Page 16

CHAPTER 16

LATHAN

I was having the most amazing dream and the best sleep I’d had in a week. Being on the road was never easy for me. I liked my routine and my bed. Though, usually I didn’t sleep this poorly on the road. I had a sneaking suspicion the change had more to do with who I hadn’t seen outside of the locker room than the actual bed. But I was spitballing.

Damn. I snuggled further into the heat of the comforter. I didn’t remember this bed being this comfortable. And it smelled amazing. At this rate, I might never get out. I hadn’t planned on staying over, but Landon had convinced me to have a beer and then another. As someone who doesn’t drink all that often, it only took three for him to persuade me to stay and spend the holiday with them. He’d brought me back after that, and I’d stumbled down to the guest room, where I proceeded to sleep and not toss and turn for hours.

Thank God. Otherwise, I was likely to succumb to the ludicrous ideas floating around my head yesterday—ones that included duct-taping Miller to my side so no one else could talk to him. Yeah, I could hear the red flag, and I was the one who’d thought it.

“I let you stay last night because I was too tired to carry your heavy butt to another room,” a deep and familiar voice said. My eyes instantly opened, and I stared at what I’d formerly assumed was my pillow and came face-to-face with the man I couldn’t stop thinking about. He smiled, and my heart raced. “But if I’d known you were such a cuddler when you drank, I would’ve suggested sharing a bed a long time ago.”

“No, you wouldn’t.”

He chuckled. “All right, you got me. I wouldn’t, but I don’t hate this side of you.”

My face heated. I couldn’t believe I was draped over him like he was my own personal heater. It was humiliating. Yet I didn’t move. After a week of not touching him, I was desperate. I’d never felt this urge before—the need to touch and feel, to be touched and felt in return.

“Not that I’m complaining, but we weren’t in the apartment last I checked. So…” he trailed off and lifted his brow like he was waiting for me to fill in the blank.

“I’m slightly hungover and haven’t had any coffee yet. You’re gonna need to spell it out, Bambi.”

One second, I stared down at him, and the next, I stared up. He’d wrapped his leg around mine and flipped us so my back was now against the bed. My breath puffed out of me, and I gripped his biceps. Miller ground down into me, and that was when I felt it.

He was hard, but so was I.

At the feel of his erection against mine, I moaned and closed my eyes. His hand gripped my chin, and my eyes snapped back open.

“This, Silver.” He rotated his hips, and I bit my lip to keep the moan contained this time. I still didn’t understand what he was referring to. The only thing I could concentrate on was how long it had been since we’d done this and how amazing it felt.

“What about it?” I asked, my voice way too breathless for my liking.

Miller dipped his head down to my neck and trailed his nose until he reached my ear. He nibbled on the lobe, and my fingers dug harder into his biceps. I was two seconds away from offering him whatever he wanted if he would just touch me.

“Your rule, Silver. No touching outside of the apartment, and considering we’re still in Philly, we’re very far from Austin. So, I hate to break it to you, but no more touching. You made the rule, and I’m a rule follower.” The cold air hit me as I processed his words, followed by the coldness of reality sinking in as I realized the truth of everything he’d just said.

We’d touched outside of the apartment. We’d shared a bed.

Two things I’d sworn we’d never do. To make matters worse, I’d been the one to break the rule. Me . I was being reckless. I knew it. But I couldn’t seem to remember why it mattered.

Miller made me feel good, and if the sleep I’d gotten last night was any indication, he was good for me. All my worries and fears about starting something with him were unfounded. He hadn’t distracted me on the ice. If anything, our closeness had made us better linemates. I could anticipate him, unlike any other player. Together, we were unstoppable.

That had to mean something. It had to.

Jumping out of bed, I didn’t stop to think about my next decision as I barged into the attached bathroom. Miller was in the shower, and the sight of his naked body under the spray momentarily halted me.

Seeing naked men wasn’t a new concept. I’d seen my fair share of them in hockey locker rooms. But no one had ever made me respond the way Miller did. The mere sight of him had my entire body coming alive. I didn’t even need coffee with him around.

