Page 69 of Never

‘She says you’ve been smoking weed.’

‘How the fuck would she know a thing like that?’

‘Don’t swear, please. Apparently, it happened at Cindy Riley’s birthday party.’

‘What asshole told her?’

Pauline thought: How can she look so cute and talk so mean?

Gerald said calmly: ‘Pippa, you’re asking the wrong questions. It doesn’t matter how Ms Judd found out.’

‘It’s none of her business what I do outside school.’

‘She doesn’t see it that way, and nor do we.’

Pippa gave a theatrical sigh and closed the lid of her laptop. ‘What do you want me to do?’

Pauline remembered giving birth to Pippa. She had wanted the baby so badly, but it had hurt so much. She still loved her baby with all her heart, and it still hurt.

Gerry answered Pippa’s insolent question. ‘Stop smoking marijuana.’

‘Everybody smokes it, Dad! It’s legal in DC and half the world.’

‘It’s bad for you.’

‘Not as bad as alcohol, and you drink wine.’

Pauline said: ‘I agree. But your school bans it.’

‘They’re stupid.’

‘They’re not, but it would make no difference if they were. They write the rules. If Ms Judd decides you’re a bad influence on other pupils, she has the right to throw you out. And that’s what will happen if you don’t change your ways.’

‘I don’t care.’

Pauline stood up. ‘I guess I don’t, either. You’re getting too old to be told, so I can’t protect you from the consequences of your mistakes much longer.’

Pippa looked scared. The conversation had taken a turn she had not expected. ‘What are you talking about?’

‘If you get thrown out you’ll have to be home-schooled. There’s no point in sending you to another school where you can get in all the same kinds of trouble.’ Pauline had not planned to say this, but now she saw that it was necessary. ‘We’ll hire a tutor, probably two, who will give you lessons right here and take you through your exams. You’ll miss your friends, but that’s too bad. In the evenings you may be allowed out, under supervision, if you behave well and study hard.’

‘That’s so mean!’

‘It’s called tough love.’ She looked at Gerry. ‘I’m done here.’

He said: ‘I’ll spend a few more minutes with Pippa.’

Pauline stared at him for several beats, then walked out of the room.

She went to the Lincoln Bedroom. This was the one she used if she had to come to bed late or get up early and did not want to disturb Gerry’s sleep, which was quite often.

Why did she feel let down? Pippa had been defiant, so Pauline had spoken firmly to her. Yet Gerry had stayed behind, no doubt to soften the impact of Pauline’s reprimand. They were not in accord. Was this new? When they first got together she had been struck by how much they thought alike. But now that she reflected on the past she realized that they had often been at odds over Pippa.

It had started before she was born. Pauline had wanted to give birth in the most natural way possible. Gerry wanted his child to be delivered in a state-of-the-art maternity ward with all the high-tech equipment known to medical science. Pauline had had her way, initially, and Gerry had gone along with all the plans for home birth; but then when the contractions became severe he had called an ambulance, and Pauline had been too distressed to fight her corner. She had felt betrayed, but in the thrill and the challenge of caring for a new baby she had never confronted him about it.

Were they disagreeing more these days? Certainly this tendency to blame her for what went wrong seemed new.

A couple of minutes later he came in, saying: ‘I thought I might find you here.’