Page 27 of Only You
‘Madame,’ she said with a wary look. Sabine prayed she wouldn’t ask about last night. Maybe God decided to grant her mercy because Sandra said, ‘You have company. He’s waiting for you in the garden.’
Damien sat on a small, wooden bench tucked away deep in the garden, shoulders slouched and eyes aching. Between patching Cadieux up, sneaking him into the caserns, and wondering what would happen all night, he was exhausted.
After leaving the guard in the hands of the doctor, he had spent all night packing, waiting for Roulet to walk in and discharge him.
He had enough money to start over somewhere else.
Not to mention he knew where to find other work if he had to.
He would’ve been on his way to talk to Roulet himself right now were it not for Sabine.
They still had unfinished business. And judging from the dark circles under her eyes, she seemed to feel the same.
‘We should talk,’ he suggested softly. Taking a deep breath, she sat on the bench beside him.
He waited for her to say something, anything.
He had thought she would be pacing back and forth in a rage or talking so fast he could only understand that she was worried.
Instead, she sat completely still, like a statue.
Her eyes were haunted just as they had been weeks ago.
It made him uneasy, and he decided to break the silence.
‘Aren’t you going to look at me?’ She shook her head stubbornly. ‘Sabine, talk to me. Please.’
‘I can’t,’ she said, her voice a shaky whisper. ‘Please… don’t make me say it.’ Arms wrapped around herself, she looked small and lost. Damien frowned, guilt washing over him. He stroked her cheek gently.
‘I have the papers. We can leave right now.’
Sabine closed her eyes and bit her lip as she turned away from him.
He wrapped his arm around her. ‘The protests are getting worse. I wouldn’t be surprised if they boiled over soon.
I don’t want to see what happens to you when it comes.
We can have a life away from this place and go where no one will find us. ’
While not as prepared as his first plan, he knew the ports well and more than enough soldiers willing to help them out. Even if they had to wait weeks, there were plenty of places to hide in the city. All they had to do was decide where to go. Even if he never saw France again, he wouldn’t mind.
He’d give up the world for her.
‘Someone will get hurt if I do that and I refuse to have anyone else’s blood on my hands,’ she told him resolutely. Damien nearly flinched but told himself Sabine was frightened. Last night was fresh on their minds. Still, his heart twisted in his chest when she said, ‘We should have never met.’
‘No.’ He grabbed her shoulders and turned her towards him. He held her face gently, tilting it up so she could meet his eyes. ‘I don’t regret this. We needed to meet. I needed to know what a life with love – real love – felt like, and you gave that to me.’
Tears fell from her hazel eyes with every blink, and he could feel her tight grip on his jacket; she didn’t want to let go. He placed his forehead against hers. ‘Be with me, Sabine. Please. Let’s be free.’
‘Free,’ she repeated. ‘My first love said the same thing. He knew my father would never approve, and he wasn’t as lucky as Cadieux.’
‘You were young then. I know this city like the back of my hand. We can get away,’ he insisted. ‘Give us a chance.’
‘People will get hurt.’
‘No one else is involved. It’ll just be you and me. Isn’t that all that matters?’ Sabine stared at his chest, her brows furrowed.
Believe me , he wanted to beg, the words were already on his lips. He had a feeling that last night wasn’t the first time since her first love that Sabine had been exposed to a scene like that, but he knew he could keep her safe. All she had to do was say yes.
When she looked into his eyes, he already knew her answer.
‘After seeing what happened, how could you ask that of me?’
His hands dropped from her face, not expecting the crushing feeling that followed. It was like the ground had disappeared from under him as he held her gaze, the unwavering look telling him the hard truth.
There was no more fight left in Sabine. She had seen enough. She couldn’t push anymore. She couldn’t believe that he would be all right should she take the chance. And despite his words all those months ago, she was no soldier; she was merely a girl who had seen enough death in her life.
With nothing left to say, he placed Kwame’s dagger next to her and left, mind hazy as the hope bled from his future.
In his dazed state, he somehow ended up in General Roulet’s office at the caserns. He didn’t hesitate to knock. He heard a muffled, ‘Come in,’ and opened the door. Roulet looked up from his paperwork, brows furrowing in concern.
‘Captain,’ he said. ‘Is there something wrong?’
Damien tried to form words, but nothing came out.
Nothing made sense to him anymore. He sat down on a couch by the window, his gaze falling to the floor.
Silence filled the room, only briefly interrupted by Roulet moving from behind his desk to sit in the chair in front of him.
Damien tried to gather his words as he finally accepted the truth.
His time with Sabine was over.
‘Allow me to go to the wedding. I’ll go wherever you assign, no questions asked… I need to see the ending for myself.’ He forced himself to look at Roulet and for once was comforted by the concern he found in the general’s gaze. ‘I was a fool, wasn’t I?’
Roulet sighed, patting his shoulder. ‘No more than the rest of us,’ he said.
Roulet left his hand on Damien’s shoulder as he stared at the floor. He was grateful for the gesture, not strong enough to move just yet. He may have only received half of Roulet’s love growing up but, at that moment, it was enough.