Page 140 of Never

‘Small and blonde, with big tits.’

So much for non-binary gender descriptions, Pauline thought.

The interview took place in the studio, on a set that had been dressed to look like an anonymous lounge, with lamps and side tables and flowers in a vase. Moore did not look at ease.

He was introduced by an experienced television journalist, Amanda Gosling. She was perfectly groomed, as they all were. She had carefully styled blonde hair and a blue-grey dress that showed her perfect calves, but she was also smart and tough. She would not give Moore an easy ride.

Moore had moderated his appearance. His jacket still had Western stitching, but he wore a white dress shirt and a regular tie.

Gosling began sympathetically. She asked him about his career as a baseball star, then a commentator, and finally a radio host. Pippa got impatient, saying: ‘Who cares about this crap?’

‘She’s softening him up,’ Pauline said. ‘Just wait.’

Gosling quickly got around to the issue of abortion. ‘Some critics say that your policy on abortion means that women will be forced to have babies they don’t want. Do you think that’s fair?’

‘No one forces a woman to get pregnant,’ he said.

Pippa said: ‘What? What?’

It was obviously untrue, but Gosling did not say so. ‘I’d like to make sure we get your views perfectly clear for our audience,’ she said with sweet reasonableness.

Pippa said: ‘Good idea – then everyone will see what an asshole he is.’

Gosling went on: ‘In your opinion, when a husband asks his wife for physical intimacy, does she have the right to say no?’

‘A man has needs,’ Moore said, in a voice that suggested profound wisdom. ‘And marriage is God’s way of satisfying those needs.’

Gosling allowed her scorn to show. ‘So when the wife gets pregnant, is that God’s fault or her husband’s?’

‘It’s certainly God’s will, ma’am, don’t you think?’

Gosling avoided discussion of God’s will. ‘Either way,’ she said dismissively, ‘you seem to believe the woman should have no say in the matter.’

‘I believe that husbands and wives should discuss such things in a loving and caring way.’

Gosling was not going to be brushed off that easily. ‘But in the end the man is the master, you say.’

‘Well, I think that’s in the Bible, isn’t it? Do you read your Bible, Ms Gosling? I sure do.’

Pippa said: ‘What century is he from?’

Pauline said: ‘He’s saying what a lot of Americans believe. If he wasn’t, he wouldn’t be on TV.’

Gosling took Moore on a tour of hot-button issues from immigration to gay marriage. In each case, without seeming to oppose him, she dug down past his sound bites and brought him to state the extreme views to which he was driven. Millions of viewers were squirming on their couches with embarrassment and disgust. But, unfortunately, millions more were cheering.

Gosling left foreign policy to the end. ‘Recently you advocated sinking Chinese ships in the South China Sea,’ she said. ‘How do you imagine the Chinese government would react to that? What action would they take in retaliation?’

‘None at all,’ Moore said boldly. ‘The last thing the Chinese want is a war with the US.’

‘But how could they overlook the deliberate sinking of one of their ships?’

‘What else can they do? If they attack us, China will be turned into a nuclear wasteland within hours.’

‘And in those hours, what damage would be done to us?’

‘None, because it isn’t going to happen. They won’t attack us while I’m president, because they know for gosh-darn certain that I’ll wipe them out.’

‘That’s your judgement, is it?’