Page 64 of Only You

‘M-hm.’ He leaned back, leisurely resting his arm along the back of the bench. Dani eyed it but didn’t move from under it. He figured that was a good enough sign. At least, he hoped so. ‘You know you have to show me the pic, right?’

She blanched before scooting away. ‘It’s not that big of a deal.’

‘Hey, if you’re going to have a picture of me that can circulate at any moment, I need to at least authorise it.’

She grimaced but reluctantly unlocked her phone, handing it over. ‘It’s not a bad picture.’

He took it, head tilting curiously as he looked at the photo.

She was right. It wasn’t bad at all. It wasn’t goofy like the pictures his friends had of him or serious like the few pictures his dad could convince him to take.

He looked… relaxed. It had been a long time since he’d seen himself like that.

‘It’s not,’ he agreed, handing her back the phone. ‘I guess I can allow you to keep it.’

She raised her eyebrows at him and inched closer. ‘Allow me?’

He nodded despite her intense gaze. ‘Yeah. It’ll keep you from missing me so much.’ Her eyes widened, and the faintest traces of blush appeared on her cheeks.

‘I— It’s not—’

‘Relax.’ He smiled, raising his hands up in surrender. ‘I’m done teasing.’ Dani scowled and leaned against the bench, her shoulders brushing his arm. He ignored the electricity that skittered across his skin. ‘How’s… everything?’ he asked. ‘Anything new?’

A shadow fell over her face. ‘Other than watching Demir and Selene lose their lives just as they were getting started? The memories were straightforward this time,’ she said, looking down at her lap. ‘We’re kind of bad at picking each other, huh?’

Jones chewed on the inside of his cheek; this time there was no laughter. Instead, he felt an age-old hollowness fill his chest. So many years spent alone, so many days waiting for her, so little time to savour what they had.

‘It’s not like I don’t understand why.’

She tapped her foot anxiously, head still down. When she spoke, her voice was rough with unshed tears. ‘I’m sorry.’ She finally looked at him, eyes reddened and lips trembling. ‘I don’t enjoy hurting you. I never wanted to hurt you. Not then or now. I just… I don’t know. I can’t…’

‘Hey,’ he said softly, taking her hand in his. Her fingers were slender, but the tips were rough from years of playing cello. He liked that he could feel her dedication.

‘This thing between us has never been simple,’ he whispered. ‘We can’t stop the world from being against us.’

‘I just don’t understand how we… or rather Demir and Damien could be so brave, when Selene and Sabine couldn’t.’

Jones sighed, shrugging weakly. ‘I don’t know if it was bravery,’ he confessed. ‘Maybe it was selfishness, too, wanting things I— we couldn’t have.’

She didn’t say anything, instead moving so they were hip to hip, her head resting on his shoulder. The scent of her hair – cocoa butter, almond and rosemary – filled his nose, and all at once he just wanted to fall into her. He squeezed her hand, hoping he wouldn’t have to let go anytime soon.

‘I think we’re also not good at being fair to each other either.’

He huffed out a small laugh. ‘There’s… room for improvement,’ he agreed.

Dani giggled before sitting up, her face mere inches from his. ‘Okay. Let’s make up new endings for our lives. We can call it Alternative History.’

‘And this is helpful how?’

‘Well, the worst has already happened, which means we can only go up from here. I mean, why not? We’re here. We’re alive and together again,’ she pointed out. ‘So, Damien’s alternative life: go.’

‘Okay, umm… Sabine never went back in the house,’ he started. ‘We escape the estate and go to the countryside, get a plot of land to farm on and rebuild our lives.’

‘We move to Monaco,’ Dani added, a smile forming on her face. ‘We start a whole new life, have a kid or two.’

‘Of course,’ Jones jumped in. ‘Teach them to fight and everything.’

Dani grinned before continuing. ‘We get a home with an ocean view and live happily ever after.’

‘Pass down the house, which the kids can sell and start their own lives.’ ‘Look at you, being practical.’

‘Says the girl who picks an oceanfront house in one of the most expensive places in the world.’

She giggled, rolling her eyes playfully and pulling their hands into her lap while he resisted lowering his arm to wrap it around her. They weren’t quite there yet.

‘Next, David and Sarah,’ he said. ‘David finds a better shelter and Sarah is able to get actual medical attention.’

‘They survive the bombs, become close due to their experience, and move out of London. It would take a little time, but I think they would get married. No kids, though,’ Dani chimed in.

‘It would probably be too much for them.’ The words were gloomy, but he doubted Sarah and David would have been sad with that particular outcome of their lives. He knew from experience that being alive and in love made up for a lot.

‘Okay, what about Demir and Selene?’ Dani asked.

‘Easy,’ he said. ‘Selene actually doesn’t show up to see Demir perform.’

‘They catch up later on and Selene realises she wants to move on, too,’ Dani adds. ‘She probably even packs a bag in the middle of the night, but she decides to give Jack one more try.’

‘Meanwhile, Demir doesn’t go into the alley that night. He starts dating but doesn’t quite feel the same connection as he did with Selene.’

Dani smirked. ‘I stay on your mind, huh?’

