Page 28

CHAPTER 28

LATHAN

My mother’s stare narrowed on me. Her blue eyes were calculating and full of curiosity, but surprisingly, they did not display the judgment I expected.

“It seems I walked into something.”

I snorted. “Why are you really here?”

She came closer and took my hand. Her touch was foreign and held no warmth like Miller’s did. It only made me miss him more. Fuck. Why had I let myself fall for him? I only had myself to blame for my current state.

“Lathan, I’m here for you. Or at least that was my intention.”

“Bullshit. You only do things that benefit you.”

She sighed and stepped back, giving me space. “I’m sorry.”

I jolted at the words. It was akin to touching a live wire. My mother had never apologized before. “What?”

“It seems I made a grave error somewhere along the way, one where my son believed he was less important to me than my career. For that, I’m sorry.”

Blinking at her words, I surveyed her from head to toe. She had the same blonde hair, smoothed back at the nape of her head in perfection. She had the same blue eyes lined with kohl and mascara. Her lips were a dark red that matched her expensive dress. Everything about Evangeline Silver was perfect, from the thousand-dollar blowout to the airbrushed makeup, but there was a new softness around her eyes and mouth.

“I don’t understand.”

“I see that now, and I’m sorry.”

“You keep saying that, but it doesn’t make sense. I…”

“Lathan, you are my son, and I love you more than words can describe. After the divorce, I was a shell of myself. It’s not an excuse, but I clung to the idea of proving my worth. If I could become mayor, then I would be worthy. If I could be governor, then we wouldn’t have to worry. If I had become senator, it would’ve all been worth it. I can see that my ambition and need to forget made me blind to how it affected you. I believed I was protecting you, giving you a legacy you could be proud of, but it seems I missed the mark.”

I laughed dryly. “You think? Mom, this isn’t really the place to discuss all this. There’s… a lot going on right now.”

She stepped closer. “That much is clear. I’m just afraid if we don’t talk now, I’ll lose you forever.”

“That’s…” I couldn’t bring myself to finish the sentence. Everything felt too out of control.

“I went about this all the wrong way. The gala. It felt like I was losing you, and I wanted to support your boyfriend while showing you I was receptive to however you identified. I never meant to make you feel like you couldn’t talk to me about this stuff.”

“He’s not my boyfriend.”

“Fine.” My mother rolled her eyes and I was certain I was hallucinating. “Your ‘teammate’, but we both know that fight I walked in on was more than a teammate squabble.” She stepped closer. “Is everything okay?”

“I don’t know. I feel so lost and confused.”

“How about we skip the gala, have James take us to a hole-in-the-wall diner, and talk like we used to over milkshakes?”

I swallowed. Could it be that simple? Could Evangeline Silver actually turn off her campaign soapbox for one night and be my mom? “What will the press say when you don’t show up? It could be bad for the polls.”

“I’ll tell them I ate some bad clams. I know I haven’t been great at showing it, but I want to change that. Starting now. If you’ll let me.”

Part of me wanted to ignore the offer, shove my mom away, and wallow in my lonely and dark apartment. But Miller had changed me. He might be gone from my life soon, but he’d made me softer around the edges, and I knew I could no longer hide from attachments. As scary as it was to trust people, it was worth it. Starting with my mom seemed like a good first step.

“Okay.”

My mom smiled and wrapped her arm through mine. We walked out the double doors toward the back entrance, where James stood waiting.

“Mrs. Silver, Mr. Silver,” he greeted.

“Hello, James, darling. Lathan and I need the best burgers and shakes around. Do you know of a place?”

James blinked but jumped into action. “Of course, ma’am.” He opened the door, and I slid in first, followed by my mother. She typed something on her phone before turning it off and sliding it back into a small purse.

It was quiet as we rode to the diner, both of us silently agreeing to wait until we were there to talk. The complete one-eighty of the night made me dizzy as if I’d just been smashed into the boards by a two-hundred-pound defender. At this point, I needed to simply ride it out and see where it took me. Nothing had gone as planned, so maybe a detour was what I needed.

The car came to a stop but it was a few minutes before our door was opened. It didn’t surprise me that the diner was empty except for the few staff loitering inside. My mother could pretend this was like when I was younger, but the logistics of a senator dining out required a lot more forethought. The man in a black suit and earpiece at the door said it all. Regardless, I’d take the private space and pretend like it hadn’t been cleared just so we could have a mother-and-son moment.

We took the farthest booth from the window, ensuring no one could snap a photo if they managed to make it past the bodyguard wall. I had to give credit to my mother where it was due; she was attempting to make this as normal as possible, given our occupations. The length she’d gone to in the amount of time given softened me, and I dropped the barrier I’d kept up. She wasn’t making this into a publicity stunt. I could give her the chance to be my mom without all my asshole snarkiness.

The waitress handed us menus, eyeing us like she wanted to ask questions, but ultimately decided whatever my mom was paying her to keep quiet wasn’t worth her curiosity. Once our orders were placed, we stared at one another for a few seconds, weighing where to start. Or at least I was.

