Page 25

CHAPTER 25

MILLER

After our Utah game—which we’d won—Lathan and I had gone in different directions to visit our families for the holidays. The sappy, romantic part of me had hoped he’d invite me with him. He knew my family didn’t celebrate Christmas big, but I’d made plans to visit Washington when the invitation hadn’t come. We had four days between games, so it was a good time to see them. Plus, staying in the apartment without him would be too hard.

It was official. A foregone conclusion. I was completely in love with Lathan Silver. I was so screwed.

“Miller! Are you paying attention to me?” Ivy, my sister, shouted from across the kitchen counter. It was always so weird being back in my parents’ house. It was the same, but I wasn’t.

“What?” I shook my head and focused. She narrowed her gaze, and I felt the mom stare. “Oh, right. Yeah. You’re getting a new type of chicken and made a new scent of soap.”

“Hmm. Okay, you’re off the hook, but seriously, what’s going on with you? You’ve been spacey since you’ve arrived.”

I opened my mouth but closed it. I didn’t know how to talk to my family about Lathan. There was so much I couldn’t say.

“Ah, I see. It’s a guy.”

My cheeks heated. “What? No.” I shook my head, but my sister didn’t buy it. She was the closest to me, only a few years older, and had a wisdom about her that sometimes scared me.

“Mmhm.” She smiled and took a sip of her tea. “When I met Mark, I told him he wasn’t marrying material, but if he wanted to try proving me wrong by dating me, I’d give him the chance.”

I snorted. “Sounds like something you’d say.”

Ivy shrugged unapologetically. “I had big plans for myself. I was going to move out of Washington and be a fashion model.”

“A model?”

Ivy slapped me. “Hey! I’m not ugly.”

I laughed. “It’s not that. I just never took you to care about fashion.”

Ivy rolled her eyes. “I’d become obsessed with reruns of America’s Next Top Model and was convinced I was America’s next hidden gem.”

“But you met Mark and stayed?”

“Oh, I went.” She chuckled. “I even got signed by an agent.”

“No way! I can’t believe I don’t know this.”

“You were busy with hockey, and I didn’t want to tell anyone until I made it.”

“So, what happened after you were signed?”

Ivy leaned across the counter and held my gaze. “I realized all the things I’d left behind. I thought I wanted out of this town, but it turned out I didn’t hate this place as much as I believed. The big city was exciting, but it was lonely. I didn’t know every person, and no one helped out their neighbor. I missed trading soaps for pastries, growing our own food, and celebrating the small things just as big. This place is me, and I could run from it all I wanted, but I’d inevitably end up back here. Mark knew that, too. We were inevitable from the moment we met. Nothing would’ve kept us apart. It just took me longer to realize it. I fought it hard, but in the end, I knew he was my forever.”

I swallowed. “What’s that have to do with me?”

“You’re different from me, than all of us Fahn siblings. Jonah was meant to take over the orchard and farm. It’s who he is at his core. Same for Tomas. And I’m sure Lottie will commandeer Mama’s pie booth once she’s old enough. But you were always dreaming off in the distance, and once I saw you on the ice, I understood. You fly when you’re skating. Hockey is who you are, Miller. We all knew that.”

I swallowed, but my throat was thick with emotion. I’d always felt invisible amongst my siblings, but to know they saw me for who I was… was more than I’d anticipated.

“I don’t know what the story is between you and your guy… but I can offer you my perspective as someone who loves you dearly.” Ivy came around the counter, wrapped her arms around me, and rested her head on my shoulder. “I’ve always believed that when you find your person, it will be like Mark and me. Inevitable. You love big, and you’re all in. It’s who you are. So if you have big feelings for someone, give them the chance to catch up. It took me almost a year before I could admit I didn’t want to be admired by the world but just by one man. So don’t despair, little brother. Not all of us are as solid as you, but we get there. How could we not when someone as amazing as you is waiting on the other side?”

I sniffed and wiped my eyes. “Thanks, Ivy.”

“Anytime, Miller. I mean it. You can call me more, too. We might not be as hip as the rest of the world here in Pearfolk, but we do have phones.”

I laughed. “All right. I promise.” She kissed my cheek just as the door opened, and her two kids ran into the kitchen, clambering for her attention.

Finishing my glass of orange juice, I slid off my stool and padded into the living room. Lottie, the youngest of the Fahn siblings, was perched on the couch with a folding table in front of her. The new beads I’d gotten her were spread out, and she cut the string.

“Can I join you?” I asked.

“Miller! Yes. Come see,” she said and patted the space next to her. Feeling lighter, I joined her in bracelet making. I didn’t realize the words I was spelling until I was halfway through…

Gulping, I finished it off with shaky hands and a hope that Ivy was right. That Lathan and I would be inevitable. So, I would hold on to this bracelet until I could give it to the man it belonged to.

I love you.

* * *

It was late, and the house was quiet. A few hours ago, Jonah and Ivy’s families had returned to their own homes, and Tomas had left to spend time with his partner’s family. My parents and Lottie had retired to bed, but I couldn’t seem to fall asleep. My head was full of a blond, blue-eyed man I missed. I checked my phone, but I still hadn't received any messages. Not that Lathan was a massive texter, to begin with, but the total silence was hard to swallow.

Did he not miss me? Was I not as important to him as I’d believed?

Ugh. I hated these thoughts. I wasn’t this type of person. So what if he didn’t miss me? I missed him and could take the first step to reach out.

Picking up my tablet, I settled back against my bed and hit the call button before I could talk myself out of it. The trill of the ringing was loud in my room. Just before it was set to time out, the ringing cut out, and the screen came alive.