These new urges had been overwhelming and scary at first. I’d tried to ignore them and run away when that hadn’t worked. It hadn’t mattered since it still led me into Miller’s arms. His very muscular arms.

Why was the sight of soap running down his body the sexiest thing I’d ever seen?

The urge to do something unstuck my feet and I stepped into the shower. I pressed my front into his back and wrapped my arms around him. He stiffened at my touch.

“I’m starting to wonder if your drink was spiked last night, Silver.”

“It wasn’t.”

“Did you hit your head during the game?”

“Nope. I’m of sound mind, Bambi.”

“Then—”

I gripped his dick, stopping him. “Unless the next words out of your mouth are ‘Stroke my dick,’ I don’t want to hear it.”

Miller groaned, his body relaxed, and he leaned back into me. “Stroke my dick, Lath.”

I didn’t hesitate as I stroked him from root to tip. Over the time we’d been doing this, I’d grown more confident about touching him. I’d become greedy for every sound and reaction. I didn’t know I could miss this, but after not touching him for a week, I did. I rubbed my cock between his ass cheeks, relishing the way it slotted between them. I couldn’t help but imagine what it might be like to fuck him. The mere thought almost had me nutting.

“Ahh, yes, Lath. So good.”

The praise was music to my ears. I roamed his body with my free hand, loving how his wet skin felt against me. Dropping my mouth to his neck, I sucked and bit as I plucked at his nipple.

“Oh goodness. I’m so close. I’m going to come, Lath.”

“Come for me, Bambi. Spray your cum all over the shower wall.”

“Nghn,” he groaned right as his body tensed up. His cock twitched, and I watched white ropes of cum spurt out of him in amazement. I’d done that. It was enough to send me over the edge without even touching myself.

We were both panting as we came down from our orgasms. Miller turned in my arms and took the soap to wash us both off. I’d balked at him taking care of me in the beginning. It seemed weak. After giving up so much control to him already, I hadn’t wanted to spare another crumb. Miller had a way about him, though. He took control without lording it over me. He made it so I could relax and trust him to take care of me. The most surprising part of it all was how much I liked him taking care of me.

I liked him . Period.

“Don’t worry. I won’t assume that just because you broke the rule in private means the rule is gone. I’ll pretend we barely know one another around the others,” Miller said as he brushed his teeth.

I froze, a pit of unease settling in my gut. Before I could respond, he was already dressed and out the door. I rummaged through my suitcase and pulled on a pair of jeans and a sweater. My phone was dead, so I plugged it in and left it. I didn’t want to talk to anyone who wasn’t in this house anyway.

Laughter floated down the hallway as I walked toward the kitchen. This wasn’t my first time staying here, but it was my first time feeling nervous. I loved my brother’s partners—Reese, Cam, and Braden. They’d become good friends over the years and people I didn’t have to pretend to be someone I wasn’t when I was around them.

Keeping this thing with Miller from them felt wrong. Not just because I didn’t like lying to my brother but also because I didn’t want to go backward. I had so few spaces where I could be myself that I didn’t want to lose one. Despite knowing all of this, I wasn’t sure if I was ready to reveal this piece of me. It had nothing to do with whether or not they would accept me. I knew they would.

It was whether or not I could accept myself.

Revealing my involvement with Miller would force me to label myself, and that meant being vulnerable. I’d finally accepted my attraction to him, but I didn’t know what that meant. Was I gay? I didn’t find other males attractive, so that label didn’t feel right either. Choosing something felt akin to placing myself in another invisible prison.

“Good morning!” Reese greeted me as I entered the kitchen. “Did you sleep okay?”

At their question, my eyes immediately drew to Miller. He was at the island, mixing something in a bowl with Cam. His back was to me, and my eyes traveled over his ass before I remembered Reese had asked a question.

“Oh, yes. I did. That bed is really comfy.”

