Page 8

CHAPTER 8

LATHAN

The happiness I’d gained from hanging out with my brother vanished when I stepped into the kitchen. I blinked, confident I was hallucinating.

“What the fuck?”

“Oh, good. You’re home! I made dinner. Or, not really made, but I ordered it. I’ve never had sushi, so I’m not one hundred percent sure what I got, but this place was highly recommended,” Miller rambled. His chocolate curls bounced around his head in a perfect hockey flow. I had the oddest urge to run my fingers through it.

At that thought, I shifted my gaze to the rest of his face and took in his rosy cheeks and plump lips. Plump? Rosy? What the hell was going through my head?

His bare chest wasn’t any better, and I considered returning my gaze to his face, but my eyes continued their assessment of their own accord and traveled down the defined pectoral and abdominal muscles. The hard work he put into his body for hockey was impressive, and saliva pooled in my mouth as I admired it.

That was all this was. I understood the hard work and dedication it took to keep your body in shape, regardless of whether I’d ever looked at my other teammates’ bodies. They didn’t parade half-naked around me. That was why.

The dark hair on the lower half of his stomach pulled my eyes further, beckoning me to follow that trail. Except it didn’t lead to the waistband of his briefs as I expected, but a tiny apron he’d tied around his waist. One that said, “ Once you put my meat in your mouth, you’re gonna want to swallow .”

I jerked my head up and shoved my hands into my pockets. I’d take his tempting curls over the confusing feelings his lower half brought.

“You like?” he asked. I blinked away the fog that had enveloped me and noticed the vulnerability in his question.

Living with Miller wasn’t as horrible as I expected. He talked nonstop, left a trail of debris everywhere he went, and refused to wear more than his boxers. Despite that, it was nice having someone else in the apartment. It didn’t feel as lonely or as cold, something I hadn’t realized until his overwhelming presence took up residence.

He constantly made me food and had a pot of fresh coffee waiting for me every morning. Granted, it had only been three days of us living together, but it was nice.

And that terrified me. I didn’t like depending on others and Miller’s presence was becoming something I could enjoy instead of tolerate.

So I’d ignored him unless it had to do with hockey. When he’d gone out with Landon and Cam after the game last night, I’d declined and returned home. It hadn’t been the reprieve I’d expected, and a hollowness had settled into my heart until I heard him return.

Even his blatant flirting, something I was sure he did only to rile me, hadn’t bothered me that much. But this… this was too far.

“Take it off,” I grunted.

“If you insist.” His eyes sparkled as he reached back to untie the strings. The instant he didn’t fight, I knew I’d stepped right into his trap. Underneath his apron was the sluttiest pair of briefs I’d ever seen. They were tight and short and barely covered the mounds of his ass.

My heart pounded at the sight and I clenched my fists. I was going to murder my teammate.

“So, did I do good? Do you like?” he asked.

I blinked, convinced he was playing with me. He wanted me to like him ? I needed to up my asshole game if he thought that outcome was possible.

“Why the fuck would I like you?”

His smile fell, and I felt terrible for making him sad for a second. Then he recovered and ignored my question.

“The sushi,” he said, gesturing to the spread across my island.

My cheeks heated when I realized he hadn’t meant himself at all. I took in the impressive spread, and my mouth watered at the sight. I didn’t let myself have too many indulgences, but sushi was definitely one of them. According to Cam, my brother’s polycule member, it was one of my love languages. I hadn’t believed him at the time. But as some of my irritation at Miller dissolved, I had to concede that Cam might be onto something.

“It’s fine,” I said and sat at the island. Miller’s eyes dulled, and I had the sudden urge to change my answer. To make him feel better. What the fuck!

“Cool. So, um, I guess, dig in.”

I watched with amusement as Miller looked at the sushi in confusion. When he grabbed a fork to stab a piece, I reached out and grabbed his wrist.

“No.”

“But… I mean… I know I got it for you, but I thought I could eat it, too.” He pouted.

The corners of my mouth tugged, and I bit back a laugh. Why was that pout so cute? And when did I find anything Miller did cute? Once I had my face schooled, I took the fork out of his hand and replaced it with a pair of chopsticks.

“Oh.” His mouth made a perfect ‘O’ as he stared at the chopsticks. I snapped mine together, expertly picked up a piece of sushi, and set it on my plate. I put a minuscule amount of wasabi on top and then dipped it in soy sauce before placing it in my mouth. I moaned around the flavors that exploded on my tongue.

Once I’d devoured the piece, I moved to select my second but paused when I noticed Miller attempting to hold the chopsticks. His tongue poked out the tiniest bit as he concentrated, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get them to work.

Taking pity on the sushi he was destroying, I stood and walked around the island. “Like this,” I said and took his hand to demonstrate how to hold the two pieces. “Anything you don’t like?” I asked.

“Um, well,” he started, and I knew he would say something smart.

“Food wise,” I added.

He snorted. “Not sure. I haven’t tried many things, so it could go either way.”

The sudden urge to expose him to new things filled me, but I squashed it. I didn’t have time to teach a puppy, and Miller was the neediest puppy I’d ever seen.

“These are cooked, and these are raw. If it’s your first taste of sushi, start with the cooked. Shrimp, salmon, and tuna,” I said, pointing to the different rolls he’d ordered.

“What’s your favorite?”

“Salmon.”

“I’ll try that one then.”

With both of our hands holding the chopsticks, I showed him how to grab a piece and walked him through the steps to prepare it. Once he had it done, I stepped back and returned to my plate. I flexed my hand, the sudden loss of his overwhelming. I needed to stop getting close to him. It did weird things to my body.

