Page 22

CHAPTER 22

LATHAN

I used to believe that waking up with someone else in my bed would be my worst nightmare. Mostly because I liked my space and didn’t want to be touched; a person in my bed would interfere with both. But waking up to Miller was becoming my favorite thing.

It had nothing to do with the wake-up blow job, frotting, or sex, either. Mostly.

I liked having him near. Knowing that he was safe and warm next to me. I could touch him whenever I wanted and be touched in return. It was a comfort I hadn’t known I needed.

We’d won our game against Vegas and returned home a few days later to play Calgary, which we also won. Now, we had a few days off before a long stretch of home games, and I planned to use my time judiciously.

“I’m beginning to doubt your whole celibate thing,” Miller muttered as I wrapped my lips around his cock.

I hummed but didn’t respond as I took him deeper. I still couldn’t take him all the way, but I’d gotten a lot better since my first attempt.

“Oh, God,” Miller moaned. His thighs tensed, and his hands fisted the sheets. “Your mouth is divine, baby. I dream about it.”

The first time he’d used baby, I’d wanted to smack the word out of his mouth. I wasn’t anyone’s baby.

But now… it made my heart flip over and my stomach bottom out.

I craved the soft way he gasped it like I was his last meal and I’d become a glutton for the term of endearment. I hadn’t thought I was capable of being anyone’s anything, but with Miller, I was beginning to believe I could.

“Yes, just like that. Right there. So good,” he cooed as his thighs tightened around my head. I slid my hand over his sack and caressed his perineum. I hadn’t gotten up the courage to go further after that initial blow job, but maybe today was the day. Swirling my tongue and sucking on his tip, I pushed the worry I wouldn’t do it right out of my mind and passed over his hole.

Miller twitched in my mouth and released a loud moan. So I did it again, this time pressing more on the tight ring of muscles. His hips jolted forward, and his cock slid down my throat. I gagged and then remembered to relax. My throat contracted around him, and his fingers fisted my hair as he came down my throat. I greedily drank down every drop.

“What the heck?” he gasped as he came to.

I sat up, wiped my hand across my mouth, and smiled. “Good morning, Mills.”

He huffed a laugh. “I’ll say. Geez, Lath. I think you just blew my mind.”

Grinning, I leaned forward and kissed him. Now that I knew I could, I couldn’t seem to stop. Every minute we were in this apartment, some part of me was touching him. My lips. My hands. My body. If I could play hockey with him attached to me, I’d do it. It was becoming harder to keep myself in check outside of this apartment than I ever expected.

Thank fuck I didn’t have to on the road anymore. Those days had become torture, and I dreaded the time apart from him. I should have been worried about how addicted to Miller Fahn I’d become, but I was too happy to care.

Happy .

I hadn’t felt truly happy in years.

Again, another red flag waved in my face, but I couldn’t bring myself to turn around and run in the opposite direction. Miller had transfixed me, body and soul.

“What do you want to do today?” I asked after breaking the kiss. It was rare to have a day off, and I hoped his plans revolved around being naked all day.

“I’ve got a meeting later, and I wanted to finish up some bracelets so I could send them off for Christmas.”

I frowned. “What meeting? Is it about the team?”

He chuckled and climbed out of bed. “Nah. It’s for the Rainbow Lounge, the youth organization I volunteer with.” My heart rate slowed at the news, and I followed him into the bathroom. He turned on the shower and eyed me while waiting for it to warm. “You could come with me?” he asked with a hopeful look.

The air around me froze. Okay, not the air. Just me. I blinked, a million excuses flooding my mind. But it was already too late. Miller’s face had fallen, and he stepped into the water.

“I—”

“Never mind. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

My heart threatened to break free of my rib cage with how hard it pounded. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to spend time with him. But would people know I liked dick if I joined him? Would it get back to my mom? The team? There were too many unknowns, and I wasn’t ready for any questions coming my way.

