Page 23

23

ASA

I nodded, not trusting my voice not to crack or do something equally embarrassing.

“And just to be fully transparent, I got tested after we did that first cam show together.”

“You did?”

He nodded. “I wanted to make sure you were safe, even if we were using protection.”

“I haven’t been tested in years.” My cheeks flushed hot. “Not since the first time we…”

It hadn’t occurred to me to get tested since I hadn’t had sex with anyone other than him. Was that the wrong call?

He gave me a slow, sweet kiss. “I figured. We can wait if you want, but I trust you.”

“You really want me to blow my load in five seconds, don’t you?” I shot him a flat look, but the effect was ruined when the corners of my lips tugged up in a smile.

“You figured out my master plan.” He pushed up on his hands and knees and held himself over me. “Now take those pants off so you can fuck me.”

“Not helping,” I grumbled, pushing my sweats down so I could shimmy out of them.

When I kicked them off, he lay back over me and brushed his lips against mine, then dropped a line of kisses down the column of my neck.

I lay there, my head spinning with good feels as he made his way down my body. He paused when he reached my dick, then pressed a teasing kiss against my tip. “Lift your hips so I can get my mouth on you.”

Groaning, I did as he said. When my briefs were off, he wasted no time swallowing me down, taking almost all of me on the first pass.

“Oh fuck,” I whispered, tangling my hands in his hair and holding on for dear life as he worked me over with his mouth.

Dex was damn good at giving head, and before I knew it, I could feel the telltale signs of my orgasm gathering like a storm.

“Too much,” I whispered, gently tugging on his hair.

He pulled off me and immediately moved up my body to give me a deep kiss.

“On your back,” I murmured when he pulled away. “My turn.”

With one of his trademark smirk-smiles that was going to be the death of me, he shifted off me and lay on his back.

Far too eagerly, I rolled on top of him and kissed him just as hard and deep as he’d kissed me.

He moaned against my mouth and held my hips, locking me in place as he kissed me back, his need rivaling mine until we had to pull back to breathe.

“Lube?” I asked.

He motioned to his bedside table.

On shaking legs, I climbed off him and crawled over to pull open the drawer. I grabbed the larger bottle in there, the one with the pump, and paused when my fingers brushed a condom.

“Asa?” he asked, noticing my hesitation.

I tossed the lube onto the bed next to him, then pulled the condom out. “Do you want me to use this?”

He shook his head. “Not unless you want to.”

Pushing back more of those damn chest flutters, I tossed the condom into the drawer. I’d get tested again as soon as possible to ease my anxiety, but I knew the chances of me not getting negative results were essentially zero.

The only risky behavior I’d engaged in over the years was getting tattoos and piercings, but I’d gone to the same shop for all of them. And in case I had any doubts, Jesse was good friends with the owner and his boyfriend was currently doing an apprenticeship there. There was no way in hell Jesse or Bas would associate with a place that didn’t use safe practices.

Biting back my nerves, I settled between Dex’s legs. I took a moment to admire the picture he made all spread out on the bed for me. He was magnificent, and amazingly, he was all mine.

“Asa,” he moaned when I took him in hand and gave his length a few slow strokes.

I loved when he said my name like that, all lust-drenched and needy.

Leaning down, I took him into my mouth and slowly moved over him, keeping my suction light and using my tongue stud to tease his shaft.

He shuddered and threaded his fingers in my hair.

Still working him with my mouth, I gently tapped my finger against his taint. He spread his legs and arched his hips up, his invitation clear.

I let him fall from my mouth. “Do you want my tongue or fingers?”

“Tongue,” he said, his voice as wrecked as he looked.

“Do you want to flip over, or do it like this?” I asked.

He hiked his legs up and held himself open for me.

My own cock pulsed at the sight. God, that was heady as fuck. Seeing how much he wanted this did wonders for my confidence, and I was finally able to shut off the last part of my brain that was still worried about fucking up or it not being good for him.

Splitting him open with my hands, I swiped my tongue over his hole.

He let out a guttural cry and jerked on the bed. I did it again, unable to hide my grin when he started rocking against my mouth and moaning my name.

Giving in to the overwhelming desire inside me, I licked and lapped at his hole, mimicking what he’d done to me, until I found my rhythm. When he was squirming on the bed and babbling deliriously, I stabbed my tongue inside him. I couldn’t go deep because of my tongue stud, but Dex didn’t seem to mind as he held my hair and repeated my name like it was a prayer.

