Page 2

CHAPTER 2

LATHAN

The day I’d been waiting for had finally arrived—the start of hockey. Life would make sense again for the next six months, hopefully longer. The summer had been hell without hockey. My mother had filled every spare moment with her agenda.

This wasn’t new. I’d been playing my mother’s puppet my whole life. As a Silver, there were certain obligations and expectations required of me. Except lately, they seemed to strip me of everything that was me.

I’d gotten so used to playing the son my mother wanted that I’d lost sight of the man I was. I no longer knew if there was a difference. But hockey was back, and the strings my mother controlled would slacken. Hockey was the only place I got to be me.

“Good morning, Mr. Silver,” James, my driver, said in greeting.

I nodded hello and slid into the backseat. He’d worked for the family for several years and was used to the fact that I didn’t like talking to people. He was discreet and, as far as I could tell, didn’t report back to my mother like so many of the other people she employed. That alone was the only reason I allowed him to be my driver. I hated having one, but it was the one concession my mother wouldn’t back down on, and I knew how to pick my battles.

Classical music filled the car as he pulled away from my apartment building. I downed the rest of my protein shake before shutting off my phone. I had a set routine, and I did not deviate. Once I put my phone away, I closed my eyes and rested my head back for my meditation. The drive was fifteen minutes, allowing me time to clear my mind and focus on the only thing that mattered—hockey.

My stepbrother called me rigid, but this routine had served me well over the years. Last season had been the best one of my career, and I’d been made alternate captain for the upcoming season. That meant something to me, and I wanted this season to be the best. Our team had the talent to win the Stanley Cup, but if the antics some of my teammates had pulled during the offseason continued, we’d flop. I couldn’t have that, so I would lead by example.

Not many people understood my commitment to the sport, but hockey was the only thing that mattered. Everything else was noise. I didn’t have relationships of any kind. They were a distraction I didn’t need. My focus was solely on hockey and being the best.

Just as I finished my meditation, the car slowed to a stop outside the practice arena. Adrenaline pumped in my veins, and I wanted to do nothing more than jump out of the car and scream at the top of my lungs that hockey was back. Instead, I calmly opened the door and stepped out with my bag over my shoulder. I still had an image to portray.

“See you in a few hours,” James said. I shut the door in answer and strolled toward the back door. I nodded at the guard and flashed my ID card.

“Gonna be an exciting season,” he said.

I grunted but didn’t elaborate. Bragging and gossiping wouldn’t win us games. Instead, I focused on the players returning and our first preseason games. We should beat them easily, but I wasn’t one to count my chickens before they hatched.

Several of the Ace’s staff greeted me as I entered the arena. I nodded in return and kept my focus on practice. The locker room was empty, which wasn’t surprising since I was early. I liked to get here before everyone else, so I had time to go through this part of my routine, undisturbed. I also needed to meet with our captain, Jack—or Viggy, as the team called him—and Coach Mack.

I wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but I was nervous about being alternate captain. Hockey was the only thing I cared about. The only thing that was mine. I couldn’t mess it up. Without it…

I couldn’t even fathom that thought. I’d be nothing.

Stuffing my bag into my locker, I headed to the weight room and started my rotations. A few teammates littered in halfway through. They nodded but didn’t interrupt me. I wasn’t chatty or chummy with them. I came to play. Not make friends. This wasn’t a play date. It was our job.

Thankfully, they respected me as a player and accepted my boundaries. Otherwise, I doubted I'd be the alternate captain. Besides, it wasn’t that I didn’t want to be friends with them; it just wasn’t possible. It wasn’t how my life worked anymore.

After my mother divorced my father, her political career began. First, she was mayor, then governor, and now she was a senator. With each position, the rules and expectations increased. The little freedom I had in college was wiped away the moment she became a senator.

Every interaction I had was scripted, and every person in my life was screened. The only safe place was hockey, and even that was becoming less and less. The only way to keep her out of it too was to ensure everything I did was flawless—no scandals, no fights, no gossip.

I’d learned early it was easier to insulate myself. If I didn’t interact with anyone off the ice, I didn’t have to worry about anything being used against me or my mom.

I had no need for relationships, anyway, so it wasn’t a hardship. People complicated things. It was simply easier this way.

By the time I finished, the room was full of loud hockey players. I wiped the sweat off my brow and chugged my water as I surveyed the room. Most of my teammates appeared to be in good shape, but a few had slacked off in the offseason. Taking a mental note, I’d be sure to mention it to Jack later.

Samson Murray, a defenseman and the team dad, caught up to me as I stepped out of the room.

“Hey, Silver. How was your summer?”

“Fine.”

He smiled, not deterred by my clipped answers. For this reason alone, he was the one guy on the team I tolerated talking to me.

“What do you think of the new guys?”

His statement stopped me in my tracks. “New guys?”

“Yeah, there’s the rookie forward, a goalie, and some wingers.”

A gong sounded in my ears, muting everything else as his words took root. How had I missed this? I was the alternate captain, for fuck’s sake! Yet, on day one, I was already screwing up. Shit. I was going to lose the one thing I had going for me. If I didn’t show my mother I was dedicated, she’d demand I quit. I knew she would. This was a campaign year, and she wanted me to be on the road with her. I’d spent all summer smiling, waving, and pretending to be the son she wanted.

