Page 15

CHAPTER 15

MILLER

After that night with Lathan, I’d never been more glad to have three back-to-back road games. I needed space. Things had gotten too real, and I was struggling to remember this was only physical. This was precisely why I didn’t do casual hookups. I wasn’t great at drawing those lines. I couldn’t go backward now, so I’d have to live with the mess I’d made. Thankfully, he was adamant that nothing happened outside the apartment, so it gave my heart six glorious Lathan-free days.

The past two games had been brutal wins, and we were all tired. The only benefit to being on the road was not seeing Lathan everywhere I looked. Everything else about it sucked. I liked having my own space, so living out of a suitcase and in a hotel wasn’t my jam. It didn’t matter that the bed was king-size; it wasn’t my bed. Or Lathan’s, to be exact, but his bed was comfy. It was like sleeping on clouds and angel wings.

Tonight was our last road game against New Jersey, and I made plans with Reese for Friendsgiving. There wouldn’t be enough time to visit my parents in Washington before I was expected back in Austin for our home game. I was sad to miss my family, so getting to catch up with friends was more than I could have hoped for.

“You played with their right-winger, right?” Bell asked as he stepped up next to me.

“Yeah. Braden Riviera. He’s a good player and friend.”

Bell snorted. “He won Rookie of the Year. I’d say he’s better than good.”

“Fair.” I chuckled and finished tying up my laces. As it usually did, my gaze lifted to find Lathan across the locker room. He had his head back against his cubby with his headphones in. Even after living with him for a few months, I still didn’t know what he listened to.

Shoot. Had it already been a few months? Time always flew when the season was underway. Not that I’d spent much of my off time looking for a new place. The insurance money had come through at the beginning of November, but the desire to leave had waned. Who cared about finding a place to live when I had a naked Lathan to explore?

“How’s that going?” Bell asked.

“Huh?” I blinked and turned to him, fear crawling up my throat. There was no way he knew something was going on between us.

Bell cocked his brow. “You good? You went all white, dude.”

“Uh, yeah. What did you ask?”

“Oh, how’s it living with Silver? I don’t know how you do it. He seems the type to have the contents of the fridge alphabetized. Though I suppose he’s at least nice eye candy.”

Relief swept through me as his words registered, quickly followed by fierce protectiveness and possessiveness. “What? He’s… No… Don’t talk about him that way.”

Bell held up his hands. “My bad. I didn’t mean anything by it.”

I took a deep breath. “Sorry.” I cleared my throat. “Yeah, things are fine. He’s, um, different off the ice.” It was the most I could give him, and even that felt like too much. I liked knowing things about Lathan that no one else did, and I wanted to hoard his secrets for the precious gems they were.

“Cool.”

Coach walked in, stopping the conversation, and I’d never been more thankful. This was precisely why I needed some time apart from Lathan. I was too hung up on the guy, and if I weren’t careful, I’d ruin the friendships I’d made. I couldn’t afford to be on the outside of a team again. Austin was my chance to belong, and I needed to remember that.

The rustle of twenty hockey players moving roused me from my thoughts, and I stood to join the team as we took the ice. Braden skated over just as I finished my warmups.

“Get ready to lose, Fahn,” he teased.

“Are you looking in a mirror, Riviera? Last I checked, Austin only had four losses, and you’re not going to make number five.”

He chuckled and pulled me into a hug. “Good to see you, man. I’m glad you’ll be joining us after. It’s been too long.”

“Me, too.” I smiled as we pulled back. “Plus, Reese wouldn’t take no for an answer, so I really had no choice.”

“I have no doubt. Things seem to be going well with the new team. You and Lathan are fire on the ice.”

My face heated. “Yeah, we’ve meshed well.”

He snorted. “I’ve watched more films of you two than any other player this week.”

“Then you have no excuse,” I countered.

“Hey, Lathan,” Braden said over my shoulder. “Get ready to add a big fat L to your record. See you two on the ice.”

He skated off, and I turned to head to the box. Lathan frowned at me but didn’t say anything until we were almost to the bench.

“Get your head in the game, Bambi. This isn’t social hour.”

I rolled my eyes but didn’t respond. We both knew his comment was baloney. Hockey wasn’t something I slacked off on.

The game flew by, and despite the amount of film he’d watched, Braden couldn’t stop Lathan and me from scoring. New Jersey didn’t make it easy, though, and Braden matched us a goal for goal. The difference was that our team was good all around, while the Penguins really only had Braden after retirements, trades, and injuries had plagued them this season. In the end, the Aces won 5-3, giving us another W.

Braden skated over at the end of the game to slap my back. “Hell of a game, friend. I’ll meet you at the side entrance?”

“Thanks, and yeah, I’ll see you in a bit.”

Lathan had been selected for media, so he hadn’t returned to the locker room before I left. A pang of sadness at not saying goodbye filled me, but it was for the best. The more I kept my distance, the better my heart would be at the end of this.

There would be an end, that much I knew. I just couldn’t make myself walk away until I had to. I’d gone and caught feelings for the one person who could never return them. It wasn’t his fault but my own. There was no way I’d end this first, either. I wanted to soak up every second I could, while I could, so I had those memories to last me a lifetime.

Was it pathetic? Maybe. I was too far gone to care. Having boundaries wouldn’t be a bad thing, though.

“Have a good holiday, Fahn. See you back in Austin,” Bell shouted as I left.

“Same!”

A few of my other teammates echoed his goodbye as I exited the locker room. It was a stark contrast to my last team, and the knowledge I’d done it—found a team to belong to—lifted my spirits, and carried me the rest of the way out.