“Miller?” Lathan asked with a yawn. His room was pitch black, and he squinted at the camera. Oops.

“Hey. Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“No. It’s fine. Everything okay?” he asked. Lathan sat up, and I got a glimpse of his naked chest.

“Yeah. I was just bored and thought I’d see what you were up to. It’s dumb. I’ll go so you can go back to sleep.”

Lathan smiled. “It’s not dumb. And I wasn’t asleep. It seems I have a difficult time without someone octapussying themselves to me.”

I laughed and settled lower into my pillows. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m more of a koala than an octopus. If that’s anyone, it’s you, Silver.”

He grinned and shook his head. “How’s your family?”

“They’re good. Lottie loved her beads and forced me to make bracelets with her. Ivy bored me with chicken talk, and Jonah and Tomas spent most of their time trying to convince me to play rugby. Apparently, it’s the new sport around here, and they’re building a team.”

“Did you tell them you’re too pretty for rugby?”

“You think I’m pretty?” I asked with a smile.

“For rugby. It’s not the compliment you think, Mills.”

“You think I’m pretty,” I sang.

Lathan blushed and rolled his eyes. “I have not missed how impossible you are.”

“Too bad. I’ve missed you,” I said before I could stop myself.

His eyes lifted up, and we held contact. “I’ve missed you, too.” He blew out a breath. “I should’ve made you kidnap me away to Pearfolk.”

“Oh, yeah? You want to come and visit the folksy town I grew up in?”

“It can’t be too bad if you’re from there.”

My insides warmed. “Yeah, you’re right. It’s not too bad. It’s quirky and charming in its special way, and no one would know you or care that you’re a hot shot hockey player.”

“Sounds like bliss.” He chewed his lip before blurting, “Why didn’t you ask me to come with you?”

I gasped. “You wanted me to?”

“Yeah. I was hoping you would.” He lowered his eyes, and I stared at his blond eyelashes.

“Funny. I was hoping you’d invite me to join you.”

His eyes widened. “What? Why? You’d hate it here. It’s horrible.”

I shrugged. “Maybe. But at least I’d be with you.” It was quiet between us as we stared at one another. “Besides, I’ve never experienced a real Christmas before. It could’ve been fun.”

“I dunno. It’s overrated. I was in a tux all night, had to make small talk with a billion people, and pretend like I didn’t hate them all.”

“Ah, poor baby. That must’ve been miserable for you.”

“It was.” He smiled. “Though you would’ve made it better, but I like you too much to ever expose you to the likes of my mother.”

“She can’t be that bad.”

He huffed. “Take my word for it. Evangeline Silver looks like a sweet woman, but she’s a viper in designer clothing. Plus, I don’t trust her not to try to use you to some political advantage.”

“How? I’m not that interesting.”

“I disagree, Mills, but that’s beside the point. My mother finds a way to leverage everyone. It’s better if you stay far away from her.”

“Duly noted. Now, can we circle back to the fact that you admitted you like me? Lathan Silver likes Miller Fahn! And here I thought we were destined to be enemies forever.”

“Shut up.” He laughed, and the sound filled my whole body.

“It was the friendship bracelet that finally won you over, wasn’t it?”

“Nah. It was just you, Mills. Just you.”

How could I not fall in love with this guy? He was such a sweetie when he let himself open up to others. I was grateful to be in the minority that got to know him.

“You heading back tomorrow?” he asked, pulling me from my musings.

“Yeah. You?”

“Yes. Thank God. I can only handle my mother in short doses. It’s exhausting being the perfect son under her roof.”

“Have you tried just talking to her? Telling her how much her pressure stresses you out?”

“It wouldn’t matter. I’m a Silver. We rise above and push through. We don’t let anything, even our own humanity, bring us down. It’s not worth it. Nothing will ever change with her.”

“I’m sorry. That’s gotta be hard, and a heavy burden to carry.”

“Yeah. It is.” He cleared his throat. “How do you think we’ll do against Minnesota?” Ah… subject change.

“It’s gonna be a tough game, but it’s at home, so hopefully that gives us the advantage.”

Lathan hummed, and we talked a little more about hockey before I started yawning so big that you could see all of my molars.

“Sorry. I guess the sleepiness is catching up with me.”

“What if we didn’t hang up?” Lathan asked.

“Hmm?” I asked and snuggled down under the covers.

“It seems I can’t sleep without you snoring in my ear, so what if…” he trailed off, but I understood his meaning.

“Yeah, okay. Let me grab my charger.” I climbed out of bed, searched for my iPad charger, and turned off the lights.

“Wait, is this your childhood room?” Lathan asked.

“Yes. Why?”

“I want to see. Give me a tour.”

Laughing quietly, I turned the lights back on and gave him the nickel tour. I showed him my hockey posters. The collection of sticks I’d outgrown in the corner. The stack of pucks with tape, each representing a moment in my life. Then, lastly, I showed him my corkboard where I’d tacked pictures from college.

“Wait. Was that my college hockey card?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I hurried to turn off the lights and climbed into bed. Crapola. I’d forgotten all about that. I’d impulsively taken it from Landon’s desk one night.

Lathan squinted at me but thankfully let it go. I snuggled under the covers and propped the iPad up on the pillows. We stared at one another for a while until neither of us could keep our eyes open. And I slept better than I had since I’d left him.

When I woke up the next morning, the screen was black, but a message was waiting for me.

Lathan: I can’t wait to see you today. I’m going to spend all evening kissing, licking, and fucking you. Be ready.

Lust shot through my veins, and I packed my bag in a haste. I had a plane to catch.