‘Eh…’ He pinches his fingers close together, earning a laugh. ‘Keep going.’

‘Okay, okay. So, Selene breaks up with Jack right before their elopement. Leaves a note on the bedside table and disappears in the middle of the night.’

‘Damn. Not even a wedding?’ Jones asked.

‘They did not have the patience to deal with each other’s families so I’m going to say no.’

‘So, you have no faith in them getting married? Not even a little?’

Dani hummed in contemplation before shaking her head.

‘Looking back on it, Selene was already gone,’ she said. ‘Maybe she wouldn’t have left him so soon, but I think she would’ve eventually. Whether or not she still had feelings for Demir, the one thing he showed her was that she and Jack didn’t fit well together. She just wasn’t ready for the truth.’

‘Wow.’ Jones was impressed at the insight. Dani nudged his shoulder, bringing him back to the moment.

‘Go on,’ she urged. ‘Selene leaves…’

‘Dizzy Gillespie comes into town,’ Jones continued. ‘They both go to the concert and see each other there. They talk, maybe have a moment of denial but, ultimately, they decide to try. It works, and they live happily ever after.’

‘No kids or marriage?’

Jones shook his head. ‘It doesn’t suit them.’

‘I was thinking the same thing.’ They stared at each other, the idyllic endings lingering just out of reach.

What beautiful dreams…

‘Let’s go on a date.’

Jones froze for a long moment before clearing his throat. ‘Doesn’t that go against our unspoken agreement?’ Heat crept up the back of his neck, his damn hopes rising once again.

‘It’s a stupid agreement,’ she said. ‘We’re here, together again.

We get to try again. Why pass that up? I mean, I don’t know how much of this is past me talking or present me being tired of being in limbo but…

I don’t want to have to get close to losing you to realise – again – all the things I’m missing. So, let’s just try.’

‘Dani…’

You are going to lose me. You’re a lot closer than you think.

As much as he knew he should say the words, they got caught in his throat.

Hope brightened her eyes even as she nervously chewed her lip.

The temptation was too much. This was the first time almost nothing stood in their way.

Every part of him wanted to savour that, to be reckless just for a little longer, but he had been reckless before and what had that gotten him?

Still, the answer was inevitable.

‘Yes.’ He watched as her face lit up before she tried to contain her glee. ‘Yeah?’

He nodded, and Dani smiled. He allowed himself to return it, to cherish the moment before he cleared his throat. ‘But I want to help you look for an answer. There might be power in numbers there.’

She rolled her eyes playfully. ‘I guess a research assistant wouldn’t hurt,’ she agreed reluctantly, a smile on the edge of her lips.

His chest clenched at the sight, knowing what he said next would take it away. ‘And… I need to tell you something important.’

The words hung heavy between them, and her happiness turned solemn. He took a deep breath, ready to tell her the truth about everything but the words died as she cupped his face. She leaned towards him, stilling for a moment, her eyes questioning. He answered by closing the gap between them.

He had expected their first kiss in this life to feel familiar, having the lingering scent of French roses or the quietness of midnight.

Instead, he could only focus on how slowly Dani moved, revelling in each kiss for as long as she could before giving him another.

He breathed into her, enjoying the taste of honey and mint on her lips just as much.

He felt her tremble when his fingers brushed her cheek, but she sank into him the moment he pulled her closer.

She felt like relief, a salve to all the wounds he’d been carrying.

They lingered in that moment for a small pocket of infinity before pulling away to catch their breath.

‘Tell me later,’ she whispered.

For a moment, Jones was lost, and it took a while to remember his unspoken confession.

He opened his mouth to protest, but she shook her head, her eyes pleading for more time to linger in the promising feeling of the moment.

Time was the most precious thing he had to give, so how could he deny her that?

‘You pick the date and I’ll bring the snacks,’ he said instead.

I’ll give you all the time I have left.

Dani raised her brow. ‘But what if we don’t need snacks?’

He looked at her indignantly. ‘Every date needs snacks,’ he insisted.

She laughed again, the beauty of it soothing his longing. After all these years, all their lives, she was finally right in front of him, ready to try again.

Dani’s phone, forgotten on her lap, buzzed, and they jumped. She looked at the screen groaning. ‘I have to go to practise.’

‘Mind if I walk you to your car?’ ‘You better.’

Dani didn’t bother to hide her smile as they stood up.

Their shoulders brushed every few steps as they walked side by side.

Jones decided to savour the anticipation.

As it was, his condition would be hard on them, and he had enough regrets from his other lives.

This lifetime, he refused to rush out of fear.

One way or another, he knew they had a future together.

‘By the way,’ Dani said suddenly. ‘You do know that Demir would have definitely been one of those old-school jazz poets, right?’

Jones smirked. ‘You said the game was called Alternative History.’ She looked at him curiously. ‘Is that a clue?’

He smiled as he gave into the urge to put his arm around her shoulder.

‘I don’t know how much you remember about our next lifetime, but I’ll save you some suspense. Look up the book Because I’m Merely a Song by a guy name Dominic.’

Her eyes sparked in recognition, and she looked at him in awe. ‘Poetry?’ ‘Poetry.’