A stiff body slammed into me as I exited, causing me to drop my bag. “Mothertrucker.”

“Watch it,” Chet Doyle shouted.

“Yeah, because I’m the one who ran into you,” I muttered as I gathered my stuff.

“You say something?”

“Nope.” I stood and ignored him as I moved past. Okay, correction. I felt welcomed by the team, minus that guy.

“Homo,” he mumbled under his breath.

I paused and debated whether or not to say anything. In the end, I knew I couldn’t let it go, or he’d continue to believe it was okay.

“You should get a new word of the day calendar or a thesaurus.”

“Excuse me?”

“Homo isn’t very creative. If you’re going to throw slurs, you could be more creative. That’s all.”

His face turned red as he stared at me, and I worried I’d gone too far. Or maybe I’d used too big of words, and his head was about to explode.

“Are you calling me dumb? You can’t even cuss properly.”

Okay, score one for the brute. Maybe he wasn’t as dumb as he appeared, just homophobic.

“My choice not to use foul language has nothing to do with intelligence. You, on the other hand… I was hopeful your use of a slur was due to ignorance and not an actual choice. Seems I was wrong.”

He blinked, opening and closing his hands fisted at his sides. Tonight was not the night for education. I rubbed my brow and sighed.

“Call me that or anyone else on this team again, and I’ll report you to the Aces organization. Have a good night, Doyle.”

I spun and left before he could do anything. I didn’t need to add to my already cluttered mind. Braden was waiting for me when I appeared around the corner. He smiled and motioned for me to follow him to the player’s exit.

“Reese and the others are already back at the house,” he said as he opened his car.

“How is that going? Is it hard living in different places?”

“It’s better than the alternative. We have a main house in the middle and apartments in New York and Philly. We make sure to see each other as much as possible,” he explained.

Braden was in a polyamorous relationship with Reese, Cam, and Landon. Reese played for Philadelphia, and Landon and Cam played for New York. Trying to juggle three hockey schedules made my head hurt. I was happy they’d been able to make it work, though. They’d been together since junior year at Carrington, where we all went to college.

“And how’s Bri?” I asked.

Braden smiled at the mention of his twin sister. “She’s good. She’s keeping Jack on his toes and is about to finish her master’s degree. I hoped they could make it in, but it didn’t work out. We’re going to try to head to Seattle for Christmas, though. If you’re visiting your parents, you should stop by.”

“Cool. I’ll check the dates and let you know.”

The drive to their house wasn’t far, and we were walking in twenty minutes later. Reese jumped off the couch and ran for me, Cam following.

“Miller!” they shouted as they hugged me.

“Hey, Reese.” I smiled, and the tension I’d gained from Chet disappeared. This was what I needed—people who got me and felt like family.

“Cam,” I greeted once Reese let me go. My old teammate hugged me just as tight and slapped me on the back.

“Great game tonight. You and Lathan are something else together.”

I swallowed. “Yeah, we’ve connected,” I mumbled.

“Where’s Landon?” I asked, looking for my old roommate.

“He was grabbing a drink with Lathan before he left.”

“Ah, yeah, cool.”

Reese warmed up food for Braden and me, and we all chatted about the game and our time in college. It was easy conversation and camaraderie.

I yawned, the second one in five minutes, and Reese noticed. “Come on, I’ll show you to the guest room. We’ll be starting festivities early tomorrow,” they said and rubbed their hands together excitedly.

“I can’t wait. I remember senior year and how fun that was.”

“Oh, that was a good one,” Cam said. “Too bad Henley and the guys can’t make it this year.”

“How is your sister?” I asked.

“Pregnant as all get out, but good.” Reese laughed.

“This their second?”

“Yep. I can’t wait to meet my next nibblet.”

“Sounds fun. I love being an uncle.”

“How many siblings do you have?”

“Four.”

“Seriously? How did I not know this?” Cam asked.

“You never asked.” I shrugged, and he frowned.

“I’m sorry. Tomorrow, tell me all about them.”

“Deal.” We bumped knuckles, and Reese opened the door to the spare room.

“Here you go. Let us know if you need anything.”

“Will do.”

“Night, Miller.”

“Night.”

Cam and Reese waved and left me to settle in. I changed into boxers and brushed my teeth. My gaze kept dropping to my phone, and I debated sending Lathan a text. What would I say? Miss you? Nah. That was too couple-y and we were only a situationship.

I turned it over and plugged it in. I wanted space, so I needed to give myself space.

Climbing into bed, I turned off the light and willed my mind to stop long enough for me to get some rest. I’d finally fallen asleep when a bump sounded in the room, followed by a grunt that stirred me from slumber.

When a body landed on me, I jumped up and turned on the light. “Lath?” I croaked.

His ice-blue eyes landed on me and squinted. “Bambi? Did I dream you into existence?” he slurred. He caressed my cheek, and my eyes closed of their own volition. “I missed you.” He sighed and nuzzled my neck.

“What are you doing here?” I asked. He didn’t answer and snuggled into me more. “Silver?”

“Sleep, Bambi. If I dreamed you, I don’t want to waste it.”

Great. He was drunk and somehow ended up in my bed.

“You need to find another bed, Silver.”

“Nuh-uh. This one is the comfiest. Plus, you’re in it. I don’t want to be anywhere else.”

My heart surged at the words, but I couldn’t trust them. A second later, he snored, and I gave up the fight to get him into another room. I’d regret it in the morning, but he felt too nice right now to change it.

So much for space. Lathan Silver was going to wreck me, and I didn’t even want him to stop it.