Page 8 of Lust & Lies

NOELLE

I STARED AT AIDEN, but his face kept morphing into the stranger from my memory, the one who’d been cooking for me, smiling at me, making me laugh. The memory felt too vivid to dismiss, too real to be a fabrication.

I’d never seen that man before, yet the warmth in his eyes, the familiarity of his presence, all felt genuine. Had I been... had I been cheating on Aiden? The thought made my stomach churn.

Surely, I wasn’t that type of person, was I? A sudden tap on the counter nearly made me jump out of the chair. Blinking, I stared up at Aiden. My husband.

“Are you tuning me out?” he asked.

“Oh, uh...” I struggled to find words. Looking at him now, all I could see was the man from my memory. “I...”

“What’s wrong?” he asked, concern etched into his expression. “Are you feeling okay?”

I guess I didn’t answer fast enough because he quickly moved around the island to stand before me, reaching out. Instinctively, I leaned back, unable to help myself. And I’d just promised him that I would try not to do that.

I could almost feel the disappointment coming off him, saw it in his eyes, in the way he slowly pulled his hands back, shoving them into his pockets. I hated this disconnect. But that nagging feeling was back in full effect. And now, I had a solid reason to feel it. Who was that man in my memory?

“Sorry,” Aiden apologized. “I didn’t mean to reach for you so abruptly.”

Again, he’d done nothing wrong. I was the problem. Aiden stepped back, and just like that, the wall between us started going up again. This time, I was the one who wanted to reach for him. My fingers twitched in my lap, but I held myself back.

Instead, I clasped my hands together, squeezing until my fingers ached. I didn’t know what to do, think, or feel. I wanted my memories to return, but I hadn’t imagined myself remembering being with another man.

Now that I had, I couldn’t just ignore it. My stomach roiled. My throat tightened. I truly felt like I was about to be sick.

“I...” I said at the same time that Aiden started to say something. “You first,” I told him, wanting more time to process my thoughts.

It wasn’t like I could tell him what I’d remembered. What if he didn’t know I’d cheated? What if he knew, but we’d moved past it? What if it had broken us once, and now we were just barely putting the pieces back together?

Ugh! After just promising to be more straightforward with him, I was already keeping things to myself, becoming more withdrawn. After all that talk about being honest, here I was, hiding things.

Aiden cleared his throat, then started to speak again, only to be interrupted by his phone this time.

“Damn,” he muttered under his breath, pulling his phone out. He stared down at the screen and said, “Why does he want a video call? What has he done?”

I was curious to know what and who he was talking about. But I also wanted a moment alone to process my own thoughts.

“You can step out and take the call if you need to,” I said, keeping my voice light, trying not to reveal just how shaken I was. “I’m okay.”

“You sure?” he asked, eyebrows lifting.

I nodded. He sighed and looked at the stove before returning his gaze to me.

“Would you mind stirring the food for me while I step away?” he asked, phone still ringing.

“I don’t mind at all.”

I stood and strode around the island with him following behind me, the music from his phone still playing.

“Be careful and don’t burn yourself,” Aiden told me. “Let me get you a glove.”

He opened the drawer. This man was really getting me a glove. I almost laughed.

“Aiden,” I said, turning to him. “I remember how to stir food, and I’m pretty sure I don’t need a glove just to stir.”

“Right,” he mumbled, sliding the glove back into the drawer.

“Go,” I told him, already reaching for the large wooden spoon. “I’ve got this.”

He nodded and took a step back, but his eyes didn’t stray from me. The phone ceased ringing.

“Look,” I said, stirring the food. “You took so long to answer, he hung up.”

“Trust me, he’ll call back,” Aiden countered, still staring at me.

I turned back to the stove, unable to meet his gaze. There was so much I wanted to say. So many questions I wanted to ask. But I was afraid to bring it up. Afraid of the Pandora’s Box I’d opened if I mentioned what I’d remembered. His phone started ringing again.

“Go,” I insisted, not looking his way, yet feeling his eyes on me. “Hurry, before you miss the call again.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he muttered.

My heart fluttered for some silly reason. But the guilt hit me harder. I looked over at him as he walked a few steps away and answered his call, continuing toward the exit.

“What?” he hissed, staring at his phone.

“Don’t ‘what’ me,” a deep voice retorted. “I didn’t call to talk to you anyway. Where’s Noe?”

Noe? Was he referring to me?

“Ethan, I told you not to disturb me unless it’s important.”

“This is important,” the man, Ethan, insisted. “Tristan told me you took Noe to the country estate instead of bringing her to the city.”

Aiden was in the hall now, but I could still hear their conversation as I stirred the food. I stirred slower, unable to stir properly and listen at the same time.

“Did you take her all the way out there so I wouldn’t be able to see her?”

“She’s healing, Ethan.”

His voice was getting fainter. Feeling nosy, I moved the wok to the back burner and tiptoed toward the open door to hear them better. Since they were talking about me, maybe I could get some insight into my life by listening in.

“I know she’s healing,” Ethan stated. “Seeing me won’t wound her.”

“Ethan!”

“It’s been a long time since I’ve seen her.”

“You’ll see her soon.”

“Let me talk to her, or I’m coming out there.”

Aiden sighed. “Listen, don’t make me...”

“I’m picking up my car keys.”

“Ethan!”

