing it now.

So I forced myself to take a power nap that would hopefully leave me feeling rested and less achy by tonight.

As soon as my head hit the pillow, I knocked out— a true sign of my exhaustion because usually it takes me at least an hour to fall asleep.

Mercifully, I set my alarm before I knocked out or else I’m sure I would have slept until tomorrow morning.

When I wake, I feel groggier than ever. This is why I don’t take naps.

You always feel worse after. I resort to my lowest point — the expired energy drinks sitting in my fridge.

Given my slight caffeine sensitivity, these notoriously fucked up my sleep for a few days.

But a girls gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.

I’m about to take a sip of a disgustingly sweet beverage when I hear a knock on my door.

To my surprise, I am met with the 6’4 hockey player who has been occupying a bit too much of my headspace lately.

He smiles wide, and before I know it, I’m wrapped up in his massive arms and being spun around.

The movement doesn’t help the dizziness but I don’t want him to let me go.

I rest my head on his shoulder and close my eyes, relishing the way I fit so perfectly into his embrace and the subtle smell of aftershave that hits my nose.

I bite my lip to hide the smile that threatens to break free. 3 p.m. Jake is much handsier than 6 a.m. Jake. Why the big hug?”

“Because you’re my favorite person.” He shuts the door behind him after he releases me. I head to the living room, back turned to him so he hopefully misses the redness of my cheeks.

“Oh? And what did I do to receive such honor?” I take a seat on the couch, extending out my legs so he can’t sit next to me. I didn’t know if I could trust myself not to do something embarrassing around him, especially now that I likely had a high fever and was addicted to being touched by him.