Reese studied me. Their eyes darted from me to Miller, and something flashed behind their glasses. “I’m glad. There’s fresh coffee in the pot for you.”

“Thanks.”

Reese squeezed my arm as they passed and left me to grab a mug and fill it with coffee. I rested against the counter as I took in the room. Braden and Landon were working on the table. They had it pulled apart to add an extra leaf in the center to expand it. Reese was by the stove, and when the timer sounded, they pulled out a pan of biscuits. Cam left Miller and joined Reese at the stove, so I took the opportunity to move.

“What are you making?” I asked.

He glanced over at me, and I watched as his gaze dropped to my lips before returning to my eyes. “Pancakes, but they’re healthy-ish. I promise you can eat them on your diet plan.”

“Are you on my diet plan?” I whispered and moved closer. “Because I want to eat you.”

Miller coughed and spilled batter onto the counter, drawing everyone’s attention. His face turned red, and I smiled as I took a sip of my coffee. My brother eyed me, but I kept my expression blank. Okay, maybe it wouldn’t be too bad keeping our relationship—or situationship—a secret. If I got to tease Miller all day and got him to squirm, it might be worth hiding it.

“If you’re going to stand there, you should help,” Miller shot back. I rolled my eyes but did as he asked. Mostly because I didn’t want to lose my spot and have one of the others swoop in. I didn’t care that they were in a relationship. Miller was mine, and I didn’t want to share.

We fell into an easy rhythm that we’d perfected living together and on the ice. He poured the batter, and I added the toppings. He flipped the pancakes, and I added them to the serving tray. We moved in synchronicity without even having to talk. It was as easy as breathing.

I hadn’t noticed that everyone else had stopped what they were doing and was watching us until we were finished. Miller moved to take the pancakes to the table as I placed the dishes in the sink, but we both froze at the eyes on us.

“Something wrong?” I asked.

“You’re fucking,” Landon said, his eyes wide. “Miller’s who you’re seeing?”

“What? No,” I replied on instinct, the denial so ingrained that I hadn’t even thought before responding. But the feeling of unease I’d felt earlier multiplied at the lie, and when I looked at Miller, at how my words had affected him, it tripled. I hadn’t considered his feelings in all of this. Of what it might mean to him to hide what we did behind closed doors. He deserved better.

Landon crossed his arms and lifted a brow, not buying my lie for one second. “Uh-huh. First, you’re a shit liar, bro. Second, I went to wake you up this morning and your room was empty. Third, I’ve never seen you help make anything, and yet you jumped right in with Miller like it’s something you’ve done a million times. Should I go on because I can.”

I opened my mouth, then closed it. Words escaped me.

“Lathan accidentally came into my room drunkenly, and he’s too heavy to carry. That’s all. Nothing going on here. He’s not gay,” Miller defended.

I both loved and hated it.

“We all know that’s not the only label available,” Landon argued.

“Maybe we should let them keep their private lives to themselves,” Reese suggested.

“Fuck that, I’m so invested in SilverFahn,” Cam said. “Do we have any popcorn?”

“Cam!” Reese admonished but then giggled as he batted his eyelashes at them.

“Silence!” I shouted and rubbed my temple. “Thank you for the out, Miller, but I don’t need it.” I took a deep breath and met his gaze. His eyes softened, and I let myself soak in the soft blue hue mixed with green. “I don’t know what I label myself as, but I know it isn’t gay.” I took a deep breath and released it slowly while I continued to hold his stare. I could do this. “But it doesn’t matter what the label is. I do know this… I like what Miller and I are. Together.”

Noise exploded around us, but I blocked it all out as I gazed at the man I’d become obsessed with. The man I’d missed more than I’d realized this week.

I once believed telling others would ruin it or be too much for me to handle. It turned out that hiding it had been even more challenging. I was so tired of concealing myself, of not doing the things that made me feel good. Miller smiled, and it was as if a hundred pounds lifted off my shoulders at the gesture. Telling people wasn’t a prison. It was freedom.