Page 18

CHAPTER 18

LATHAN

The typical nervous energy that radiated through my body had dulled since I’d uttered my truth. In doing so, it had made me bold. Canceling his ticket wasn’t out of character for me. However, using the family jet was. Mainly because I knew it would get back to my mother and then there would be questions. Questions I’d been avoiding for a decade.

I could play them off and focus on Miller being my teammate and a friend of Landon’s. But a part of me didn’t want to. I was tired of hiding certain aspects of myself. Of portraying the perfect son. The son I’d never been.

Miller granted me freedom from all of it, and I wanted to hold on to this feeling with all of my might.

“Take off your clothes and get on the bed.”

I tensed at the command. Warm hands landed on my shoulder, and his body blanketed mine, sending calmness through my body.

“You wanted this, Silver. You bought us four hours to get your glorious backside prepared for me, and I don’t plan to waste a second of it. So don’t make me repeat myself.”

I relaxed into him, and my brain shut off. The intrusive thoughts about needing to be in control disappeared, replaced by a calm reassurance.

Miller would take care of me.

Miller would make me feel good.

Miller only asked me to be myself.

With my mind quieted, I tugged off my clothes and left them at the foot of the bed. The urge to fold them wasn’t a priority. Not when I had Miller staring at me as if I was the best thing he’d ever seen. His hazel eyes were dark and full of heat. They were trained on me as I scooted back onto the bed. I devoured every reaction he permitted me to see.

The flare of his nostrils.

The tightening of his fists at his sides.

The tented fabric at the front of his sweatpants.

The rise of his chest.

I could watch him for hours and never get bored. He didn’t even have to touch me. I’d never felt such consuming lust, this urgency and need to absorb every drop of him.

“Did you come prepared?”

“Huh?” I blinked at his question.

“Lube?”

“Oh. Yes.” I swallowed. It wasn’t the only thing I’d brought with me. “Front pocket of my suitcase.”

He unzipped my bag, and I gripped the comforter as I waited. Miller pulled out the bottle of lube and the two other items I’d hidden in the pocket. His eyes flashed with stunned appreciation at the sight of the prostate massager and plug I’d purchased.

“Someone has been keeping secrets.”

“More like I wanted to be prepared,” I countered.

He chuckled, the sound deep and throaty. “Have you been using these on yourself, Silver? Is this what you do when we’re on the road?” He dropped the supplies onto the bed and lifted his shirt over his head. My gaze slid over his form, and I gulped at the sight of him. No one had ever turned me on the way he did. He chuckled again when I didn’t answer and crawled onto the bed.

Looming over me, he gripped my chin and forced my eyes to his. “Answer me, Silver Spoon. Have you been playing with your hole without me?”

Vehemently, I shook my head. “No. No. I got them for you. For you to use them on me. If you wanted,” I stammered. I quit wondering how Mr. Nice Guy always seemed to turn me into a blubbering mess with just the touch of his fingers. If anyone saw me like this, they’d assume Miller had brainwashed or drugged me.

Neither was true, obviously. Even if I did feel discombobulated in his presence, I was a willing participant in everything he did to me.

“Hot fudge sundae,” he murmured, and his gaze snagged on my lips. I wanted him to kiss me. To let me feel the press of his lips against mine again.

He was so close; maybe this would be the time he gave in.

Unfortunately, he pulled away at the last second. Disappointment lingered in my mind but was quickly replaced with desire as he kissed my body. His tongue swirled around my nipples and sent a shot of lust straight to my balls.

“Fuck,” I moaned. Miller smirked at the praise. I loved catching his cocky side. He didn’t show it often despite earning it, but he never failed to make an appearance when we were naked together. It was rightfully earned.

“It’s time to teach you about erogenous zones, Silver.”

I hummed as he licked and sucked me. Everywhere he touched became fire until I was writhing on the bed and pleading for him to touch me. “Please, Mills.”

“I got you, baby,” he crooned as he finally took my aching cock into his hand. Bliss encircled me, and I thrust my hips up, searching for more. Miller grinned at my apparent neediness. I whined, shocked at the sound coming from me.

“This what you want?” he asked a second before swallowing my cock whole.

“Nghn.” Colors swirled together behind my eyelids, and my entire body tensed in preparation for its release. But it didn’t come. I opened my eyes and glared at the man between my legs. “You’re being an asshole.”

