Page 17 of Make You Wish You Were Dead

He looks so comfortable and relaxed. The way he is in control of his body amazes me.

I feel my phone vibrate again and I look down seeing a text from Thalia.

Thalia: Hello?!

All of a sudden Thalia's name flashes on the screen and I decline the call.

Me: Don't want to facetime.

Me: I'll come over tomorrow after work x

I put my phone down and lean my head against the lounge chair while closing my eyes.

Chill the fuck out.

You've seen men before.

In fact, you shouldn't even be remotely thinking about one.

I open my eyes and lift my head to look at Rowan again but this time, I see him staring back at me. I feel like my body is on fire as he stares at me and tilts his head to the side a little bit.

He's teasing me.

He leans against the frame and continues to stare at me.

For a minute, which feels like a lifetime, we both just stare at each other, chills run down my body, and I clench my hands in a fist and cross my legs this time. His lips start to lift a little into a smirk and that's when I lose it.

I stand up and grab my towel and book before walking back inside the house.

Why does he have the ability to make my body react this way?

We were just staring at each other.

I run upstairs and close my bedroom door when I get inside. I get on my bed and cover my face with a pillow.

I want to yell and scream. I want to tell him to fuck off and that I don't want him here and that he should have never come back.

But I also want to ask how he is able to make me feel like what happened last year doesn't affect me when I'm around him.

Nine

Rowan

Coffee is a fuckingdrug and scientists weren't wrong about that. Ever since I started drinking it more I can't stop.

I need it.

It's for sure a fucking drug. It gives me the energy and drive I need for the day.

Among other things.

I place the cup of coffee on the counter and grab the banana I found in the fridge. As I sit down and start to drink my coffee, my mind goes back to Jane and the phone call with her father the other day.

Cole Reyes is for sure worried sick about his daughter when she seems to be doing just fine on her own.

Jane is a strong girl and doesn't need or want anyone. I realized that yesterday when I was in the gym because for some fucking reason my mind kept going back to her.

And I hate it.