Could he come like this? That would be so hot, seeing him come just from having my tongue in him.

“Too much,” he gasped.

I pulled off him and sat up on my knees. I was desperate to get inside him, but I needed to finish prepping him first.

He let his legs fall to the bed as I slicked up my fingers with some lube. His cheeks and chest were flushed pink, his eyes were bright with desire, and his curls were a tangled mess around his head.

He’d never looked better.

“Ready?” I pressed my finger against his softened hole.

“Yeah, do it.”

Being as gentle as possible, I pushed my finger inside him. He let out a soft grunt and clenched around my digit.

“Have you ever done this before?” I paused to give him a chance to adjust. “With toys or your fingers?”

He shook his head and sucked in a deep breath.

I rubbed his inner thigh with my free hand and waited until he stopped clenching around me. When I felt him loosen up, I slowly pushed my finger the rest of the way inside him, moving half an inch at a time so I didn’t overwhelm or hurt him.

“Jesus,” he grunted when I was all the way in.

“Good?” I slid my finger about halfway out, then pushed back in.

“It’s weird, but good.” He blew out a shuddering breath.

The next time I pushed in, I made sure to drag my finger over his prostate.

He let out a soft cry and arched into me. “ Jesus . Do that again.”

I did, my cock aching as he started leaking for me.

Seeing him like that, being able to watch my finger disappear inside him, was beyond hot. Maybe I really did have a voyeur kink.

“Ready for another?” I asked when he seemed fully adjusted.

“Yeah, do it.”

Carefully, I worked a second finger inside him. “Do you want my mouth too?”

He shook his head. “Don’t want to risk coming.”

I made sure to hit his prostate with every pulse of my hand, and soon he was rocking with me and once again moaning my name like it was a prayer.

“Do you want three?” I wasn’t big, but this was his first time, and the last thing I wanted was to hurt him.

“No. I’m ready.” He blew out a shaky breath. “Fuck me.”

Blowing out my own breath, I pulled my fingers out of him and wiped them on the sheets. “How do you want to do this?”

“Like this.” He spread his legs wide.

Steeling myself against my own release, I pumped some lube into my hand and slicked myself up. When I was ready, I lay over him, holding myself up with one hand and notching myself against his opening with the other.

He immediately wrapped his legs around my waist, angling his body toward me.

“Ready?” I asked, my voice shaking with both nerves and anticipation.

He nodded and pulled in a deep breath, his eyes never leaving mine.

Holding myself in place, I waited until he exhaled, then pushed against him until I popped through his outer ring. I paused to give him a chance to get used to the intrusion—and to give myself a chance to calm the fuck down so I didn’t make good on my earlier jokes about coming the second I got inside him.

“Okay?” I asked, my voice coming out in a rough rasp.

“Yeah,” he grunted. “More.”

Obliging, I pushed in about another inch, pausing when he let out a grunt. “You okay?”

“Yeah. It’s good. Weird, but good. Go deeper.”

As much as I wanted to kiss him, I was glad I could see his face as I tunneled deeper, pausing every inch or so until I was fully seated in him.

“Holy fuck.” He let out a strangled laugh. “Jesus, you feel huge.”

Letting out my own weird laugh, I lay on him, needing to feel his skin against mine. “Imagine how big you feel.”

Tentatively, I rocked my hips, giving a little test thrust.

His moan and the way he arched into me told me he liked it as much as I did.

I pulled about halfway out, then pushed back in. His mouth met mine in a hard kiss, and I shifted my hips the slightest bit, hoping to get the right angle.

His gasp on my next thrust told me I’d found his spot, and I closed my eyes, letting my instincts take over as I moved inside him. Our kisses were messy and frantic and absolutely perfect as Dex rocked with me, helping me find a rhythm as I fucked him.

It felt amazing, too amazing, and I could feel the edges of my orgasm creeping up on me and threatening to take over.

“Jerk yourself off,” I said gruffly, pulling away from his kiss so I didn’t give in to my release. There was no way in hell I was coming before him.

He jammed one hand between us and fisted his cock. Seconds later, his body tightened, and he let out a cry as wetness pooled between us.

That was my undoing, and I slammed into him one more time, my orgasm exploding out of me as I emptied deep inside him.