“It’s not…”

“It’s fine, Silver. I get it. I would never force you to do something you’re not ready for.” He smiled, but it didn’t meet his eyes. An anvil sat heavy on my chest, but this time for a different reason. The thought of losing Miller, of him not being proud of me, felt worse than all the unknowns.

The rest of the shower was quiet as we washed and rinsed, and though we fell into our normal routine of making breakfast together, it felt off. The big elephant I’d been ignoring had finally made its appearance, and we could no longer shove it into the corner.

Miller got dressed, and I put on gym shorts and a shirt. There was no way I could stay home while he was out and not go bonkers with my thoughts, so it was better to get a workout in.

“I’ll pick up something for dinner on my way back,” he said before he kissed me. I nodded and watched him walk out, my heart following him.

Something had shifted between us, but it wasn’t the blissful happiness I’d been feeling earlier this morning. No, this was pure dread, and I hated it.

* * *

The four days between games were not spent as I’d hoped—naked and in bed. After his meeting—where I learned that fucking asshole Toby had been present—Miller returned and tried to act as if everything was the same, but the easy air between us was gone. We were both more cautious and tip-toed around the other.

I hated it. Loathed it, actually.

We lost the next two home games, and I couldn’t help but take the blame. On the outside, everything was the same. We fucked. We kissed. We cuddled. We played hockey.

But inside, it was all wrong.

The safety and comfort that had existed evaporated and had been replaced with a more sinister energy. How long would he be okay with hiding this? How many events would he go to while I stayed home? Would it be enough if we could only be open around our friends?

The questions plagued me to the point that I wasn’t sleeping. My routine was off, and that meant my game was off, too.

“Get your head in the game,” Viggy shouted, slapping me on the helmet. “You’re acting like we already lost this game. The team needs you to show them we haven’t.”

I nodded. We were up by one goal with half a period left. We just had to keep our lead, and we’d turn this losing streak around.

Miller laughed at something Bell said, and I lost my focus. Does he like him? Would he rather be with him ?

I grimaced and shot daggers at Bell, not that he noticed. His eyes were glued to number five. Huffing, I turned and caught the flirty equipment manager handing Miller a stick. His fingers grazed Miller’s mitt as he released it, and I didn’t miss the suggestive look in his eyes. Thankfully, Miller was focused on the ice and not the asshat who dared to flirt with him in my presence, saving the man from meeting my fists.

Fuck. I couldn’t go around punching everyone who touched him. Though, at this moment, it felt like a solid solution.

“Stop it,” he whispered to me, knocking me on the side with his elbow.

“What?”

“You’re glaring.”

“This is my normal look.”

He laughed, and it felt like I’d won something. Miller shook his head, and I watched transfixed as the sweaty curls attempted to move off his forehead. When they got like that during sex, I’d run my fingers through them and smooth them off. God. I wanted to do that right now. My dick hardened in my cup, reminding me this was not the time.

Miller smirked and dropped his eyes to my crotch, and everything felt right with the word again.

“Line change,” Coach called, and we sprang into action. Five minutes to go, and we’d have a win. We just had to hold it for five minutes.

Luckily, the hockey gods were in our favor, and we won. The team celebrated in the locker room, and the talk of the Christmas party the next night floated around the room.

“Yo, Silver. You giving a speech?” someone shouted.

“Fuck that,” I grumbled, and everyone laughed, so I tossed the middle finger over my shoulder, garnering more laughter.

Once I gathered my belongings, I turned and looked for Miller, but I couldn’t find him anywhere. Bell was still at his cubby, so I stalked over there.

“Where’s Miller?”

His head was bent over his phone, and upon my arrival, he quickly hid it from view. His face blanched when he spotted me towering over him.

“Hm?”

“Miller. Did he leave?”

“Oh.” He turned to look around him. “I guess.”