“I’m walking to the door. You know I’ll do it.”

I smiled. Who was this guy?

“Fuck, Ethan. This is her first day out of the hospital.”

“I won’t keep her on the phone for long, brother.”

Ethan was his brother. It seemed I was close to my husband’s brother. Was I close to his entire family? If so, that made me feel guiltier about the memory from earlier.

“I’m heading to my car,” Ethan stated.

“Alright. But...” Aiden started to whisper. “Don’t say anything you shouldn’t. Her memories are truly gone. I don’t want to confuse her.”

“But when they come back, she’ll remember that...” Ethan said, only to be cut off by Aiden.

“I don’t think you should talk to her right now, Ethan. You’re already fucking up.”

“Okay. I won’t say anything I shouldn’t.”

I frowned. What was it he shouldn’t say? What was it that they were afraid I’d remember?

“I’ll take her the phone now. If you piss me off, Ethan...” Aiden warned.

“I know, I know, you’ll kill me. Give her the phone. I’m tired of looking at your frown.”

Oh, shoot. He was coming back. Moving as fast as I could on my tiptoes, I quietly rushed back over to the stove, put the wok back on the front burner, and began stirring again. I waited until I heard him behind me, then glanced over my shoulder.

“Did you finish your call?” I asked as if I hadn’t been listening in.

He shook his head.

“Is that Noe?” the guy on the phone said, his voice clearer now. “Turn the phone around so I can see her.”

“Be quiet,” Aiden muttered, half under his breath.

Placing the phone behind his back, he walked toward me.

“I know the doctor said for you to have your memories return on their own. And I’d hoped to keep my family away until you remembered them. But my youngest brother is a hot head, and he’s demanding to talk to you.”

“I’m not a hot head. Don’t tell her lies, Aiden,” Ethan called out, his tone annoyed but playful.

I pressed my lips together to keep from smiling.

“If you’re not up for a video call, we can wait until you are,” Aiden told me, sounding concerned and a tad bit nervous.

“No. I’m fine. I can talk to him. I just don’t know what to say since I don’t remember your brother.”

“I’m your brother, too,” Ethan called. “Aiden, raise the phone so I can talk to her instead of the wall.”

Aiden exhaled hard, eyes shutting briefly. Though his brother seemed to be annoying him, I could tell they were close. Chuckling, I moved the food to the back burner and turned the stove off. Facing Aiden, I stuck my hand out and wiggled my fingers.

“Let me talk to my brother,” I said.

Maybe this brother would let something slip. Something Aiden didn’t want me to know. Maybe he’d revealed whatever it was that Aiden thought would confuse me.

“I hope I don’t regret this,” he mumbled as he brought the phone back up to his face and aimed a scowl at the screen. “Five minutes, that’s all you get. And then it’ll be time for us to eat.”

“I got it,” Ethan agreed.

Aiden handed me the phone, his fingers brushing mine. Swallowing down my nervousness, I turned the screen toward me and froze with a fake smile plastered on my face. I stared at the man who was smiling back at me.

That face, those eyes, that smile...

I recognized them. This was the man from my memory. He was talking now, but his words weren’t penetrating the fog in my brain. My mind was racing, stumbling through questions it didn’t know how to form. What it boiled down to was, why was my husband’s brother the man in my memory?

“You okay, Noe?” Ethan asked.

I didn’t respond. I couldn’t. Not until Aiden’s fingers brushed my arm, pulling me out of the haze.

“I knew she wasn’t ready for this,” Aiden muttered, his voice edged with frustration at himself, maybe, or at the situation.

I blinked, dragging my gaze up to his. His brows were drawn together, eyes scanning mine, their dark depths filled with worry.

“I’m sorry, Noe,” Ethan was saying. “I really didn’t think this would be too much for you.”

My gaze dropped down to the phone again. His brother wore a matching concerned expression. But his wasn’t as intense as Aiden’s. If Ethan had been someone I was secretly involved with, he wouldn’t be this relaxed, this casual, especially not in front of Aiden.

Maybe I’d misread the memory. Maybe it wasn’t what I thought. Perhaps this was what Dr. Mercer had been talking about when he said our brain would take information and try to form a story around it that may not always be the truth.

“I won’t call again until you’re ready,” Ethan told me, sounding regretful.

“No,” I told him, knowing that he could be my key to finding out the stuff Aiden wasn’t ready for me to know. “It’s not you. It’s me.”

“Something no man ever wants to hear,” Ethan joked. “I can’t believe you just said that, Noe. You wound me.”

“I’m serious,” I rushed to say. “I, uh, kind of blanked out for a second.”

“You feeling okay?” Aiden asked, at my side now, placing the back of his hand against my forehead.

“Is she feverish?” Ethan asked. “Maybe she needs to sit down.”

“I’m fine,” I assured them, almost tearing up at how they were both treating me. “I promise,” I said, gaze lifting to meet Aiden’s, who finally lowered his hand. “I think... I think I just had a memory.”

Aiden’s eyes widened.

“For real?” Ethan asked.

I smiled faintly, still watching Aiden, waiting, hoping, for some kind of reaction. Relief. Excitement. Anything. But his face remained unreadable. He didn’t seem upset. But he wasn’t exactly excited for me either.

And that said more than any words could. I didn’t think my husband wanted me to get my memories back. Or was I just misreading the situation... again?