We ate mostly in silence; only the sounds of our moans as we enjoyed the food could be heard. It was entertaining to watch Miller try new things. His face was open as he broadcasted his opinions, and I quickly learned which ones he liked and disliked. I didn’t know why I cared, but I stored the information away like a pirate with stolen treasure.

“How am I stuffed from eating bite-sized food?” he mumbled.

“It’s more filling than it appears.”

I stood and gathered everything up. Miller joined me, and we packaged the leftovers and tossed the trash. He even wiped down the counter, and I became transfixed by how the muscles in his back moved. His legs were thick, and I lost focus as I stared at the tiny briefs. My face flushed, my heart rate picked up, and I suddenly felt dizzy. Odder was how my dick strained against my zipper.

Miller finished cleaning, spun around, and froze when he spotted me. The earlier mischievous glint in his eyes returned, and I gulped as he neared me.

“See something you like, Silver?”

“No.”

He chuckled, not buying my lie. Not that I could blame him. I didn’t either.

“You know, I can’t quit thinking about the greeting you gave me the night I moved in.” He brushed a knuckle down my cheek, and my cock twitched in response. I didn’t understand it or why I was having this kind of reaction to him, but there was no denying my body at least understood.

“Nothing happened,” I choked out.

“You can pretend all you want that it didn’t, but we both know something did.”

I gritted my teeth and bit the inside of my cheek in the process. The burst of pain helped the lust recede enough for me to think.

“It doesn’t matter. If you tell someone, they won’t believe you. I have people who will squash it before it sees the light of day. Besides, I’ve been celibate for years. Your claim is unwarranted.”

His eyes widened at my words. I hadn’t meant to reveal much, but it was out there. Miller stepped back, and he frowned.

“I would never share your business without your permission. Especially regarding your sexuality. No one should ever take that choice away from you.”

I swallowed at the sincerity in his words. I’d been ready for attack, but again, Miller surprised me.

“If you’re not going to tell people, why keep bringing it up? I’m not gay, and it’s not happening again.”

“You don’t have to be gay to like dick. There’s a whole slew of ways to identify.” He moved closer until his chest pressed into mine. “And why can’t it happen again?”

“Because I don’t want it to.”

“Hmm. Is that so?” He ghosted a breath across my neck, and I gripped the counter behind me like my life depended on it. If he touched my dick, I would be a goner.

Please, touch me.

Please, don’t.

God, I was a mess.

“Your eyes and mouth don’t agree, Silver Spoon. But I’ll let it go for now.” He stepped back, and I had to grip the counter tighter to not pull him back. What was wrong with me? Maybe I had mercury poisoning? I’d look up the symptoms later.

“You’re delusional. That was a fluke and won’t be happening again.”

“Thou doth protest too much, Silver. So before you go and tell me all the reasons why it won’t, how about you hear the reasons why it should.” He crossed his arms, and I whined at the loss of the view. Miller smirked but didn’t comment on my embarrassing sound. If my mother could see me now, she’d faint at my inability to control myself.

“Deny it all you want, but orgasms feel good, and if the score from the game last night is any indication, it helped you play better.” He lifted an eyebrow, and my smile dropped.

Was he right? I scored three goals last night and got a hat trick on my brother. I assumed it was because Landon was the goalie, and I always played better against him. We were competitive and worked twice as hard to best each other.

But what if Miller was right and my performance was because of him?

No. No. That couldn’t be right. He was just getting into my head.

“I don’t know why you’ve chosen to be celibate, but for me, finding a person I trust enough to be intimate with is hard. I’ve used apps but haven’t had much luck in Austin yet.”

Rage bubbled under my skin at the thought of Miller with someone.

“I don’t trust you,” I gritted out. If he kept talking, I was likely to do something out of character and kiss him just to prove a point.

What that point was, I wasn’t ready to acknowledge.

Miller rolled his eyes. “If you didn’t trust me, you wouldn’t have let me stay with you. Deny it all you want, but I know that much about you. You’re private and like your space. So having me here says a lot. You might not trust me a lot, but you trust me enough to know I won’t steal your silverware in the middle of the night or sell photos of you sleeping. We have a basic level of trust as teammates, and maybe more because of our shared history with your brother.”

I wanted to deny his claims, but he was right, so I stayed quiet. It was easier than admitting the truth.

“We could help each other out, Silver. Roommate to roommate. It stays private and just between us. Nothing more than physical release. I’ll show you how good it can be. I’ll let you relax that control you have and just feel for once. And if it’s an advantage in our games, even better. It’s win-win.”

“Not interested.” I shoved his chest and stormed out of the kitchen.

“You’re welcome for dinner,” he called after me. “Oh, and I fed Alaska earlier in case he tries to act like he’s starving!”

I paused and clenched my fists at my side. Being rude to him on my behalf was one thing, but my cat was my weakness. Taking a deep breath, I turned around and met his eyes.

“Thank you for the sushi and feeding Alaska.” I nodded and pivoted, hoping I could escape the rest of the way before he said anything else. I wasn’t that lucky.

“Invitation is open in case you get your eyes and mouth to agree, Silver Spoon.”

Squeezing my eyes shut, I slipped into my room and shut the door. I rested against it and willed my heart to slow. I hated how Miller’s words echoed around my brain, rooting themselves and making me want things.

Things I’d never felt before. Things I wasn’t sure how to control. Things I was beginning to crave.

Why did the notion of letting go and having Miller take control sound so good?

Could I do it? Could it really stay quiet? Could I really have something for myself?

The questions plagued me the rest of the night. I’d been right believing Miller was my enemy. He was dangerous in ways I’d never encountered.

The problem was I no longer cared.

I wanted the escape he offered, but I didn’t know if I was brave enough to pursue it.

Fuck. This.