He laughed, his eyes alight with mischief. “Speaking of holes.” His finger breached me, wet and warm. It stung, and I tensed. “Deep breath and bear down. It will feel better once you let me in. I promise, Lath.”

God. He got me with that shortened name every time.

I relaxed my body and let out a long breath. Miller pressed further in, just past the knuckle, and once I got over the initial sting, it wasn’t as bad. His slick finger moved with expert precision, and I was soon wiggling back on his finger as he slid it in and out.

“Yes, more.”

“Look at you. Already a greedy cock slut, and you haven’t even had me in you yet. You’re going to be insatiable, Lath. I can already tell.” He groaned, and it made my balls tingle at the eroticism of his words.

Never in my life had I envision myself getting finger fucked in the family jet. But now that I was here, I wondered how I’d travel without it. The team plane would be interesting if I got a boner every time I stepped on board.

Miller withdrew his finger, and I immediately missed the feel of him. I watched as he squirted more lube and positioned himself at my entrance. It was tighter, but I knew what to do this time. I blew out a breath and bore down until I felt the pop of his knuckle passing through. Two fingers were thicker and stretched me wider as he pumped in and out. I had a momentarily thought of panic as I wondered how I’d ever take him if this was too much.

“I got you, Lath,” he whispered.

My eyes opened and locked with his reassuring gaze. His pupils were blown, nearly blocking out the blue and green of his eyes. Eyes that were fixed entirely on me. Miller was so expressive, conveying a multitude of messages in a single look.

They said, are you okay?

They said, we can stop if you want to.

They said, trust me.

His care and concern were my undoing. My body melted into a puddle, and I nodded back in affirmation.

I do trust you. I do.

His fingers picked up their pace, and he tilted them upward. My entire body came alive, and my dick twitched like a live wire had struck it. He did it again, wearing his smirk, and I almost passed out.

“What?” I gasped.

“Meet your prostate.”

I moaned as he continued to swipe against it with each thrust. I pushed back against him, and the need for more came quicker. Luckily, I didn’t have to ask this time. Miller added a third finger, stretching me even wider. He lazily stroked my dick, keeping me on the brink of an orgasm but never letting me get there.

At this point, I was close to begging him to just fuck me now and be done with it. Rational thinking had gone out the window, and I wanted to feel him inside me. I wanted it more than I wanted anything else. I needed to feel connected to Miller in a way I’d never experienced with anyone else.

“Please,” I begged despite knowing it was futile.

Miller continued his ministrations, stretching and stroking me like he had all the time in the world or at least a few hours. I suddenly hated myself and my grand idea to spend the entire time prepping. Screw prepping. Who needed that? Not me. I just wanted to fuck.

“Mills. I need more. I need you.”

“Not yet,” he countered, and I whined. I’d feel embarrassed at the sound later, but right now, I was too far gone to care. A buzzing sounded right before he withdrew his fingers.

“What?” I protested but was immediately silenced when the vibration entered me. “Oh, God.”

The item felt different than his fingers. It wasn’t as personable, but as soon as it hit my prostate, I didn’t care. My entire body locked up, and stars danced behind my eyelids. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck .”

Miller didn’t respond except to take my dick to the back of his throat. He swallowed around me just as the massager hit my prostate, and I was done for. Cum spurted out of my cock at a rapid speed. My muscles tensed and trembled as I came down his throat. Pleasure covered my body, and I curled my toes into the bed.

He licked my dick clean before letting it fall from his mouth. The vibration was turned off and removed, but a cold bulbous object was inserted in its place.

“Huh?” I mumbled.

“Just keeping you nice and open.”

“Okay.”

I didn’t really know what I was saying, but I trusted him to take care of me. Miller had done nothing but stick to his word the entire time I’d known him.

It took me a while to come down from the high. When I did, I noticed the arms around me and a body pressed into my back. We were spooning. His fingers trailed over my muscles in a soft caress, and my dick twitched in an attempt to rally, but eventually, it called defeat and settled down against my leg.

“How does it feel?” he asked.

I wiggled, the cool press of the butt plug was noticeable, but it wasn’t unpleasant. “Okay. It’s different but not bad.”

“You look so sexy right now with it in. I have to keep reminding myself to wait.”

“We don’t have to,” I argued.

“Yes, we do. As hot as the idea of having you sooner than later, you need more stretching. I won’t hurt you, Lath.”