But I wasn’t him. I couldn’t be perfect all the time.

My breaths sawed in and out, and I watched as Samson realized something was wrong. His hand gripped my shoulder, grounding me and stopping the spiraling. Sound returned, but it was slowed down and underwater.

“Lathan, you okay?”

Blinking rapidly, I curled my fingers tightly into fists until the bite of pain broke the chokehold anxiety had on me.

“Yeah. Sorry. I didn’t hydrate enough. I better grab a sports drink.”

“You sure, man?” Samson’s brow dipped, and I hated that look of concern.

I was the rock of the team. I was solid. I didn’t need his pity.

“Yep. Later.” I broke his grip and spun around in the opposite direction. I didn’t know where I was walking other than away from him. Turning a corner, I collided with a body and took us both to the floor. Lightning raced up my spine as I tried to capture my breath.

I hadn’t felt that since… I shut that down. I didn’t think about that .

“What the fuck?” I growled and shoved the guy off me. “Watch where you’re going, asshole.” I knew I was being unreasonable. I’d run into him, but the panic had turned to anger, and it was easier to focus on.

“Me? You ran into me! Mothertrucker, that hurt.”

Mothertrucker ? Who the hell was this guy? “If you can’t cuss, you can’t be a hockey player.” Standing, I flexed all of my muscles and rotated my wrists and arms to ensure nothing was out of sorts.

“Didn’t realize that was a requirement. Considering I just signed my contract, I can guarantee it stated nowhere that I had to cuss.”

My head snapped up, and my gaze slammed into hazel orbs that burned into me. Chocolate brown curls spilled over his forehead, and despite it being four years since I’d last seen him, there was no mistake about who this was—Miller Fahn.

My heart raced for an entirely different reason this time. For a moment, I just stared, lost in his hazel eyes, until his words hit me dead center.

“Contract?” I croaked.

He nodded, his smile wobbly. “Yeah.” He licked his lips, and my gaze zeroed in on them before remembering where I was. “Traded. I got here today.”

No. No. No. This could not be happening. This was the worst possible news.

“Traded. So you’ll be playing…” I couldn’t finish the sentence mostly because it was redundant. Obviously, he would be playing for the Aces. There wasn’t another team in this city. But I couldn’t wrap my brain around it. Miller Fahn was now my teammate.

My. Teammate. Fuck.

“You’re a left-winger,” I mumbled, and he nodded.

“Yep.”

Silence fell around us, and for once, it was not comforting. Every part of my being vibrated, and I didn’t like it. This guy was too sunshiney and hopeful for my liking. He made me feel things I didn’t want to feel.

“Um, your brother—” he started, but I cut him off. I could not be friends with him. It was too dangerous for too many reasons that I didn’t want to consider.

“Listen, Bambi . We are not friends. I don’t care that you were Landon’s roommate; you’re nothing to me. The quicker you learn that, the better off we’ll be. This is my team, and I plan to win. Get in line, do your job, and we won’t have any problems. Now, stay out of my way, or you won’t like what happens next time.”

It was an empty threat, but I hoped he didn’t know that. I shoved his shoulder as I headed in the direction I’d initially been going before I panicked and fled from Samson.

My hands shook, and I hated how screwed up my first day back had become. This was hockey. This was my safe place. I wasn’t supposed to be bombarded with feelings or things I couldn’t control.

Shoving my earbuds into my ears, I marched to the locker room and took a seat in front of my cubby. I kept my back to everyone and focused on calming my breaths and listening to the voice to calm my thoughts.

I am powerful. I am a force. I am in control of me.

My mind is a safe place. Calmness is my strength.

I repeated the mantra over and over until I felt my body relax, my heart rate slow, and my breaths even out. With measured breaths, I dressed for practice and ignored everyone around me as I met with Jack and Coach.

I nodded at the appropriate times but offered nothing other than my acquiescence. All of my plans had flown out the window when he arrived. I’d have to try again tomorrow after I shored up my mental walls and prepared. As long as I stayed away from him, I’d be fine. I could get through this and come back stronger tomorrow.

“Oh, I’d like you to take the new winger and show him the ropes.”

My throat went dry. “Are you sure that’s the best idea?”

Coach Mack stopped and glanced at me. I’d never questioned him before. Even Jack had halted and watched me with a curious look. But I couldn’t focus on him right now. I just had to convince Coach it was a horrible idea.

“It’s just that I think Han or Cavanagh would be a better fit.”

“They’re great players, but you’re the alternate captain, Silver. Unless we made a mistake putting you in the position?” he asked.

Swallowing, I shook my head. “No, sir. I’ll take care of it.”

“Good. I expect great things from him. Make it happen.”

With that, the two of them exited the room, and I was left with a sinking feeling that everything I’d worked for was about to crumble. The house of cards I’d built was carefully crafted, and this could be the breeze that crashed it to the ground.

Fuck that. I wasn’t going to let some guy ruin everything I’d worked for. He had to earn it if he wanted to be part of the team. He thought because he knew my brother, we were friends, but he’d learn real quick he was enemy number one.

Time to buck up, Bambi.