Dex yanked me down for another messy kiss as we came together, and I let my mind float away on the good feels and the knowledge that I’d just come inside him with no barriers.

When my brain finally snapped back to reality, I was lying on his chest with my face pressed into his neck as he held me tight.

“Jesus,” he muttered when my dick fell out of him. “That part is weird.”

I pulled my face from his neck. “Yeah. I’m not a fan of it either.” Settling on my forearms, I looked down at him, searching his face to make sure I hadn’t hurt him. “Are you okay?”

He grinned and huffed out a laugh. “Oh yeah. That was… I can’t think of any fancy words for better than good right now, but you can fill in the blank.”

Before I could say anything more, he caught my lips in a soft kiss. I kissed him back, our lips and tongues moving together in a sensual dance.

When he finally pulled away, I was lightheaded and breathing hard.

“I love you,” he mumbled against my neck.

Slowly, I pulled away and looked down at him. His eyes were wide with shock, like he hadn’t meant to let that slip out.

“You love me?” I whispered, my chest tightening with both fear and hope. There was no way he was in love with me, right?

“Yes.” He swallowed thickly and held my hips like he was afraid I’d try to run away. “I have for a while. I just didn’t recognize it until now because I’ve never felt it before.”

I gaped at him, my brain not quite catching up to reality.

Dex loved me?

The fear in his eyes intensified, and that finally knocked me free of my daze. “I love you too,” I said, pushing past the irrational part of me that was still afraid to say it, even though he’d said it first.

He blew out a breath and closed his eyes. “Thank fuck,” he whispered.

“Sorry.” I pressed my forehead against his. “I didn’t mean to leave you hanging like that, I just?—"

“It’s fine.” He gently squeezed my hips. “I didn’t mean to say it now. It just slipped out.”

“I’m not sorry it did. I was just so sure that I was the only one who felt it, who wanted more.”

“Not the only one.” He pressed a soft kiss against my lips. “We really need to get better at talking.” He kissed me again, slower this time but just as sweet.

I smiled against his lips. “We really do,” I said when we pulled apart. “Just be patient with me, please. I don’t mean to be so closed off, it’s just hard for me to talk about things. I don’t even understand why it’s so hard. It’s like I physically can’t get the words out, even when I want to. And I convince myself that saying anything will ruin everything, so I just keep it all inside and drive myself crazy freaking out over it. I don’t want to be like this, I just can’t stop.”

“I get it,” he assured me. “I know you, remember? We might not have gotten along until recently, but I know how you work.”

“Were you always this amazing? I swear you used to be an asshole.”

He laughed, his smile big and genuine and so bright my chest went warm, and I couldn’t help grinning back at him. I used to love pissing him off, now I loved making him smile.

“I was always this amazing. I just didn’t let anyone see it.” He slid his hands down and cupped my ass. “Does that sound familiar at all?”

“I may be able to relate to that.” I grinned down at him, still trying to process everything that happened since we lay down.

My joy faded as an ugly thought invaded my mind.

“What’s that look for?” he asked.

“What are we going to do about our parents?”

“Tell them.”

“You make it sound so easy.”

“It can be if we want it to be.”

“What do you mean?”

“I think telling them is the best strategy. We could try to hide it, but how long would that last? They’ll find out we’re living together eventually. That will be enough to make them butt into our business until they get answers.”

I sighed. He wasn’t wrong. Our parents might be completely detached from our lives and want nothing to do with us unless they could get something out of us, but they were nosy as fuck and felt entitled to all the details of our lives when it suited them.

There was no way in hell they’d ever leave us alone if they suspected something might be going on between us.

I’d already had to deal with my mother after the kids told her about Dex coming over to babysit with me. Thankfully that conversation had been over text, so I just said he stopped by for a few hours to spend some time with the kids and left when they went to bed. She’d accepted that at face value and made a few comments about how wonderful it was that Dex wanted to be so involved with them, and that was that.

I couldn’t have pulled that off if we’d been talking face to face, and there was no way I could go back to pretending I disliked him and not have her see through me like I was made of glass. My mother might not like me, but she knew me, and she knew exactly how to set me off so I’d tell her exactly what she wanted to know.

“Are you worried about how they’ll react?” I asked.

“Not really. I’m sure they’ll have issues with it, but whatever. We’re adults, and we’re not related. They don’t get a say in our lives anymore. Especially after ignoring us for the last eight years and treating you like their errand boy and babysitter.”

