Page 5

5

ASA

The sound of the front door closing caught my attention. I paused what I was doing and glanced at the doorway to the den.

I’d spent the last few hours moving my meager possessions into the apartment and trying to make the den work as a bedroom.

The space was small, which wasn’t a big deal since I was used to living in a single room, but it also didn’t have anything in it that I could use. No closet, shelves, or furniture other than the camping mattress that was barely bigger than a single bed and had taken way too long to fill up, even with the electric pump.

It wasn’t ideal, but it was infinitely better than sleeping in my car. I could deal with it for a few weeks while I looked for something else.

The only part of the arrangement I wasn’t sure I’d survive was living with Dex again.

We had our own bedrooms back when we’d first been forced to live with each other, but that changed when Mom found out she was pregnant with Tanner, and they moved me into Dex’s room.

We spent a full year as roommates, and the only reason we hadn’t killed each other was because he was always busy and was never home except to sleep.

Now we had to live together again, not in the same room, thank fuck, but the apartment was small enough there was no way to avoid him when he was home. The living room was next to the den, and his bedroom was almost directly across from it. My only space in the apartment didn’t even have a door, so there was no way for me to escape or hide from him if we were both home.

“Asa?” Dex called from the other side of the apartment. “Are you here?”

“In my…the den,” I called back.

“Are you decent?”

“Yeah.”

He sauntered up to the door. “Where’s your stuff?” he asked, looking around the small room. “Did you find a place to store it?”

It was criminal how good he looked, and I cursed as my body tightened and a little flutter moved through my stomach.

Dex was one of those guys who was effortlessly gorgeous. It didn’t matter if he was in formal wear, jeans, or ratty gym clothes. He always looked like he’d just left a photo shoot.

His golden-brown hair was a mess of curls that fell in perfect spirals and waves around his head and was currently held back with a backward ball cap that had been his signature look since I’d known him. His hazel eyes flipped between green and brown depending on his mood, and his skin was flawless and had a natural tan to it that I’d always been envious of.

His features were classically handsome with high cheekbones, a sharp jaw I’d also envied since we were teens, and full lips that somehow looked rugged and masculine on him.

Beyond his perfect face and annoyingly nice hair, he was also built like an action hero. I knew he put a lot of work into maintaining his physique while playing football, and it was part of his job now that he worked at a gym, but it was annoying as fuck that he could pack on so much muscle when I couldn’t manage to gain more than a few pounds no matter what I ate or how active I was.

He might only be a year older than me, but I felt like an underdeveloped kid next to him, and I hated that I cared.

Dex was the only person on earth who’d ever made me feel bad about how I looked. I’d realized pretty early on that I’d never be a heartthrob or even be considered attractive by most people. I was too delicate, too skinny, and between my pale skin and hair, I looked like a washed-out mess when I didn’t wear makeup.

My choice of clothes and accessories further pushed me out of the “he’s hot” category, and my piercings and tattoos just sealed the deal that I was a freak. Luka had called me a goth angel a few times, and that pretty much summed up my aesthetic.

I usually didn’t give a fuck what people thought of me and had decided long ago that I’d rather be myself than fit in. But after spending the last eight years being compared to my perfect stepbrother, who was everything I wasn’t, I had moments where I felt like a frumpy mess around him.

Tonight was one of those times, and I had to tear my eyes from his chest and the way his t-shirt pulled tight over his impressive pecs and showed off those damn arms that were as thick as one of my thighs.

“This is it.” I waved to the small stack of my possessions. “Well, most of it. One of my coworkers is keeping my books for me. But this is everything else.”

He looked puzzled for a moment. “This is all you own?”

I nodded.

“Any trouble bringing it in?”

“No. It only took me a few trips. I don’t think anyone noticed.”

“That’s good.” He pulled his ball cap off and ran a hand through his hair, smoothing back the curls that fell over his forehead. “Is the bed okay?”

“It’s good.”

The mattress was small, but it was more comfortable than the floor, so I wasn’t about to complain.

“Okay.” He blew out a breath. “I’m going to take a shower. Do you need the bathroom?”

“I’m good.”

He nodded and slipped his ball cap back on. We stared at each other for a few beats, the silence stretching awkwardly.

Without another word, Dex left my doorway and headed into the bathroom. A moment later, the overhead fan came on, then the water.

His place wasn’t very soundproof. I’d have to remember that when he was home.

Not sure what to do with myself, I sat on the mattress with my back against the wall and tried not to think about how Dex was getting naked across the hall.

I still couldn’t believe he’d agreed to let me stay with him. I’d gone back and forth for weeks on whether I should ask and had waited until the eleventh hour, hoping I’d find an alternative.

He didn’t have to help me out. In fact, I’d been convinced he’d say no, but he hadn’t. I was grateful to him, but I still didn’t like him.

Dex was everything that I wasn’t, and the bastard didn’t even have to try. He’d been an All-American quarterback, graduated high school on the Dean’s List, and gotten a full-ride scholarship to Notre Dame.

If that wasn’t enough, he’d gotten his double major and was starting a doctoral program in the fall. He was also polite and personable and a master at networking and making small talk with strangers. People liked him, and they were drawn to him.

Of course, he’d been one of the most popular guys at our high school and every teacher’s pet. I spent four years being compared to him and four years being reminded that I’d never measure up.

The guy wasn’t even my real brother. He’d been a complete stranger until our parents announced their affair and Mom’s pregnancy when I was fourteen, but everyone acted like we were bio siblings and were shocked that we weren’t carbon copies of each other.

Whatever. High school was a long time ago, and other than living in the same city and sharing siblings, we were nobody to each other.

Dex would always be Dex, and I’d always be me. Most days I was fine with that, but I’d been feeling off since I’d seen him at Ruby’s party.

He’d looked incredible, of course, and he handled everyone’s praise and attention like the prodigal son he was. I’d spent almost two hours driving around picking things up for the party, only to be berated for not having the foresight to pick up tape. Dex showed up half an hour early, and they practically rolled out the red carpet for him and acted like he’d saved the day.

And it was petty, but seeing our siblings react with such jubilation to him hurt. I was the brother who’d stayed home. I was the one who’d been around for the past five years, reading them stories and patching up their scraped knees. Who took them on outings and to the park and watched movies with them, but Dex was the one they adored.

The whoosh of water in the pipes stopped, and a few minutes later, the overhead fan turned off.

Grabbing my phone, I checked the time. It was still early, but I was exhausted. I had to get up for work in the morning, and I knew that even with how tired I was, I wasn’t going to sleep well.

I didn’t like sleeping with my door open. Never had. And it always took me a few days to get used to a new environment. If I’d had friends when I was younger, I would have been the worst sleepover buddy because I would have spent the night tossing and turning and been a zombie the next day.

I should try to go to bed or at least lie down and listen to music so I could unwind. And the music should help drown out whatever noise Dex made before he went to bed.

The bathroom door opened, and I glanced up just as Dex darted into his room with only a towel wrapped around his waist, his miles of golden skin and sculpted muscles on full display.

Awesome. Now I’d not only hear every time he came in or out of his room, but I would see it too. And if I could see him, then he could see me.

Huffing out a sigh, I yanked off my hoodie, then grabbed my earbuds and lay on the mattress.

Music should help, and if it didn’t, the noise-canceling earbuds definitely would.