Growling, I stalked off. This was why I didn’t talk to people. I searched the weight room, training room, and equipment office, but he wasn’t there. I pulled out my phone to see if he’d texted, but there was nothing from him. Shooting one off, I begrudgingly headed for the exit. If he didn’t want to ride home together, fine. He could find his own ride.

However, the closer I got to the parking lot, the more I knew I wouldn’t leave until I knew he was safe. I might be angry he hadn’t told me about his plans, but I would never leave him.

I scowled at the driver despite knowing it wasn’t his fault. He ignored me and opened the door. I slid into the car and instantly spotted Miller’s phone. Well, at least I knew he wasn’t ignoring me. Sliding down the window, I opted to try one more time to ask for help.

“Yes, Mr. Silver?”

“Did Mr. Fahn say where he would be?”

He blinked and turned to face me. “He was doing a meet and greet after for some of the youth from Rainbow Lounge.”

Shit. That’s right. He’d told me, but it went in one ear and disappeared like everything to do with the center.

“Right. I knew that. How long is he going to be? He left his phone.”

“Uh, I believe he said he’d get a ride home.”

“Of course.” And if I had to guess, Toby had quickly volunteered for the job. Fucking hell. “Do you happen to know where they were meeting? I don’t want him to be without his phone.”

“I believe it was in one of the family rooms.”

“Yes, good. Okay, I’ll be right back.”

I slid out of the car before he could open the door for me. I had Miller’s phone clutched in one hand and my ID tag in the other. My heart thudded loudly in my chest, and an urgency I wasn’t used to off the ice encouraged me to hurry.

The guard nodded at my arrival, and some teammates headed out as I re-entered the facility. I clumsily hurried down the hallway, peeking into rooms as I passed. When I came upon their room, my heart lurched to my throat. Toby was in there, but Miller paid him no attention despite the asshat’s preening.

His focus was on a teenager with a purple streak in his hair as he talked a mile a minute. Miller smiled and nodded like he didn’t mind at all that the kid was talking faster than was humanly possible to understand. When the kid took a breath, Miller easily slipped off a bracelet and slid it onto his arm.

“So you don’t feel so alone,” he said just as he spotted me hovering in the doorway. The room turned at his gaze, all eyes on me.

It’s just kids, I reminded myself.

“Hey, you forgot your phone.” I held up the device and stepped forward.

“You’re Lathan Silver,” the kid with the purple streak said with awe.

“Uh, yeah. You like hockey?”

“Do I like hockey?” he gasped. “It’s the only sport that matters. I play for a rec team but hope to make a junior league one day.”

“Ah, that’s cool. Um, do you have something you’d want me to sign?”

His eyes lit up, and he nodded like a bobblehead. He shoved a jersey in my hands, and I took the marker Miller handed me. The kid stared at me in silence as I uncapped it and signed my name next to Miller’s.

“Here you go.”

“Thanks,” he whispered, and Miller smiled fondly at the boy.

“I gotta go, Ace, but I’ll see you next week at the center.”

“‘Kay,” he said, but his eyes hadn’t left my signature.

Miller snorted and squeezed his shoulder before directing me out of the room. He waved to a few people, but no one stopped him, and we were soon headed out of the stadium.

“Thanks for doing that,” he said once we were inside the car. “Ace is a big fan and loves the game. You just made his year.”

“It’s no problem.” I cleared my throat. “Do you get to interact with a lot of the kids?”

“It depends on our schedule. I met Ace my first day there, and we connected. He’s kind of shy until you get to know him. Since we met, he’s been coming back more. He’s a foster kid and doesn’t feel safe being himself at home, but the center allows him the space. Tonight was his first NHL game.”

My throat was clogged with emotion. I understood what it was like to hide who you were all too well.

“I’m glad I could be a part of it.”

Miller glanced to make sure the divider was up before he leaned over and kissed my cheek. It wasn’t lingering or passionate, but it might have been the best kiss I’d ever received. Miller being proud of me was worth more than I’d realized.