“And you like a prized pig at the fair.”

He laughed. “That’s a scarily accurate description of how I feel every time I have to be around them and their friends.” He paused, a thoughtful look crossing his handsome features. “What about the kids? Do you think they’ll be able to handle it?”

“I think so,” I said. “Ruby and even Tanner are too young to really understand dating or relationships. Chloe has a better grasp on it, but I think even she’s too young to put adult thoughts and feelings onto those kinds of things.”

“What do you mean?”

I rubbed my cheek against his chest. It meant a lot that he was asking my opinion on this and deferring to me since I’d spent more time with them. “They’re still young enough that they still see the world through the lens of a child. It might be confusing for them because we’re both their brothers, but they know we’re not related to each other. They also know I’m gay, and it's never been an issue. Chloe constantly asks me if I have a boyfriend, and Tanner’s told me he hopes he grows up to be gay too because boys are more fun than girls.”

Dex chuckled softly. “I remember thinking that when I was a kid and learned what gay was. Maybe that was one of the early signs I missed.”

“You never know. I don’t remember if I thought anything like that, but I didn’t even like people until you, so I might not be the best metric for measuring future LGBT status. But think they’ll be fine as long as we talk to them before our parents can put it in their head that this is somehow not okay or weird.”

He gave me a little squeeze that felt way too good. “Yeah, that makes sense. Do you think we should do it right away, or wait until the next time we see them?”

“I’m not sure. What do you think the odds of them finding out before we can talk to them are?”

He paused. “Not that high. As far as I know, they’re not friends with any of my friends’ parents. And I can’t see the info getting to them through any of their contacts.”

“Then I think we should wait. I want to enjoy this before I have to stress out about that conversation.”

He chuckled. “I completely agree.”

“How about we take a shower when my legs are working again, then go to bed?”

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

“I know this isn’t the best time for this since our brains are probably a bit scrambled,” he said. “But I talked to the building super.”

“You did?”

“Yeah. I told him you were living here a while ago.”

“Really?”

“I figured it was better to just pay the extra fees than it was to risk getting on his bad side.”

“That makes sense. There are certain people you really don’t want to piss off, and the person in charge of your living situation is definitely one of them.”

“Exactly.” He paused. “I talked to him about moving into a two-bedroom unit when one becomes available.”

“You did?” I couldn’t stop my smile.

“Yeah. Do you still want to live together? I know it might be weird now that we’re dating, but there’s really nothing normal about our relationship and?—”

“I still want that.” I pressed a kiss against his chest.

“Do you want to stop camming?”

“Why would I want to stop?” I lifted my head so I could look at him.

“Because things are different now?” He shot me a helpless look. “I’ve never done this before, so I have no idea what the rules are when it comes to this kind of thing.”

“I don’t want to stop. And I think people will really dig the whole stepbrothers who are also boyfriends angle we have now.”

“They definitely will.” He grinned. “I’m game if you are.”

“I’m definitely game.” I grinned back at him. “You’ve awakened something in me.”

“Oh yeah?” He rubbed his hands up and down my sides. “What’s that?”

“My voyeur kink.”

“Wouldn’t it be your exhibitionism kink?”

“Nope. Definitely voyeur. The whole other people watching us is kind of whatever for me, but I really like seeing what they see. Watching us on the screen is way hotter than it has any business being.”

“Yeah, I’m a big fan of that too. Maybe we could play around with recording ourselves again.”

“Like to make content?”

“No. Just videos for us so we can watch them when we’re not online.”

My dick stiffened against his thigh, which was crazy, considering we’d already had sex twice in the past few hours.

He laughed and pecked a kiss against my lips. “Someone likes that idea.”

I shot him a look and wiggled against his swelling cock. “It’s not like I’m the only one who does.”

“This is so not how I saw things going when you asked if you could stay with me,” he said, his expression serious again. “I’m not happy you went through all that and got evicted, but I’m really happy we ended up here.”

“Same.” I swallowed around the lump in my throat.

“Come on.” He patted my ass. “Let’s take another quick shower, then get to bed.”

I gave him one last kiss, then climbed off him. Right now I wanted nothing more than to fall asleep in my boyfriend’s arms and revel in the knowledge that we had a lifetime of nights together ahead of us.