The words were simple and said with such honesty that I wanted to believe him. Not only would he not hurt me physically, but emotionally, too.

“Okay. We’ll stick to the plan.” I cleared my throat and rolled over so we could face each other. Miller was naked except for a pair of black boxers.

“Did you take care of yourself?” I asked, disappointed I wouldn’t get to touch him.

“No. I came from watching you.”

“Really?”

“Really.” His hands trailed over my arm until he got to the bracelet I wore every chance I could. “The sight of this does dangerous things to me,” he whispered.

I swallowed. I wanted to know more, but the fluttering in my chest told me I wasn’t ready. “Why do you make them?” I asked instead.

“My sister, Lottie. She’s autistic, and sometimes it’s hard for her to express herself. One of her therapists suggested making bracelets as a way to work on her fine motor skills and give her an outlet. She loved it, and I loved how it gave us a way to talk. I started making them for my teammates and friends and liked how it made me feel. Not only to create something but to show people you care about them in a safer way. It started because of her, but I continued because of me.”

His words pierced my soul, and I felt like an ass for dismissing them at first. “Wow. That’s really beautiful.” I searched his gaze and found only acceptance. He didn’t hate me for denying him. “Tell me more about your family.”

He smiled and dove in without question. I envied his ability to trust explicitly. “I’m one of five kids.”

“Seriously?”

“Yup. I’m in the middle. I have an older brother and sister, and a younger brother and sister. The younger two are still at home, though Tomas will be graduating college this year and I see him moving in with his partner soon. Jonah and Ivy are married and live in Pearfolk, where we grew up. I’m the first one to ever leave and not come back.”

“Was it hard to do that?”

“Not really. I don’t know if it’s because I’m in the middle or the only one who liked hockey, but my family didn’t get me. Jonah followed our dad’s footsteps and works the apple orchard and farm. My mom is a teacher, and Ivy works in a café, part-time. Her true passion is running her small business. She makes goat soap and other oddities. My mom runs a pie booth, and people come from all over for them. Pearfolk is small, and it wasn’t until college that I discovered how different it was from the rest of the world.”

“How so?”

“It’s hard to explain but it’s almost like there’s a town understanding to keep things the way they are. For example, the first time I used the internet was when I applied to Carrington, and that was after a scout approached me at a game and told me to apply. I had to go a town over to do it because no one in our town had it, and the library only had a dial-up, and after thirty minutes of using it, I’d given up. Everyone knows everyone, and they all help each other out, but it also means everyone is always in your business. It wasn’t until college that I realized how sheltered my life had been. It’s why I hadn’t considered I was gay until—” He stopped himself, and his face flamed red.

“Until what?”

“It’s nothing. But yeah, going home is often like stepping through a time portal. Social media is nonexistent, everyone still has a landline, you barter for most things, and no one cares that I’m a professional hockey player, or gay.”

His experience was so different from my own. I’d been in the limelight for so long that I didn’t know how not to be constantly on and aware of how everything I did would come across to my mother’s voters. Not having to worry about it sounded too good to be true.

But it also gave me insight into Miller and why he was the way he was. He was as good as he presented because he’d never needed to hide who he was. His town might have been behind the times, but they’d been accepting. He was wholesome, and his sunshine outlook wasn’t an act. It was real.

“Is that why you don’t cuss?” I asked, needing to distract myself.

“Sorta. It wasn’t common. I didn’t even know what a cuss word was until I was fifteen. I repeated something I overheard at a hockey game and never repeated it after how my momma reacted.” He laughed. “Goat soap is not meant to be tasty.”

I chuckled with him. God. I was becoming more and more enamored with this man each second I spent with him. We lay there, staring at one another, and words were not needed as we basked in the afterglow. His eyes twinkled, and I loved how open they were. I’d happily drown in him if it was sustainable.

“What about your family? I know a little about your dad because of Landon, but what about your mom?”

My throat went dry at the innocent question. I didn’t talk about my mom. Mostly because people knew her, or at least the image of herself she portrayed. But knowing Miller’s history, I’d wager he had no idea who she was. That knowledge was freeing. He wasn’t looking for a soundbite or a juicy secret. He just wanted to know me.

Had anyone outside of my brother and his partners taken the time or effort to do that? No. Miller was one of a kind.

That trust I had in him to take care of my body slowly expanded to my heart. I had two choices here—wall off like I usually did or let someone in.

I free-fell into his eyes and took a chance.