“Tell me about Miller.”

My shoulders dropped, and I swallowed around the bile that wanted to climb up my throat. “I… he’s the best. He’s smart, funny, and kind. He knows how to cook and doesn’t put up with my attitude. He’s also messy, has never used an iron, and if I didn’t tell him where to be, he’d be late to almost everything.”

My mother smiled. “He sounds perfect for you.”

I snorted. “Yeah, well, like I said, we’re not together.”

“Is that because you don’t want to be, or something else?”

“Well, I don’t want the entire world to talk about my sex life, especially when I don’t even know how to classify myself. Not that it matters. He’s moving out.”

The reminder of those brochures I’d found earlier tonight sliced through my heart, and I hung my head. My eyes burned, and I pinched my leg to stop the tears from falling. I would not cry in front of my mom.

“You can love him without being gay. Maybe you’re asexual or demisexual? There are numerous ways to identify yourself, Lathan.”

My head snapped up. “Huh?”

She chuckled. “Hey, I’m hip! I’m on the gram. I’m a proud ally.”

“The gram? Who are you?” I shook my head. “I know that, but if I were to tell people, then they would have questions. I don’t want to talk about it. It’s none of their business.”

“And did Miller say you had to tell people?”

“No. But it’s not fair for him to live in the shadows.”

“Hmm. I think you’re so used to monitoring yourself for me that you’ve forgotten that not everyone is an asshole. Again, I’m sorry I never realized how much of a toll it took on you.”

“Who are you? I’ve never heard you say sorry this much.”

She laughed. “Another thing I should apologize for. Parents aren’t infallible, Lathan. I’ve failed you in all the ways that matter. I might’ve given you the best tools to succeed but I forgot what counts the most.”

“Perhaps, but it’s a moot point. He’s moving out, and our arrangement is over.”

“I think you should talk to him. The man I saw tonight didn’t look like someone who was over you. Please don’t make the mistakes I did and assume. Ask the questions and fight for what you want. You deserve to be with someone who loves you, and from what you’ve told me, I think Miller does. Don’t push him away because you’re scared, son.”

“But the press…”

“Despite what I’ve taught you, you can’t live your life for the press. Hiding who you are robs the world of the real you. It doesn’t mean they won’t try to ask questions, but you don’t have to answer them. I’ll do my best to shield the hate; eventually, they will move on. If anything, Miller can help you. He’s been out in the league his whole career; he’ll know how to navigate it. And if it’s a huge concern, then we can get a PR team on it, and I’m sure the Aces will back you. No one is forcing you to tell anyone; I just don’t want you to hide either.”

Her words gave me a modicum of hope, but the fear was still present. Was it that simple? Should I tell Miller how I felt and let the rest sort itself out?

Our food arrived shortly after. While we ate, I told her about the friendship bracelets Miller made, his work with the Rainbow Lounge, and how my own cat preferred him over me. My mother nodded and smiled the whole time I spoke, allowing me to talk. It was nice, and I’d forgotten how much I’d enjoyed our talks like this in the past.

“I know it might not be worth much, but if you’d like my opinion, I think I know a way you can show Miller how you feel.”

“But what if…”

She shook her head and smiled. “No what-ifs… nothing in life is guaranteed, sweetie. You know this. You can plan and try to control every aspect, but life has a way of, what’s the word… deking you out. Did I use it right? It’s been a while since I’ve used the lingo.”

I smiled at her attempt to connect with me. And she was right. Hadn’t Miller taught me that too? Sometimes, the best things in life are unpredicted. But the one thing I’d become certain of, with one touch, on and off the ice, he had become my person. He could try to move out, but I wanted a chance to fight for him first. I wouldn’t let him walk away.

“All right, what’s your idea?”

My mother smiled, leaned closer, and told me the most ridiculous idea ever. But it could work. It was worth a shot, at least. By the time our check was paid and James was driving me back to the apartment complex, I had everything I needed to win my man.

Because he was. Miller was mine. It was time I showed him he was more important than fear and hockey.

As I entered the apartment, it was quiet, and dread weighed me down as I lumbered to the room Miller used. The door was opened a crack. Without opening it, I knew what I would find behind it: emptiness—just like my heart before I met Miller, just like my life, just like me.

Still, I had to see. I had to know.

With a featherlight touch, I pushed open the door. The hinges were silent as they revealed the room’s contents—or lack thereof, to be more precise.

Every piece of clothing that had been strewn across his bed was now gone. The desk that contained the brochures for apartments was barren, not a scrap of paper in sight. There wasn’t even a piece of hockey gear left in the closet. Everything he’d brought with him had vanished like he’d never even been here.

Alaska threaded his lithe body between my legs, but not even the sudden appearance of my cat could change the hollowness seeping through my bones.

He’d left. Miller was gone, and I was once again alone.

Only this time, I wasn’t sure I would survive it.